Weight and body image

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As a BBD (Big Beautiful Diver) AKA--FAT! I don't want any ones sympathy! I go to the gym everyday, walk 2 miles and work out with weights...and I am still FAT! I have a yearly physical and my B/P is well within normal limits, my EKG, normal...and all my blood work-ups are great!

After reading some of the posts on here, it is some of you that I feel sorry for. I am sorry you can not see a person for whom he/she is.

If you decided not to dive with me because I am FAT...then it is your lose, not mine!
 
MsParamedic:
As a BBD (Big Beautiful Diver) AKA--FAT! I don't want any ones sympathy! I go to the gym everyday, walk 2 miles and work out with weights...and I am still FAT! I have a yearly physical and my B/P is well within normal limits, my EKG, normal...and all my blood work-ups are great!

After reading some of the posts on here, it is some of you I feel sorry for. That you can not see a person for whom he/she is.

If you decided not to dive with me because I am FAT...then it is your lose, not mine!

I have to agree w/MsParamesic here.... I too am fat. I need to lose 70lbs. I exercise every day amd I was on WW but nothing works. I talked to my regular Dr. They ran a test. came back normal. I called my HMO and they won't help UNLESS I HAVE A LIFE THREATENING PROBLEM. So great, they won't help unless I have diabetes, high BP etc etc..... So now I see a different Dr. who is helping me get my body to function as it should. In the meanwhile, I'm still fat and will be for a while yet. I am healthy! And my ticker is just fine. If you don't wan to dive with me because I'm fat... fine ok!! I'll find someone else!
 
BacardiSpice
ADVERSARIAL not at all.

RE advertising you say " but its not working" why?. It is with some but not others maybe they don't want to do anything about it. It is still a free country ?.
Just this morning while getting ready in the bed room TV on a news station there were three different mentions about being overweight. So starts another day with it then they have to put up with remarks all day long and then go to bed after reading about it on SB. Cigarettes, as a smoker I see more warnings about what smoking do's to you than a non smoker will *every time I take a cig out of the pack*

"You won't see me on TV with a megaphone yelling at people"
This is just what has happened with this thread, People come on to talk diving have a friendly chat then along come the protocol police and push it in your face. Enough is enough, if you want to talk to a loved one then by all means do but if you keep going on at them, well they may not be loved ones for much longer.

Health care costs
There will always be people that use more than others in all aspects of life. What about the little old lady that drives about 1000 miles a year she still has to pay the same car tax as the one that drives 20.000 a year, the people that have more garbage to collect in a month than the little old lady has in a year.
I have been out of work a couple of times but have never collected 1c unemployment, I am sure there are other discrepancies but thats the system until there is a better one.

My answer to the problem "leave it to the professionals" as stated there is enough advertising about it all you have to do is go to your Dr and ask. I (and I am sure I could say we) do not need it pushed in our face by strangers. Now this brings up a couple of larger problems than this.

1/ Health care there are more and more people that don't have any coverage. The next time you go on vacation take a good look at the skycap that takes your bags the pay in the mid 80s was $1.50 PH no benefits then when you get there look at the waitress that is serving you your meal, same thing. And what about going on a crusade to get more help for the elderly did you know it costs $2000-$3000 a month for a decent dependent care facility....the government/insurance Co will not pay that amount. I think these people need and would welcome help but they are not as obvious or offensive as the fat person or smoker and I am not saying this to be rude but that is the way a lot of people look at them.
Yes we are going to have a problem in the future the population is rising at an alarming rate and of course everything else is going to increase as well.

2/ Society needs a lot of help with attitude and intolerance to people that don't see things there way. IF we had more consideration for others that would be a great start.
 
Kennedydive:
Boy I'm going to open my mouth and seriously get flamed on this one.

My wife is a very petite lady. Obese people are not the only ones that are faced with negative feedback. My wife is NOT one of these snotty sorority girls who make fun of all the "non-perfect" people but for some reason she gets this very dirty looks when she walks down the mall or street from individuals like they want to rip her head off. "That skinny fu&#ing B#tch"

As far as minding my own business. I have a dive buddy that is lets say a good 50lb overweight but could loose at least 70lb without hurting him any. I myself could afford to loose 20lb. My dive buddies and I told him he needs to loose weight if he wants to continue to dive deep with us. Why should we do this? Because I don't want to have to haul his body out of the water and then make a trip to his house, knock on his door, and tell his wife and two young children that he died while out with us diving. It happened to us once before "On fathers day no less" and I don't want to have to do it again. I'd rather open my mouth and ruffle a few feathers than keep my mouth shut and then wonder why no one said anything after the person has passed on.

Now that being said I do agree with the statements that skinny does not mean healthy. I also realize than not all larger people have control over their weight and that sometimes it is a medical reason for this. However there is a problem out there right now. You see more large children than ever. Why. It's not medical. It's because they sit in front of the TV watching it or playing video games instead of being outside and being active.

