Diving again after an incident

[hopashore]

Hello all,

Three and a half years ago my mom died while we were scuba diving.

I haven't dived since then, and am beginning to realize that I still really want to. But I'm not sure the best way to go about it.

I think I need to take a basic diving course again,
1) because it's been three and a half years
2) because I'm a little anxious about the possibility of having a flashback or panic attack and being a little scared and do something dumb and I'd rather deal with that in a pool and with a professional than in the open water with a potential stranger

and 3) because I don't think I'd feel comfortable diving with anyone I was with on the trip where my mom died, which leaves me not really knowing anyone who dives anymore and I don't know how comfortable I would be being open with a stranger on a boat that I have "diving baggage"

So that being said,
how have other people found themselves feeling about diving after a bad incident? If you've gone through it, what were the hardest parts for you? I'd rather be as prepared as possible. Is it a good idea for me to even consider this? I'm a little concerned about worrying my family as well :/

And all this is a little long term...I'm a graduate student which means almost no extra money But if anyone knows any good dive instructors/places in or near North Carolina, that would be wonderful as well.

Thanks for reading!

Kara

 

[Jax]

So sorry to hear this, Kara. I have no comments other than warm wishes and welcome to ScubaBoard.

 

[Cave Diver]

Kara,

Sorry to hear about your loss. One of the first things I'd suggest is that you speak to a counselor. If there is a public safety diver team in your area, you might contact them and see if they have a someone who they use after an incident. Even if you feel that you're fine, it may help resolve some of your anxiety to talk about it with someone who is trained to deal with this type of event and understands a bit about diving.

 

[mainedvr]

Kara, glad to hear your thinking of facing this issue as that is the hardest step. No one can really know what its like to be part of a accident or lose someone to something like that unless they have gone through it, as well its different for each of us. I have not had a scuba related incident but was involved in a work accident that an apprentice of mine was seriously injured, and though it was through no fault of my own it caused me much emotional trauma, I lost my job because I could not function at that company and when I was required to do that task again I could not, it took me a few years to be able to work with someone else in my charge, as i would do all the work and take all the risk (my job involved some risk obviously). Anyhow, what I suggest is first if its something you want to do again don't rush it, you will be suprised when you get in the water that you may have no problems, but then again you may freak out so baby steps and make sure anyone that your counting on to work with you to get back to diving knows and is aware.

Good luck

P.S. check out Olympus divers in Morehead City if your in that area for some training. They are very good and very patient.

 

[birdwrasse]

my condolences, too, kara...

i've seen two divers die on two separate occasions and while i didn't take time out of the water right after the incidents, i did have a freak out once. i didn't blast to the surface or anything, but a switch in gear and gear that didn't fit well triggered it.

starting over isn't a bad thing, but i surmise that you'll remember a lot more than you give yourself credit for. like riding a bicycle, you know? if you're diving with a computer, too, your relearning curve will be a lot smaller.

i was a counselor years and years ago, and like cave diver said, a counselor is always a good idea. diving doesn't have to be an emotional thing, but of coarse many of us do it because we love it. you can just do the dive, stick to your plan, then exit the water, but where is the fun in that. we dive because of the wonderful feelings it evokes. i didn't talk to a counselor about my experiences with diver deaths, but i did learn a lot from talking with other divers and many of my instructors. i do a lot of technical diving, so the inherent risk can be a little higher. many tech divers weigh the risks with rewards and often the rewards win out. my favorite diving is cave diving. when i cave dive, i focus on having a fun, safe dive. all of them not only recommended getting back in the water, but the reinforced how much those two loved diving and if they where to ever leave this world doing what they loved, then that risk taken was appropriate.

you might want to seek out a dive instructor that has had that experience and worked through it and still dives so you will have their understanding. while it's not required that you tell a new dive instructor about your experience, if you feel that you may put their life in jeopardy if you do panic in the water, then it would be prudent to tell them.

i would encourage you to get back into diving, too. think about all the wonderful things you saw, the people that you met and the other experiences you've had.

if you would like to talk about it, you can call.



cheers,



--carlos
SSI AOW Instructor #47408

Hello all,

Three and a half years ago my mom died while we were scuba diving.

I haven't dived since then, and am beginning to realize that I still really want to. But I'm not sure the best way to go about it.

I think I need to take a basic diving course again,
1) because it's been three and a half years
2) because I'm a little anxious about the possibility of having a flashback or panic attack and being a little scared and do something dumb and I'd rather deal with that in a pool and with a professional than in the open water with a potential stranger

and 3) because I don't think I'd feel comfortable diving with anyone I was with on the trip where my mom died, which leaves me not really knowing anyone who dives anymore and I don't know how comfortable I would be being open with a stranger on a boat that I have "diving baggage"

So that being said,
how have other people found themselves feeling about diving after a bad incident? If you've gone through it, what were the hardest parts for you? I'd rather be as prepared as possible. Is it a good idea for me to even consider this? I'm a little concerned about worrying my family as well :/

And all this is a little long term...I'm a graduate student which means almost no extra money But if anyone knows any good dive instructors/places in or near North Carolina, that would be wonderful as well.

