Fish_Whisperer
Contributor
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Actually, for Christmas, one year, I got a "Percussive Vascectomy" in the form of a Murray Beach Cruiser ten-speed bike. I'd outgrown my little BMX-style bicycle, so my parents bought me this tank-like monstrosity. The seat was very slippery and my legs were too short, so I ended up repeatedly slipping off the seat and banging my nacho on the crossbar. It happened so many times in the first week of having that bike, that I was pretty sure I would never be able to have children, and that I had succeeded in turning my prostate into something resembling a lemon that had been stomped on with golf cleats.
I later had a truly horrific crash on that bike that broke my front teeth, scraped the entire right side of my face off, dislocated my jaw, and lacerated the inside of my lower lip, requiring four hours in the ER, having bits of gravel and asphalt picked out, and 14 sutures.
I'd say that qualifies as the most awful Christmas present I've ever received. Thanks, mom and dad...
*sob*
I later had a truly horrific crash on that bike that broke my front teeth, scraped the entire right side of my face off, dislocated my jaw, and lacerated the inside of my lower lip, requiring four hours in the ER, having bits of gravel and asphalt picked out, and 14 sutures.
I'd say that qualifies as the most awful Christmas present I've ever received. Thanks, mom and dad...
*sob*