Dive bloopers and practical jokes

[bigken462]

Was helping DM a class down at Vortex Springs with our fire department members getting certified. While they were at the bottom demonstrating skills, I was sure to give each and every diver a good rub on the head to show my encouragement and job well done sorta thing. Lil did they know that each time, I was rubbing a hand full of cheese whiz on their hoods. Its safe to say every single fish went to bed that night with a full belly. My close friend who was the instructor, as well as our fire chief nearly drowned laughing as hundreds upon hundreds of fish engulfed the students for their scuba snack.

Kenny

 

[Dzscubie]

Thanks to all, I have a post on what to do with an old luxfer tank and now I know.

I'm going to cut the bottom off the tank and put a spare air inside up at the top of the tank and see if my dive buddy (wife) will freak when I go to dive with a tank with no bottom.

 

[CDNScubaMoose]

a couple of years ago a buddy left his large safe-a-dive kit (plastic tool box) on a charter and I collected after he left. It was close to Christmas so I held onto it (apparently he tore apart his garage looking for it) until our Christmas party and gave it back to him all wrapped up. Inbetween I had added a few new items to his kit that I picked up at the local adult novelty store.

 

[Doc]

 

[lifes an ocean]

Wow, this is giving me some good ideas for later down the road I like the ink job on the bottom of the tank Man I need to have a little more fun when I dive.

 

[rollerboi]

Edit: After seeing this picture of a professional motorcycle racer's helmet, I started having weird ideas of how to decorate the lycra hood I picked up last night...

Oh man, I just about lost it when I saw that picture. I'm still on the verge of losing it, and this is a bad thing. I'm in my Criminal Law class, and the Judge is going over sex crimes. And I'm sitting here trying my damndest not to laugh.

 

[Calle Roo]

I now know what Im going to do on the bottom of all the rental tanks! Bwah ha ha

 

[Txfirefighter4305]

Bottom of the tank should read: "CAUTION, Methane propulsion unit in use"

 

[Charlie99]

I did a late afternoon dive in front of Scuba Club Cozumel. Shallow dive, not moving much, just hanging out watching some fish and octopus. I decide to hang around as it turns into a night dive. My eyes are well dark adapted, so after testing my light I put it away.

I see some lights coming towards me and I recognize a couple from the morning boat dives that were asking about what a Sgt. Major egg mass looks like. I'd been playing with a Sgt Major that was playing egg guard duty so I decided to show them.

So I stopped finning and let the current drift me down onto them. I'm not making any motion at all, and I guess I wasn't exhaling as I came into their view. Suddenly I see lights flashing back and forth, lots of arms and legs flailing and lots and lots of bubbles.

I found out the next day that they thought I was a corpse floating down on them.

Nowdays I always turn on my light before approaching other divers at night.

 

[Charlie99]

Kind of similar to above .... but with a boogie boarder in Maui.

I started a shore dive at White Rock in somewhat marginal surf conditions. When I went in at 9AM, the beach was deserted and nobody was in the water.

As I'm headed towards the exit around 10:30AM I notice that the surf is much higher. So high, in fact, that there are several boogie boarders sitting on their boards in about 10' of water, just outside the surf break.

My normal surf exit is to swim near the bottom until in only 3 to 4' of water. I don't want a boogie board giving me an unwanted haircut, so I decide to surface and ask the boogie boarders hold off catching any rides for the minute or so it takes me to pass through the surf.

As I slowly ascend, I reach out to steady myself on a guy's board. Suddenly, I'm holding onto an empty board and surfacing amid howls of laughter. It turns out the guy figured that I was a shark or something and with a big screech he jumped off his board. All his buddies thought it was hilarious, even if he didn't think so.

Charlie Allen