A thread like this comes up about every couple of weeks, usually initiated by someone who has just enough dives to start to see the disconnect between classes and the real world ... and who has done most of their dives paired up with someone they don't know very well. And while some of the frustration is understandable, some of the conclusions are a bit disconcerting. But since we each have to draw our own conclusions, here's a few of mine ...
First off, while it's nice to want to be "self-sufficient" ... most people don't really understand what that means. It does not mean arming yourself with a pony bottle in case you run out of air ... or so that you don't have to rely on a buddy. Self-sufficiency begins with a thorough, and honest, self-review of how you approach a dive. What are your goals? Why are those goals important? How have you prepared for them? How can you best accomplish them with minimal personal risk? How familiar are you with the diving conditions? Have you considered all the potential risks, and what you would do to avoid or deal with them? How reliable is your gear? Do you even know the history or current maintenance status of your gear? Do you practice your self-rescue skills regularly? Do you know how far you can swim in full scuba gear on a breath-hold? Do you know your limits for a CESA? When was the last time you practiced one? How much experience do you have dealing with unexpected problems underwater? CAN YOU MAINTAIN A CALM DEMEANOR WHILE WORKING THROUGH A STRESSFUL SITUATION? People are incredibly good at thinking themselves better equipped for self-sufficiency than they truly are ... especially folks who have just enough dives under their weightbelt to start to feel comfortable with what they're doing ... and haven't yet realized how much about diving they don't know yet.
Next ... self-sufficiency is NOT a replacement for good buddy skills. Forget about the skills of your buddy-du-jour for a moment ... let's talk about what YOU can do.
Most of the complaints I read on ScubaBoard about the horrors of an insta-buddy could have been avoided with better communication before the dive ... and if you and your buddy aren't communicating adequately, perhaps it's not your buddy's fault. How much time and effort do you put into a pre-dive plan? How much time and effort do you put into talking about it with your buddy, and making sure your buddy HEARD what you think you told him (or her)? Good buddy skills start with good communication ... talk about the dive profile, share expectations with each other ... including how you're going to keep track of each other. Talk about diving styles (I always let an unfamiliar buddy know that I like to swim slow, take my time, and look around a lot ... if you're into speeding about, I'm not a good choice for you). Discuss a separation plan ... what will you do in the event that you manage to lose each other? The only assumption you should be making is that if you haven't talked about it, you don't know what to expect from your dive buddy. Being a dive buddy is all about predictable behavior ... and unless you're diving with someone you're familiar with, the only way to be clear on what to expect is to talk about it. If anything seems unclear, makes you uncomfortable, or sounds like the two of you are incompatible ... DON'T get in the water together until you either resolve it or decide to find a different buddy. Almost always, the reason for these insta-buddy horror stories boils down to a lack of communication, and an assumption that the other person has the same goals and expectations you do ... only to find out underwater that it was a bad assumption. Develop good communication skills and those problems usually resolve themselves ... most people WANT to be a good buddy.
Finally, in the water, what kind of buddy are you? Do you pay attention to your buddy, or are you swimming around assuming that they'll be following you? Do you position yourself so that you can see each other at all times? Do you communicate during the dive? Do you assume "roles" so that each of you gets an opportunity to enjoy the sights and achieve the goals of the dive ... whether it's exploring a reef, taking pictures, or poking your head into the hatch of a wreck? Can you divide your attention between the objects you're going down there to see and the person you're going down there to see them with? Are you really down there to SHARE the dive? Or are you buddied up with this person because somebody said you have to? Buddy skills depend on a sharing attitude, a modicum of self-discipline, and a reasonable level of situational awareness ... the SAME situational awareness, by the way, that you're going to have to develop if you are interested in becoming "self-sufficient". And developing that level of situational awareness takes some conscious effort ... and some dives ... it isn't something you will learn by reading about it.
Buddy diving isn't at all about making someone else responsible for your safety ... that would be called "dependent diving" and is something we should all avoid. Buddy diving is about sharing the responsibilities, the decision making, and the redundancy that reduce the risks associated with any kind of failure during the dive. It's about helping each other catch mistakes that may happen because we're all human ... and all humans make mistakes from time to time. It's about catching and fixing the easy things ... BEFORE they become hard things that might cause you to struggle and stress out. How many times has your buddy brought up something that made you think "oh yeah" ... because you hadn't thought about it? On a good buddy team, it happens a lot ... and there's no reason why two people who have never dived together can't make a GOOD buddy team. All it takes is the right attitude and level of communication. Notice I didn't say "skill" ... because I've dived with some new divers who've made EXCELLENT dive buddies. What it really takes is the desire to BE a good dive buddy.
And for the person who mentioned that bad dive buddies are the reason they got into tech ... I don't get that bit. Tech diving relies more heavily on good buddy skills than regular recreational diving. The most important tenets of tech diving revolve around developing excellent buddy skills, awareness, and communication. And ... odd as it may sound ... the same mindset that goes into the development of those skills makes it much easier for someone to ... when they decide the time is right ... get into doing solo dives ... because the mental process that goes into developing good buddy skills also teaches you the proper things to think about when it's time for you to assume the burden of risk analysis and remediation for going solo.
Bottom line ... "self-sufficiency" is not a catch-all for getting out of developing good buddy skills. You still need the same foundation ... situational awareness, planning, preparation, and self-discipline. The only difference is in how you apply those foundational skills, and in how well you can share them with another person. And if you find yourself having buddy issues, don't just assume that it's because the other person is clueless ... perhaps it's something as simple as putting more effort into addressing the expectations you have of a buddy and making sure that your communication was clearly received.
Most folks want to have a fun, stress-free dive as much as you do ...
... Bob (Grateful Diver)
