How do you manage your non-diving spouse / significant other?

[IRBoarder]

I've found compromise works very well. My wife to be cant even stand to be on a boat, let alone diving. When we head to places like cozumel, I usually will pay for her to have a nice day at the spa, or take her out to a nice dinner so she doesnt have time to get bored and feel like I am there just for the diving, or that she never sees me. Very often she is actually ok with just tagging along and sitting in a chair by the quarry with some sunscreen and a book. However I pay for it later when we have to do a night of shows/dancing or anything else she feels like doing, although its a small price to pay to go diving . Shes even ok when I buy new dive gear, as long as I can still afford the bills.

 

[Byte Me]

My wife doesn't dive either. She won't. Ever. Afraid of the water, will give snorkeling a try from time to time but generally just not a mouth breather and is afraid of the whole deal. I've gotten in enough dives now that she doesn't constantly worry about me - this girl could be on the Olympic Worrying Team if there were one...would probably medal too - and she's grown more comfortable with me diving.

I "discovered" diving 3 years ago on our 10th anniversary trip to Tulum. Did a discover and was immediately in love with diving - as I told her it was a life changing event and that I'd never watn to go on vacation again where I couldn't get underwater. Got certified a year later, and last year went from dive #20 in March to #86 in December. On trips we generally go to AI's so she can lounge around the pool or beach and while she does gripe a bit about me not being around for 1/2 the day I "manage" that by pointing out she's getting me the rest of the trip and we're going to exotic locals that we wouldn't have if it weren't for diving.

The biggest test thus far was the week we spent at CoCo View in Roatan last year. Everyone on the boards said, if you don't dive don't bother going there is NOTHING to do. I got 20 in 4 1/2 days and she had a blast. Her only complaint was, as usual, not spending enough time with me. A couple nice dinners when we get back or a gift on the trip goes a long way too in smoothing things over. The other thing we've done is to schedule a few trips with friends who don't dive so she's not alone. We're leaving for Grand Cayman on Saturday with another couple and a friend (brother of the wife in the other couple). He and I are diving 4 days plus shore and night dives and she'll hang with the others while we're out.

The bigger issue for me now is my local dive buddy is a female friend of ours which opens up a whole 'nother can o worms!

 

[Doc]

.... the week we spent at CoCo View in Roatan last year....Her only complaint was, as usual, not spending enough time with me.

Yes, and Brian- you missed some very cool night dives!

...We're leaving for Grand Cayman on Saturday... and she'll hang with the others while we're out.

I hear they have shopping on Cayman, kind of like Roatan, but there you can use a charge card. Just send her into town shopping. That might amuse her.

The bigger issue for me now is my local dive buddy is a female friend of ours which opens up a whole 'nother can o worms!

Hey, thanks for sending your new dive buddy's picture along in that e-mail.

Ahh... I see that your female dive buddy is ready for your Cayman trip!

 

[Sharka]

LOL, you guys are really funny. I have the flip side of the problem. My hubby dives but he is not a hard-core diver. I've discovered that he cannot handle "Robinson Crusoe" style dive trips. I made the mistake of dragging him to Philippines once and stayed at a spantan dive lodge. He was kind of cranky by the end of the trip. Through these mistakes I've learnt to only schedule dive trips to places with decent accomendation/services (A/C and hot water is a must), and if we need to do stopovers I usually choose an interesting locale where he can visit friends as a sidetrip. So no more ghetto dive trips - I changed my future wishlist to places like Maldives, Wakatobi from PNG. I usually show him pretty pictures of the hotel/spa to get him excited before the trip, and I make sure I schedule a couple of massages for him during the trip (he loves massages and I really hate them - I get tickly if anyone tries to rub me in anyway!) I usually "sell" the location to him by emphasizing all the "highlights" (The resort has good review for its food, etc). Good thing is that he doesn't care about the cost of the trips! Very gullible guy I have!

 

[Rhone Man]

Jewellery.

 

[princessaprilia]

LOL, you guys are really funny. I have the flip side of the problem. My hubby dives but he is not a hard-core diver. I've discovered that he cannot handle "Robinson Crusoe" style dive trips. I made the mistake of dragging him to Philippines once and stayed at a spantan dive lodge. He was kind of cranky by the end of the trip. Through these mistakes I've learnt to only schedule dive trips to places with decent accomendation/services (A/C and hot water is a must), and if we need to do stopovers I usually choose an interesting locale where he can visit friends as a sidetrip. So no more ghetto dive trips - I changed my future wishlist to places like Maldives, Wakatobi from PNG. I usually show him pretty pictures of the hotel/spa to get him excited before the trip, and I make sure I schedule a couple of massages for him during the trip (he loves massages and I really hate them - I get tickly if anyone tries to rub me in anyway!) I usually "sell" the location to him by emphasizing all the "highlights" (The resort has good review for its food, etc). Good thing is that he doesn't care about the cost of the trips! Very gullible guy I have!

Sharka, are you sure we aren't married to the same guy? My hubby flat out refused the Philippine trip.

 

[mwemery1000]

I think this issue may be coming up for me although I am trying to smooth the waters before it happens. Went to Grand Cayman for Christmas this past December, tried a resort dive, got hooked and am now going to get certified in June in Dahab. We've been married for 18 years and have enjoyed many trips together - just not diving trips yet. In Dahab I have promised her a couple non-diving excursions/overnight trips to Jordan and Luxor to kind of take the sting out of my not being around much. She will snorkel with me but diving is out - she has no interest. She "says" she's okay with me going diving while she relaxes but we will have to wait and see how long that lasts. I foresee diving trips alternating with "sightseeing" trips in the future - compromise... Hoping to move to Singapore or Thailand next year so that she will be glad to get me outta the house some weekends!

 

[cappyjon431]

I started diving as a way to cope with divorce. When I got back into the dating scene I made it clear that I would only date those women who dive or wanted to learn.

I met my present wife on a blind date. I had heard through the person who set us up that she wanted to get certified and had even done a dive class through LA County Scuba when she was a kid. We dated, I certified her, we got married, we have been diving together for almost ten years, and now we own a dive shop together. I am truly lucky. Now if i could only get her interested in cave diving (I have not been since we were married) my life would be complete.

 

[USCScubaboy]

I started diving as a way to cope with divorce. When I got back into the dating scene I made it clear that I would only date those women who dive or wanted to learn.

I met my present wife on a blind date. I had heard through the person who set us up that she wanted to get certified and had even done a dive class through LA County Scuba when she was a kid. We dated, I certified her, we got married, we have been diving together for almost ten years, and now we own a dive shop together. I am truly lucky. Now if i could only get her interested in cave diving (I have not been since we were married) my life would be complete.

Gosh! Could you get any greedier?!

 

[SeaHound]

you said that she can't dive because she can't equalize.... is this a medical evaluation, or did she try it once in class and give up? Was it a temporary congestion issue or permanent? Or was it just an excuse not to finish the class? Was she taught how to do it properly by an instructor?
robin

Hello Robint -

She tried diving once in Key Largo. The deepest she could descend was five ft. Later she got checked by a doc and it was diagnosed that she had a minor ear problem which was not minor when you add the pressure factor. We were told that it is something that can be corrected but because it is only a problem while diving and her first experience with diving was not that great - she does not seem very eager to take care of that problem and get back into the sea.