Jason

Your choice weather to dive with your buddy or not, his choice weather to lose the weight or not. It would not be right for you to keep telling him to lose weight just as it would not be right for him to insist that he dive with you at his present weight, you have given him the choice no need to say anything else unless he asks to dive with you again.
Sorry about the way your wife is treated as I have said in other posts non of there business fat or thin.
 
procyon:
I will grant you that but what about the concern of a loved one? I couldn't care less what some talking head on the tv says but if one of my family members were to say something it would certainly carry a lot of weight with me.

And what about over all impact? Bacardispice (love that name!) mentions her father's bypass, heart disease is becoming more & more prevalent & in fact is now the fastest rising cause of death in women in North America.

To compare sports related injuries to smoking or weight related health concerns is probably not an equal comparison. Most sport injuries do not require long term chronic care to the extent that things like emphysema and heart disease do. And even with my busted up knees I can still do most anything I want, which would be very difficult dragging an O2 tank around with me.

As a former smoker I empathize with you, I too enjoyed it. In fact a friend once told me that I was the last person she thought would quit because I enjoyed every cigarette so much. But in the end, like eveything else in life, I quit for me because it was what I wanted.

You can't make anyone be anything they don't want to be. But you also don't have to stand by silently while those you love harm themselves. And that's the kicker for me, if it's someone you love, who means that much too you, than it's no longer none of your business, it's very much your business.

is somewhat different than strangers/casual acquaintances making remarks but there is still a line. By all means have a talk with them and tell them about your concerns but if your advice is not wanted then let them know if they need help you are there then butt out. As I have said in another post they may not want to be a loved one if you persist, even thou you love them they are individuals with the freedom to make up there own minds . Unless of course you are female and live somewhere like Iraq.
 
Just to jump in with some observations. I really don't care what you look like or what you do in terms of your own health...there are a great many self-important blowhards out there judging and criticizing everyone who doesn't fit their "ideal" and they are going to be losers in life no matter what. But...and it's a big but...I also believe that Western society needs to take a serious look in the mirror and ask the hard questions...and be willing to look at the truth of the answers.
Why are we getting so fat?
Why is obesity among children skyrocketing?
Why do we continue to put crap into our bodies when we know there are better choices?
Why are portion sizes so massive comparied to ten, twenty or forty years ago...do we need all these extra calories?
Why do we emphasize a more or less sedentary lifestyle for our children (drive to school, little to no PE as grades advance, drive home from school, sit on the couch/computer playing video games watching TV...all while watching ads for crap food).
Why do we give in to the collective excuse "it's genetic/a health issue for me." Hey, someone very close to me also has a thyroid issue...but guess what...she realizes that this is an additional challenge, not an excuse to give-up on trying to maintain a healty weight and healthy lifestyle.

I stand-up and cheer when I see seriously obese individuals out jogging, taking aerobics classes, taking one step at a time in order to take control of their health.

Do I think that we all need to be "idealized"?...by no means. But I do believe that each of us does have the personal responsibility to take the very best care of our bodies as possible...irregardless of the handicaps we may be dealt. It is up to all of us as a community to take back our health from the corporations who put the crap on our supermarket shelves and fast food on every corner. It is up to us to support our friends and family to make positive choices to feel better. Nothing feels better than feeling good!

To the original poster. I sense a real hurt in the attitudes your GF has expressed. I would imagine that she has had a very, very hard time based on an extremely cruel world we live in...and unfortunately (not that I blame her), her response seems to have been one of incredible defensiveness and she has hardened to the point of extremism the other way...it pains me that she should chose the path which will only continue to cause her further damage and reinforce the negative loop she's entered.

It's really all about health. The full package. Physical health, mental health, spiritual health. Each one of them reinforces and guides the others.

My hope is that we as a society will stop pandering to the lowest common denominator on both ends of the spectrum. The "perfect" who criticize everyone else is not the answer...nor is response that it's just my genetics etc. There is a happy medium we as a socitey need to do more to reach and teach.

I really enjoyed the video "Body of Work" by Bill Philips...I think it's a very inspirational story and if you followed the lives of some of the people in the series afterwards you will see what a massive positive force a healthy lifestyle can take...irregardless of the cards you've been dealt.
 
cdiver2:
Ishie
Intresting. You state your mother is overweight and you are concerned but you dont push her, Why.

Because from personal experience, I can tell you that it doesn't work. All pushing someone (vs. being supportive for them and helping them) does is makes them feel like they are failing themselves AND someone else. The feeling of being a fat failure (again from personal experience) is extremely contraproductive to accomplishing anything. It leads to a shame spiral where often a person stops feeling they even deserve to be thin/healthy/whatever or may feel they're too much of a loser to every accomplish their goals. I love my mother whether she is fat or thin and don't want her to ever question whether I would love her "better" thinner.

She is aware of my concerns for her health and I do my best to make sure I am not contributing to the problem. I spend a lot of time with her and we enjoy doing some active things together (even walking around the Ren Faire is exercise). She has had quite a bit of success so far, but right now is at a holding point, which is still a vast improvement. Other than that, I don't see how pushing her would help.

