Wife Trouble.....help!

[Gary D.]

It took better than 20 years before my wife started diving and that created a monster. Honey, QUIT buying everything out there!

You want to see slow come watch my wife. She has MS so she just pokes around on the bottom. I just stay with her and if I want to go fast I leave her home or topside.

Work together on this and keep her diving.

Gary D.

 

[knotical]

Perhaps your wife is like a student from a few years ago. Apparently in good physical condition, good finning technique, but quite slow. Took me a while to realize he just wasn't kicking hard. Suggested he get angry at the water for slowing him down, and kick it harder. Suddenly he had speed.

 

[seaducer]

It took better than 20 years before my wife started diving and that created a monster. Honey, QUIT buying everything out there!

You want to see slow come watch my wife. She has MS so she just pokes around on the bottom. I just stay with her and if I want to go fast I leave her home or topside.

Work together on this and keep her diving.

Gary D.

Always inspirational to learn of people doing extraordinary things. I ride the MS150 every year, and am always inspired by people who fight the disease as opposed to allowing it to consume them, as my aunt did.

/hijack

 

[Papa Steve]

Thanks for the advice..
I guess my biggest question is .... Do all of you out there that dive with your spouse have a unusually high level of stress and anxiety over worrying about your spouse? I mean,.. I cannot keep my eyes off of her because I worry so much about her safety... Its not that she is a bad diver or dangerous or anything... I just worry so about her so much I find myself bound up in knots.... I guess this just subsides with time and practice??

Samson-

I did for a while. When it subsided I realized it had more to do in confidence in myself than it did with confidence in her.
Slow down (i'm not just talking about swimming speed), take your time, and enjoy the dive. My goal in diving is quality time with her more than it is about SCUBA. Don't get me wrong . .I love diving. But if I go with a goal to have a great, shared experience with my wife it totally changes my frame of mind. Any shortcomings in her skills, or mine, cannot block reaching that goal . .only my attitude can.
I remember when my kids were the age that I started taking them fishing. My goal was to have a great day with my child. Catching fish was just icing on the cake. In time, this developed within them a love for the outdoors and being with their dad. On the other hand, if my goal was to catch fish I would get frustrated, they would get intimidated, and likely wouldn't care too much about fishing or me.

Do simple dives for now, well within both your skill sets and physical ability. Make it about enjoying your wife and she will likely develop an even deeper appreciation for the sport . . .and you.

 

[Doc Intrepid]

Buy her a Cuda:

http://www.dive-xtras.com/content/view/36/2/



Then she'll have to wait for you.....

 

[Reg Braithwaite]

Has anyone here who is an experienced diver ever got their spouse or significant other involved in diving?

Actually, I'm the SO, my wife got me into diving. But a warning: I have much more experience with rock climbing culture. At gyms and crags you will meet many amazingly strong and expert women climbers. Invariably, when I ask them how they got into climbing, the story goes...

I was dating this guy and he liked to climb. I tried it and I liked it. Things were fine until I started climbing harder than he did, then he didn't want to go climbing with me any more.

 

[DiverLS]

I was the wife that was left behind by a speed demon. Yes - we had some problems with it. With experience and learning to fin with my thighs, not my calves (I use Blades) I could keep up. Husband is gone but diving wasn't the problem.

I have taught other divers not using split fins the fin with the calf muscles. ALL of then said thank you.

 

[Web Monkey]

My wife loves to dive, but is VERY VERY slow swimmer,.. I am working on her kicking technique with her, but it is going slow.... In a current,.. I have to litterally drag her along to keep from getting swept out to sea at certain sites....
Consequently my anxiety level of worring about her and constantly keeping an eye on her has made my divin

You can't (and shouldn't) make her dive faster, so you need to dive slower. While you can probably swim faster than a lot of people, nobody can "out-slow" you even if it requires that you stop moving entirely.

There's no reason to be swimming into the current anyway. That's what boats are for. Choose dive sites with low/no current and where the is a current plan it as a drift dive.

As for your anxiety level, I'd suggest more practice. There's a ton of anxiety involved with diving with someone you're not sure of and this goes for her as well as you, even if she hasn't said anything. Once you get to the point where all the emergency skills (air sharing, OOA drills, etc.) are no longer stressful and you learn to stay together, your dives will be a lot easier and more pleasant for both of you.

Terry

 

[don Francisco]

You can manage the problem from a few directions.

First you can work with her to improve her speed, especially against current. It may be a matter of strength, finning technique or endurance. She might need different fins, or maybe lessons in how to out think currents by using the bottom contour to advantage.

If her ability to fight currents is a safety issue, choose sites differently so you don't have to worry about her being swept away. Also consider drift diving, making the current your friend, and finning only to maneuver within it. (speed not required)

The other approach is to realize that just because she is now a diver, that doesn't mean that ALL your diving has to be as a couple. You might share dives with her at sites within her abilities, and dive some of the more challenging sites alone.

If the both of you can strike a balance you'll have the best of both worlds. The company of your spouse when it's desirable without the frustration or guilt when diving together doesn't work well.

 

[--tom--]

One other thing that comes to mind for the OP: How is your weighting? I see divers that are incorrectly weighted (wrong weight & trim) compensating by speed in the water. In other words, if they aren't moving, they will move up or down in the water column. Could the issue be you can't swim slow enough because of this?

Diver0001 was (as usual) ahead of me, get yourself a camera, you will have to slow down to take pictures.

Congrats on an SO that dives with you.