Am I being a wimp about these dive plans, or is this how you become a better diver?

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A huge thing that stood out to me was that apparently he's done cave diving before? Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I've heard, cave diving is generally seen as one of the most dangerous types of diving. And its always told to new divers to never go into any type of overhead, low-light environment without special training.
I wouldn't follow your husbands advice because he obviously doesn't have the wherewithal to determine what's safe for him, never mind you.
Don't dive these sites.

For the new/future divers reading this: cave diving IS dangerous, particularly for those with no training and not properly equipped (single tank instead of two, not enough lights, no reels, kicks that stir up silt). But training and proper equipment, along with following the cave diving rules, mitigates the danger.
 
As a relatively inexperienced diver myself, I have personally found there is a difference between skill level and comfort level. Let me explain. There have been times when my skill level was perfectly fine for a particular dive but I felt uncomfortable with the idea of doing it. That didn't mean that I wasn't ready for the dive. It just meant that it was new to me. So there was some anxiety involved.

With that said, it didn't stop me from doing the dive. I mean there's always a first time you do a particular type of dive. For me, the best way to deal with that feeling and learn something new, is to leverage another person's experience and make sure you are well prepared mentally for the dive. Make sure that you mentally rehearse the different aspects of the dive and are well versed on the details of the dive. Pair up with a buddy that has dived that site before. Tell the divemaster that this is the first time doing a dive like that. Things of that nature.

Then make sure you have done multiple simpler dives until you feel comfortable again with your buoyancy control, breathing control, and muscle memory with the gear, especially if it's unfamiliar rental gear. If it's been a while, do a super simple dive where you do nothing but buoyancy control, and gear familiarity and the basic drills you learned when you started, like regulator swaps, buddy breathing, removing masks etc. After 3-4 dives, your level of anxiety will start going away.

When I have taken this approach, there was still some anxiety about doing something new but without exception, I was always glad after the dive and thought it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.

Take care,
Rob
 
As a continuation of my previous post, I am planning on going on the SB trip to Cozemel in a few months. Like you, I haven't been diving because my area requires special gear that I don't have and I haven't done any travel. I also have some new personal gear that I have yet to use.

With that said, I'm not going to get on a plane with new gear, arrive and jump in the water. That would be dumb at my experience level. So my plan is to get with a local dive shop before the trip and do some refresher training. I'll probably ask for a couple tanks. I'll spend some time in the shop with an instructor review my new gear, doing fit checks and verbally reviewing the basic skill procedures.

Then, I plan on going to the local pool, review buddy checks, donning equipment and water entries. Then I will review basic skills in the water for a tank. I plan on using the entire second tank doing nothing but breathing and buoyancy control practice. After that, I will be fine for my trip.

Most shops have a refresher for this very situation. A lot of us don't dive all the time or go extended periods between dive trips. Maybe the operation that you are using will have a refresher you can do when you arrive. I guarantee it will melt away much anxiety when you see how quickly the basic principles and skills come back.

I wouldn't make the decision to do that dive NOW. Do the refresher and then do about 4 tanks on super simple and relaxing dives and then make the decision.
 
@twostringsandawheel

First my apologies for jumping in after only reading the first few and last posts.

I think a little anxiety before any new adventure is normal and expected. Fear is not. It is not a bad thing to push your comfort level a bit and test your boundaries while at the same time taking all reasonable precautions and acquiring the skills to do our challenges as safely as possible.

And of course everyone has their own risk tolerance. It sounds like your husband may be a bit more adventurous then you so as a couple you need to to reach a balance you can be comfortable with. That may be your greatest challenge.

Without knowing the exact dive sites it is difficult to give any concrete advice (did you give that info?). For the wreck, although the bottom may be 100 feet, many wreck can be happily dove at much shallower depths and/or the conditions are so benign that they are easily OW dives. The Hilma Hooker in Bonaire is an excellent example.

A possibility that may have been mentioned is to hire a dive guide for dive 2 and 3.
 
A possibility that may have been mentioned is to hire a dive guide for dive 2 and 3.
Even then, a "guide" is just a guide. A guide isn't the same as an instructor teaching a course in which the student is taken out of their comfort zone in order to learn something new. That said, as I recall, I didn't even find my PADI "Deep Diver" course very valuable, even though I did a couple of dives with an instructor to around 100 feet in less than perfect sea conditions. Far more valuable to me in terms of extending my personal limits was taking a step back after that course and then gradually building back up.
 
