You'll die if...

[SkuaSeptember]

If you have straps instead of springs on your fins.

 

[biles]

I also preach if you kick up the silt you'll die!

I think that "if you kick up the silt, I'll kill you" is different!!

How about you'll die if you can't drop your weight, you'll die if you drop your weight

 

[Matt S.]

This is slaying me.

Oh--

You'll die if someone else doesn't use 6" tall nitrox stickers.
You'll die if you don't adjust your neck seal properly.
You'll die if you hang vertically at a deco stop.

 

[Bryan]

If you don't ascend the same number of times you descend.

 

[Nomad]

You will die if you flush...

If you are interested in learning *how* to flush:
1. Make sure your wetsuit is not tucked inside your boots at the ankles
2. Make sure you are not wearing ankle weights
3. Get vertical - Suspend headfirst (upside-down) in the water
4. Tuck your chin slightly, and open the neck of your wetsuit wide
5. Purge your regulator, allowing the purge flow to enter your wetsuit through the open neck
6. As the flow of bubbles move up your body, they will force the "old" water up and out at your ankles
7. Return to a horizontal position and continue the dive, fresh as a (wet) daisy.

 

[caseybird]

You'll die if you go diving less than 1/2 half hour after eating lunch.
OK, my mom told me that.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

You'll die if you keep whapping that tank banger ...

... I'll see to it ... :no

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[1_T_Submariner]

You'll die if you keep whapping that tank banger ...

... I'll see to it ... :no

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

Utttttt ohhhh Diet Pepsi sprayed on screen and key board!

 

[Paco]

Will you die if you log pool dives?

 

[BabyDuck]

no, but you'll die on the surface when your back inflate bc or wing pushes your head underwater relentlessly and with malice aforethought.