Just in from the guys I used to dive with in the UK - made me laugh and I thought that I would share it..........
If you fancy joining them amoeba I'm sure they can help you lose your CAD status - remember Newhaven is only 1 hour from London..........
Enjoy
Jonathan
Ok, Ok, I hear you cry what can possibly be good about the winter!
Well apart from Halloween, Fireworks night, and not forgetting a visit from Father Christmas, I can still think of many many reasons to celebrate the wonderful seaon of winter.
Look out of your windows and you will see beautiful winter days, the sun is strong the air develops a cool crisp snap to it, we all want to go snare our mate and dragt'em back to the warm cave for a 'cuddle' etc. Its that primreview instinct, and many of you may say "Speak for yourself" that encourages us to launch ourselves into the last desperate 'hunt' for the morsels of game we can feast over in the few months of famine. If you haven't been sharp enough to stock your larders for the winter you may feel you have a bleak time ahead. Well not quite!
You can see from the above that we at your favourite dive centre are sympathetic to your plight we will be staging even more events and sales for you to feast your appetite on whilst sufffering the 'dark age'. There is no need for you to starve yourselves of pleasure you can still enjoy the rich feasts of summer throughout the months ahead.
"Tell us how" I hear you cry. "Feed me, make our tummies big and round" you call in desperation.
I will but first I am going to tell you what you need.
I would strongly advise anyone who wishes to come on our winter 'hunts' to protect
themselves from the icy devils of the deep. The devils that will worm and seep into your suits whilst you brave the rich watery plains of the cold and deep. Make sure your armour is of the dry design. Make sure your suits have been blessed by the magical powers of Kenneth the wise old wizard who passes our way each day. If your suit has not been blessed, the seals not checked and the valves not tested, you may succumb to the evil magic of the ice devil for which there is no known cure.
Our wry old wizard has agreed to test the suits for the sultry fee of one dogs paw, two rabbits feet and a rats tail for he too needs to stock his larder of potions. But before you all start bringing in the remnants of your bins, these are a special type of dogs, rabbits and rats that you do not know of and cannot be found here in the land of queens! We however purchase these for a mere coin the value of which is about £10.
For those of you that do not wish to part with your suits for a few days can carry out some home inspections:
1/ Block all opening to the suits close the zips, inflate the suits until hard. Stand the suit up leave overnight. If the suit falls over within four hours its leaking and needs looking at.
2/ Look at the seals make sure there is no cracking, splitting or stickiness on the seal. To ensure you are inspecting the seals properly, stretch out the seals tight when viewing.
3/ Test the inlet valves do not stick, and return to the normal opening fast and sharp, with a snap. The piston shaft in most valves accumulates salt deposits over the dive season these can cause scoring along the shaft at worst, or cause the deposits to sit behind one or both of the piston and bore o'rings, which can then result in the piston dragging or sticking. The only sure way to clean the valve pistons is to immerse the unit into a warm mild acid solution and bombard the unit with high frequency in an ultrasonic cleaner. You are welcome to purchase an ultrasonic cleaner approx £450. Valve malfunction or sticking is one of the most common causes of 'runaway ascents' so avoid the issue carry out the simple checks above or drop your suits in for a check. We will inform you of any repairs or components part replacements we may recommend prior to fitting and deduct the £10 from the service charge.
Regulators
Now this piece of equipment is something you cannot take a chance with. Diving in cold temperatures places a higher stress on your breathing equipment. The chance of suffering a free flow is highly increased in cold water. Please ensure you have you regulators serviced. To help we will give a discount for any regulators put in for servicing during November our offer £25 + parts.
Mask & Fin Straps
Take hold of each item loosen the strap from under the buckle inspect the straps for cracking and deterioation, again pulling the straps taught whilst inspecting.
Drysuit sales
All divers wishing to purchase drysuits for winter fun please not we are offering drysuit packages that include a free undersuit with each package purchased. That means a saving of £95 on your drysuit purchase! It maybe worth mentioning that we have the in store credit facility that will allow you to buy now in the sale and not pay until 12 months. Anyone thinking of purchasing new equipment you would be silly not to take advantage of it. If you have not seen the two new drysuits available in stock please pop in and ask for a demo.
Pony and Regulators.
Whilst diving in the winter, due to the increased possibility of free flows etc. It is advisable to wear an alternate means of air supply. A pony tank and regulator is adequate whilst diving to the recreational depths. Again we have packages available for you.
Everyone going to Mallorca on the nov trip please check your pony tanks are in test and your regs in service. Divers who do not own Pony rigs should consider purchasing prior to departure as you will be diving in overhead environments when exploring the caverns and caves.
Any divers wishing to sign up for the next Mallora adventure please note the next trip is planned for February 21st.
Thank you to everyone who turned up for the free diving evening, all those who attended will bare witness to the fact that most did not want to go home at the end of the evening. The pool session date is yet to be annouced a date you can all attend we hope.
Winter diving
Please e-mail me by return, all of the divers that are interested in diving throughout the winter 'Breaker Elliott' will be running his boat from Newhaven as will we. So to be placed on our winter divers mailing list please e-mail me under the heading 'I want to dance with the ice devil'
We still have 3 spaces available for the december liveaboard so if you are at a loose end and want to get away from the cold.................beautiful winter days.
That is enough for today, if you need more advice please call us
See you next week at the club meeting.
Take care
