But what makes the other folks, not take it serious? My best guess is that there is no personal responsibility for the other person, your buddy. But I would also think there is more to this than just the responsibility of the other person. These were just to strangers that were paired together for the weekend.
I can think of several reasons why this would happen.
- The divers are so unskilled that they're struggling just to maintain their position in the water. They're using up all their mental bandwidth just trying to keep from rising or sinking, and don't have anything left for anybody else. It's an "every man for himself" situation.
- They were never taught how to be a dive buddy. Sure, they may have gotten some platitudes about how this is what you're supposed to do ... but nobody ever bothered saying "here's how you do it". This is an "I don't know how" situation.
- The instructor doesn't take buddy diving seriously, so the students see this and figure they don't have to either. This is a "why bother" situation.
- They figure the rules don't apply to them. This is the "who, me?" situation.
If I had a diving child I would not allow them to be buddied up with anyone I didn't know.
Good call ... the rule for kids is that they are only allowed to buddy up with a parent or someone the parent specifically designates.
How does one change the poor training, poor skills and negative mind set? I can tell you that in our OW class, buddy was only mentioned once or twice. Dives were a cluster duck, I am not sure anyone could define buddy. They told us to buddy up but that was it. To a new person that does not mean much. I ended up learning how to be a better buddy by reading here and following what felt right and doing the right thing. It is not something I learned in class. I will also add, I still have much to learn.
It sounds as though your instructor doesn't take the buddy system very seriously ... therefore his students won't either. This was my impression reading your initial post, when you were discussing the class diving as a group. One doesn't learn buddy diving that way ... one learns herd diving. Herd diving is where everyone dives as an individual and focuses on the herd leader (in this case, the instructor).
The proper way to teach buddy skills is to take only two divers at a time on the dive, and make sure they know that they are the team ... the instructor or DM is only along to observe, and to provide feedback afterward. Prior to that dive, the skills of cohesion and communication need to be discussed. Cohesion means "here's how you descend together, here's how you dive together, and here's how you ascend together". Communication means "here's how you stay in contact with each other during the dive". This includes hand signals, the use of lights (when appropriate), positioning, and body language. It also involves some behavioral changes ... like learning to turn your head rather than relying on peripheral vision (which you don't have with a dive mask on) or assumptions (that your buddy's going to do what or be where you expect them to). If these things aren't taught, then you don't have a buddy at all ... you have a liability in the water who's likely to do unpredictable things and keep you too stressed out to enjoy the dive.
Your observations are spot-on. I realized the discrepancy between how buddy diving is meant to be and how it's being done a while ago, and that prompted me to get trained, certified and equipped as a solo diver.
The skill that most makes you a good buddy is also a skill that is most needed for solo diving ... that would be good awareness of what's going on around you. There are many excellent reasons to solo dive ... lacking buddy skills isn't among them. At issue is that if someone's too lazy to work on being a good dive buddy, they're unlikely to have the self-discipline needed to be a good solo diver.
On another note though, have you considered the possibility that your daughter might actually being safer if diving with an experienced dive professional? All I'm saying it is very natural and intuitive to feel reluctant to let her dive with anyone but yourself, but given your relative inexperience at this point, you two might actually be taking on a much greater risk by buddying up compared to buddying up with more experienced divers. Yes, blood is thicker than water, but when push comes to shove, that won't be of much help in a diving emergency, where skill and experience alone decide the outcome. I am a very strong believer in pairing up inexperienced with experienced divers.
The problem with this approach is that it tends to create a dependent diver ... someone who hires someone else to "take care of me". That may work out OK for easy tropical dives, but for more challenging conditions ... even at your local quarry ... it's not a good idea. It's far better to limit the scope of your dives for a while and work on developing the skills needed to dive as a buddy team. Being a dive buddy is a commitment to a certain amount of effort and self-discipline. When you're diving with a loved one, the motivation to make that commitment is very strong. That can be a positive thing ... as long as you remain within the limits of your training and comfort zone.
Some time back I wrote an article intended for those who wanted some guidance in
how to be a dive buddy ... some of the newer divers out there may find it useful ...
... Bob (Grateful Diver)
