Here's a couple lists that someone sent me earlier this year.
You Know It's A Bad Day Diving When...
10. The divemaster gets seasick
9. The dive operator tells you that your C-Card is over its limit
8. You suddenly notice that the receipt for your air fill is from "A-1 Propane"
7. Your dive computer starts flashing the number for DAN
6. As you are preparing your entry, someone points at the water and says "Wow, look at the size of that thing!"
5. You look around and your buddy has disappeared... along with all of the fish
4. The divemaster gives you a speargun to take along "...just in case."
3. Your buddy offers you his regulator and asks "Do you want a hit?"
2. While hanging on the line for your safety stop, the boat passes you on the way down
1. "Does anyone here know CPR?"
You Know You've Been Diving Too Much When...
10. You can't go more than 5 minutes without using the word "viz" in a conversation
9. Your children are named Dacor and Mares
8. You think a three piece suit is a farmer john, shorty and hood
7. You bought a TiVo and learned how to use it when you suddenly realized that you were missing Sea Hunt reruns
6. Your watch costs more than your car
5. You have the number for DAN on speed dial
4. You have more pictures of fish than you do of your family
3. You take a two week vacation to Florida... and never get a tan
2. You try to pay for dinner with a C-Card
1. You miss your anniversary or Thanksgiving dinner because your buddy calls and says "Hey, the viz is over 100 feet!"
they will start everything with stuff related to diving
