If her middle name is Shamu she might be too fat.
Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here
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mike_s
Contributor
.
Yo Mama is so fat, when you were conceived, they had to roll her in flour to find the wet spot .....
Yo Mama is so fat, when you were conceived, they had to roll her in flour to find the wet spot .....
A true and funny story . . .
About twenty or thirty years ago, my dad Harry and his brother-in-law Dan were in Scotland on a self-guided golf vacation. They happened to be at the Royal & Ancient (St. Andrews) the same week a BBC TV crew and cast were filming for a series where film stars (some of them very B-list) paired up with golf pros.
Dad and Uncle Dan were working on the practice putting green while waiting for their tee-off, and a bunch of the TV cast were, too. When Dan missed a putt, Robert Stack cracked wise to his entourage, loud enough for everyone to hear, “That guy’s not a very good golfer.”
Dan, a life-long Teamster and truck driver, didn’t miss a beat. He turned to Stack and announced, “You’re not a very good actor, but I don’t go around telling everyone.”
The next morning, Dad and Uncle Dan left their room, got to the elevator, and as the doors open they stepped in and noticed Sean Connery. Connery looks at Dan and says, “I know you. You’re the bloke who told off Stack yesterday.” About the time Dan is thinking of apologizing, Connery says, “I loved that. None of us can stand that ****.”
And then Connery follows up with, “We seem to be one short this morning for our foursome. Care to join us?”
And that’s how my uncle Dan got to play a round with Sean Connery.
About twenty or thirty years ago, my dad Harry and his brother-in-law Dan were in Scotland on a self-guided golf vacation. They happened to be at the Royal & Ancient (St. Andrews) the same week a BBC TV crew and cast were filming for a series where film stars (some of them very B-list) paired up with golf pros.
Dad and Uncle Dan were working on the practice putting green while waiting for their tee-off, and a bunch of the TV cast were, too. When Dan missed a putt, Robert Stack cracked wise to his entourage, loud enough for everyone to hear, “That guy’s not a very good golfer.”
Dan, a life-long Teamster and truck driver, didn’t miss a beat. He turned to Stack and announced, “You’re not a very good actor, but I don’t go around telling everyone.”
The next morning, Dad and Uncle Dan left their room, got to the elevator, and as the doors open they stepped in and noticed Sean Connery. Connery looks at Dan and says, “I know you. You’re the bloke who told off Stack yesterday.” About the time Dan is thinking of apologizing, Connery says, “I loved that. None of us can stand that ****.”
And then Connery follows up with, “We seem to be one short this morning for our foursome. Care to join us?”
And that’s how my uncle Dan got to play a round with Sean Connery.
pidgiepoo
Contributor
geez..can I post a joke here now?? 
Please do.
Uh, oh. I can't think of anything funny to say. 5 yard penalty.
Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk 2
Uh, oh. I can't think of anything funny to say. 5 yard penalty.
Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk 2
ScubaSteve
Wow.....what a DB
I heard a funny story the other day?
Let's re-elect Obama for President! He can't possibly hurt us anymore than he already has.
mike_s
Contributor
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened .
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God , USA ,
they decided to send it to President Obama.
Obama was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington , D.C. and that ******* Obama took $95.00 in taxes.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God , USA ,
they decided to send it to President Obama.
Obama was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington , D.C. and that ******* Obama took $95.00 in taxes.
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