ScubaJana,
I'll go out on a limb here and assume that you might have been taking some type of class that involved a naviation dive and a DM.
There is a technique for navigation dives in low visibility (I believe you mentioned a lake with low visibility?) which you and your buddy might find useful. It works well for dive teams running navigation courses in low visibility water, and will solve your issue of 'leading/following' and communications (but not your regulator, which has already been addressed by other board members).
The navigation dive is executed as a team, with one buddy focusing on maintaining a constant compass bearing and pace count (counting kick cycles to measure how far the team has traveled), while the second diver swims slightly above but even with the first. The second diver ensures that the buddy team maintains a constant depth, and can correct depth for the team if needed by light contact with the first diver. The second diver should always be close enough to reach down and grasp the tank valve of the first diver if needed. If entanglements or obstructions suddenly appear, the second diver can thereby correct or halt the forward progress of the diver monitoring the compass/the team.
In this manner the divers proceed neither one after the other, nor side by side, but one slightly above and to the right of the other. Communication by touch is available as needed.
As other members have already indicated, diving as a buddy team demands true commitment to team-oriented diving. It is not always easy. A good buddy may not always be available, as in training classes or while vacation boat diving, but a good buddy is always desireable.
Give the navigation course another try. See if this technique works for you. Try it in the pool first, if you can. Don't let this one incident scare you away.
Safe diving,
Doc