Thanks for reading!

Kara

 

[DivemasterDennis]

I too offer my condolences and would encourage you to move forward to re-engage in diving. Before deciding to take an entire certification class, I suggest you take what PADI calls a scuba refresher or "tune up." It's a single session, but last s a few hours, and lots of shops will do it one- on one in the pool. That experience will help you decide if you are ready emotionally to dive again, and also if you skills, after the refresher, are sharp enough to do so. May I also suggest that you join a dive club, of which there are many in your area. Make new dive friends and buddies, and let the social aspect of diving help you heal, and focus on memories of good times shared with you mom. Dive when you are ready, not as therapy to get ready, but as a return to an activity that was and will once again be a positive part of you life. All of your friends, including us "cyber friends," are pulling for you and wish you the best.
DivemasterDennis scubasnobs.com

 

[devildoc5]

I too offer my condolences and would encourage you to move forward to re-engage in diving. Before deciding to take an entire certification class, I suggest you take what PADI calls a scuba refresher or "tune up." It's a single session, but last s a few hours, and lots of shops will do it one- on one in the pool. That experience will help you decide if you are ready emotionally to dive again, and also if you skills, after the refresher, are sharp enough to do so. May I also suggest that you join a dive club, of which there are many in your area. Make new dive friends and buddies, and let the social aspect of diving help you heal, and focus on memories of good times shared with you mom. Dive when you are ready, not as therapy to get ready, but as a return to an activity that was and will once again be a positive part of you life. All of your friends, including us "cyber friends," are pulling for you and wish you the best.
DivemasterDennis scubasnobs.com

Not just PADI but all OW agencies seem to have a "refresher" or "update" course. This might be a good idea in your situation. Another thing that might help is as you suggested, taking the whole OW course again.

The reason I say this is because in the OW course they take things (painfully so at times) slow and get students accustomed to being underwater. Even just breathing by putting their face in the water with a reg and no mask. This will help to build confidence in you, same as it does for OW students in general.

My condolences for your loss. The only other advice I can give (from being an EMT, not underwater) is that when I have had people die on me I, for some reason or another, think about something they did and do it a few times.

One time I worked a code on a "mutual acquaintance" of mine who did not make it. Now in order to "get passed that" I always drink 1 miller lite as my first beer of the night whenever I am out at a bar. I can't STAND the taste of miller llite, but it was his favorite beer and makes me remember the better memories i have of being drunk with mutual friends, instead of that day I had to try adn save his life, to no avail.

Hope it all works out for you.

 

[boulderjohn]

I think it would be helpful to you to find someone who is understanding and skilled who is willing to dive with you. You have not filled in your profile, so I don't know where you live, but you might try talking with people in the regional forum for your area. I am sure that if you live in an area with decent local diving, you will be able to find someone who would be willing to do some dives with you to help you get back in the game.

 

[on_two_wheels]

Many excellent comments already provided (refresher course, counseling, etc). LOVE the idea of speaking to a public service diver such as a law enforcement underwater search & rescue diver on how they deal. Great idea!! The only thing I would add is complete your user profile on here and seek out dive buddies. You might have a DM or instructor in the area willing to take you on a few dives for a fee or maybe just because he/she is going diving anyway. Filling out your profile will help others see where you're located. Then simply get involved in some discussions and the geographical forums on here. It'll certainly help build the excitement.

Color me impressed on your strength to head back into it!! Well done!!

 

[hopashore]

Wow!

Thanks, all of you for the responses. The discussion on this board about my mom's death I guess had left me a little defensive so I wasn't really sure what sort of response to expect, but your support is a little overwhelming. A board member has even offered to get me back in the water in a very low key environment and school some basic stuff. Seriously, I didn't know the support of total strangers could make me feel like this really is something I can and should do again, but it definitely has.

Really great suggestion on maybe just taking a refresher course rather than the whole dive course again. I do remember most of the core classroom material, I just want someone who knows what they're doing to walk me through it all and I can take it slowly without the pressure of being on real dive trip. I can always go buy a mask and play some in a pool if I feel I need some extra desensitization I will say I did go snorkeling this summer and while I did have one little moment of panic when I got water in my snorkel/mask and was having trouble clearing it (as soon as I took a moment, told myself I was being dumb and I had schooled this before i was fine) but overall it was a good intro back.

Also definitely not a bad idea talking to a rescue diving team. I've had a couple PMs that there is one in my area so perhaps I'll have to make a trip out there. I have a 50 page paper due this week, so after that

And profile updated, as per request

Seriously, thank you all