For the new/future divers reading this: cave diving IS dangerous, particularly for those with no training and not properly equipped (single tank instead of two, not enough lights, no reels, kicks that stir up silt). But training, with lots of practice and proper equipment, along with following the cave diving rules, mitigates the danger.
Sorry to be picky! Training's only the start; mastery comes with practice.
 
For the new/future divers reading this: cave diving IS dangerous, particularly for those with no training and not properly equipped (single tank instead of two, not enough lights, no reels, kicks that stir up silt). But training and proper equipment, along with following the cave diving rules, mitigates the danger.

I am not sure most new divers understand the distinction between caves, caverns, and swim throughs. Rather, anything with an overhead environment is a "cave."
 
I am not sure most new divers understand the distinction between caves, caverns, and swim throughs. Rather, anything with an overhead environment is a "cave."
I agree. I don't think it's useful to the conversation to pick up on the OP's mention that the husband has done some "cave dives."
 
Dive 2 is a wreck dive, but the kind you swim around and look at, not the kind you go into. Only issue - it's at 100'. I am (I believe) certified to 60' with my OW, and have not gone below 52' before.
AOW is not a magical bullet. It is more a presentation of courses available.
What is relevant though is experience.
Dive, dive, dive.

100' is not that much... but you do need to be mentally prepared for it. A dozen dives is not a lot, but if the environment is benign and you feel safe, then 100ft is not that bad. Make sure that the basic skills (emptying a mask, switching a reg, sharing gas, emergecy ascent, buoyancy control) are familiar to you.
When he showed me pictures of Dive 3, it looked like an overhead environment to me. I expressed that and he replied that it wasn't a "real" one, because there were openings in the ceiling that led to open water, and that you can see the entrance and exit to the space the whole time you're inside.
An overhead environment is another matter completely. There may be openings in the ceiling, but your mental preparedness needs to be on an adequate level to use those would **** hit then fan.
I expressed that I was not comfortable with Dives 2 and 3. The one thing they hammered into my head over and over again during my certification was to only dive within your skill and comfort level (of course "never enter an overhead environment until you've been trained" was a big one too).
That is very wise. Skill and comfort level are very important. Many accidents begin with minor issues that escalate as a result of stress and/or panic. The snowball effect. Please note: that is different from certification level. Real Experience DOES matter.

I am sure that the dives are not very demanding, but if they make you feel uneasy, then there is a slight risk involved.
Given that I'm only OW, and have like a dozen dives under my belt, I do not feel that these dives are within my skill *or* comfort level. I'm happy to do three dives total (plus a refresher, which we're both doing), just not those two in particular.
Can you stay at a slightly shallower depth? Like 15 feet above?
Trust your feelings, though. It is really important.
His response is that this is how you become a better diver
Yeah, true, but it also takes time. Mental preparedness is important.
You should challenge yourself though.
But not by too much.
He himself only has OW, but has done dives of up to 120'
Which is fine, given enough experience and thought.
and has done some cave dives ("really safe" ones, in his words).
"Cave" means different things to different people.
I have seen OW divers do safe ice dives (hard ceiling). Not a problem if distance & depth are controlled and there is a line tender. Similarly "cave" dives could be safe, with many caveats though. BUT the devil is in the detail.
He says the classes and certifications are great, but the best way to gain experience is to just go out and do it.
Totally correct.
There are OW divers with 10 dives and there are OW (not AOW) divers with 100 dives. And there is a difference, and it is in your head, not on your card.
He thinks I'm just nervous because it's been a couple of years, and that once I'm done with my refresher dive and Dive 1, I'll want to do Dives 2 and 3 too.
It's possible he's right.
He also mentioned that for both of these dives, the only certification that the shop requires is OW.
The shop might know more than you do.
Some cavern dives are really really easy.
It is not guaranteed though, that you will FEEL safe.

Please remember that you can always abort a dive.
 
A thought occurred to me on the very reasonable point that a diver can't expand their horizons unless they push themselves beyond their current comfort zones. The key to putting this into practice is knowing how fast to progress, and that's a very individual decision. For me, I seem to get more out of the learning experience by taking baby steps.
 

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