Ishie
 
You are doing the right thing Ishie. Voice your concerns and then take an active role into that person’s life to help them without belittling them. If you go out walking with her than you are adding exercise her life and at the same time spending time with her that some of us who have lost loved ones missed out on that opportunity.
JK
 
cdiver2:
RE advertising you say " but its not working" why?. It is with some but not others maybe they don't want to do anything about it. It is still a free country ?
G'day Cdiver2!

Ayup - both your country and mine are still free (or relatively so). And I've said several times - and firmly believe - that the decision to do or not do anything about aspects of their health belongs firmly with the individual (unless it impacts on others, e.g. via a communicable disease or drinking and driving). That's why I've said - repeatedly - that it comes down to individual responsibility. It is ultimately up to individuals to look after their health and fitness, and for parents to look after their kids. That doesn't mean that other institutions don't have a role - education in schools, physical activity programs for kids, etc etc. But the bottom line is, no one should force you. There's a difference between encouragement, education and research and the alternative of coercion.

I don't know why advertising and setting national health targets for exercise and so on are not working -as I've said, I don't know the answers. That's one reason why I came to this thread...it's an issue that worries me, and I'd like to find a way of addressing it that doesn't involve fines or penalties for those that don't conform, but effectively reduces - or at least slows! - the increasing rates of obesity and related health issues. I think it is a very valid point that people don't appreciate being told what to do - I've said that I'd react negatively if anyone ordered me to either lose or gain weight. If I smoked or drank to excess, I might also react in a negative way.

I should note that current tactics are not working - not by a long shot. If the USA, Britain and Australia continue as they are now, the predictions for the year 2050 are nothing short of chilling. Look at the diabetes rate alone.

"You won't see me on TV with a megaphone yelling at people"
This is just what has happened with this thread, People come on to talk diving have a friendly chat then along come the protocol police and push it in your face. Enough is enough, if you want to talk to a loved one then by all means do but if you keep going on at them, well they may not be loved ones for much longer.
If you feel that people are trying to dictate to you how to live your life through this thread, then I can understand why you feel affronted by it. Please be assured that I am not trying to force my beliefs on you - I too come here to talk about diving. This thread, however, is in a specific area allocated 'Women's Views: Non Diving Related', and the original post asked some questions about weight and body image. I responded with my opinion because the issues raised touched upon some very deep fears I have for an obese friend. I also noted that I have no time for body-facists and those who would impose an unachievable ideal, or try to force people to look a certain way. This is my opinion only - not a manifesto for imposing taxes for every pound a person ways over their supposedly 'ideal' weight.

I know nothing about your health - I've never met you, and I don't know what your fitness level is. I wouldn't presume to tell you personally that you need to lose weight or exercise more (as I said in this thread, I don't even know how to approach one of my best friends with the support she needs). A very valid point that has been raised several times in this thread is that thinness does not necessarily mean fitness, nor does carrying extra weight mean that one is necessarily unfit. Clearly you engage in physical activity - you're a diver for starters. Whether your weight is affecting your health is something only you and your doctor (or anyone else you trust) can determine.

I have simply offered my opinion on what I believe is a major health issue facing us in general. I'm commenting on national trends and on individual cases that affect me personally - I am not pitying anyone, or telling a stranger that they are unfit and need to change their lifestyle. That is up to them. I am saying that several Western countries really need to take a good, hard look at where we're heading as a society, because it's going to cost us in more than just the hip pocket if we don't arrest national obesity trends.

Health care costs
There will always be people that use more than others in all aspects of life. What about the little old lady that drives about 1000 miles a year she still has to pay the same car tax as the one that drives 20.000 a year, the people that have more garbage to collect in a month than the little old lady has in a year.
I have been out of work a couple of times but have never collected 1c unemployment, I am sure there are other discrepancies but thats the system until there is a better one.
Yes, there are discrepencies. But we're looking at a problem of vast and very frightening proportions that is having an ever increasing impact on our health care resources. The World Bank has estimated the cost of obesity currently in the U.S. at 12 percent of the national health care budget. According to a report by the US Department of Health and Human Resources, direct and indirect costs related to obesity cost $99 billion dollars. By 2000, that figure had jumped to an estimated $117 billion dollars. If current trends continued, it has been estimated that by 2020 one in every five health care dollars for people aged 50-69 will be spent on obesity related medical problems. It has been estimated that the number of diabetes sufferers will increase 165% by the year 2050!

My answer to the problem "leave it to the professionals" as stated there is enough advertising about it all you have to do is go to your Dr and ask.
I'm all for drawing on professional advice - it's what I'm basing my views upon. However, you say there is 'enough advertising' - what is enough? And is 'advertising' the most effective approach? As I said before, this approach is not working. We need to try something else - and I think we should all be engaged in the discussion as to what else. I'm not offering an answer - I'm offering questions and discussion.

I agree with you that there are other health care and population problems, and I also abhor intolerance. Neither of these, however, negates the alarming implications of national obesity problems.
 
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