Funny, Stupid, Dangerous things done with Scuba

[MXGratefulDiver]

I'm thinking he'd have been a giant fart, with all the air blowing out around his neck.

Unfortunately, it still doesn't let enough air out to allow you to get your feet down ... and without fins, you so ain't getting any "traction" to put yourself upright in the water. About all you can do is lay on your back and move around using your arms ... and wait for someone to toss you a rope ... which they eventually did after they got tired of laughing ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[jar546]

I was observing a new class being certified in a quarry and the head instructor was the last to do a giant stride after he ensured all of the students had entered with their air on and equipment properly worn.

He hurried over to me, pulled his regulator out of his mouth and very calmly asked me to: "do me a favor and turn my air on please"

 

[W8less]

Shoulda known better. We would launch a zodiac at Carmel River Beach and go out past the surf line, leave our tanks in the zodiac, blow up our drysuits like sumo wrasslers and body surf with snorkles and fins. We would get trashed. It was hard to believe you could end up with sand in your crotch wearing a drysuit. Helmets would have been a good idea, but it was a blast.

 

[Aaron528]

True that.

The Copter is hardly a Soviet model.

You really mean to say "I dive corrected".

Absolutely!

 

[cloudflint]

I used to have a drysuit that had a "vanity zip" (a zip across the crotch area to pee out of). I had about 50-60 dives on the suit and was on a diving weekend when I was sitting on a slipway and a group of divers came in. I had to spend a few hours in the suit so I had opened the vanity zip to allow some fresh air in. Walking past me nearly all of them stopped and looked at me for a few seconds, then told me to remember to close my vanity zip before going in the water. I assured them that having had plenty of dives on the suit i wouldnt be silly enough to jump into the water with it open (im sure you can see where this is going by now ).

So I go out on the boat, get kitted up, do my buddy checks, jump in the water and start to descend. I only noticed something was wrong when I suddenly experienced 7 degree water straight to the crotch which rather made me jump. I didnt want to abort the dive and unfortunately i had 7mm neoprene gloves on so I couldn't get ahold of the zip to close it so I had to descend to about 10-15 meters before my gloves compressed enough to allow me to grab the zip and close it. Suffice to say i never did that again

 

[DennisW]

A few years ago (maybe 20?) I took a friend diving that had not been in the water for a couple of years. I took her in the pool for some skill checks and she did great. So, we went diving out of Jupiter the next weekend. We had a wonderful dive and after we surfaced and was waiting to board the boat holding onto the line, I noticed she was holding her regulator up out of the water. She looked at me and said, "Can I get this wet"? I almost choked to death, I was laughing so hard.
Of course, if you have not been diving for a couple of years, you should take a refresher course.

 

[kaerius]

Personally, the silliest thing I've done is probably during my IDC, when I forgot to tell my "DM" to turn my air back on before switching back to my reg when demonstrating air depletion... won't do that again. On the plus side, I did keep my calm and everyone got some laughs out of it.

Dumbest thing that I know someone I've met done:
When I was working in Cyprus, I heard the story about what happened last summer on a staff dive at the shop next door(well, other side of the beach). Four instructors decided to do a 50m dive, in rec gear, 12L steel tanks, they brought along spare tanks(also 12L), they left those at 30m... one guy aborted early and was fine, the other three failed to find their spare tanks, ran out of air and had to do emergency ascents from quite deep, with resulting chamber rides... one of them, the guy I met, ended up paralyzed from the waist down. Nice guy, around 20 years old, now in a wheelchair.

 

[oreocookie]

On a drift dive from a liveaboard, I saw 2 funny things, one of which I will call the "cowboy ditch and don". On that dive, we had the DM at the front of the group with the marker buoy line and a couple of the boat crew at the back making sure the group stayed together. My buddy and I were near the front of the group, so we saw the DM take off his BC, straddle the tank sorta like a mechanical bull then swing his reg around like a lasso. Shortly after putting his gear back on, one of the crew (another goof) swims up from behind and steals one the DM's fins. He then takes off his own fins and puts them on his hands, where he proceeds to "fly" while holding the DM's fin under his armpit.

 

[Jewls]

Funny

So I was on the last dive of my AOW, the deep dive, and for the first time experienced the effects of being narced. At 100' we stopped on a sandy bottom to read our SPG, Dive Computer and write down color differences. I had a small slate and my instructor carried a small white pencil. He pulled the pencil out of his pocket and handed it to me with the point of the pencil towards his body. When I looked at it, I thought to myself "How the hell did he get a cigarette down here and why is he handing it to me?" He turned the pencil around and I quickly realized what I was supposed to do.....DUH!:chuckle::chuckle:

 

[Sonic04GT]

Well the dumbest thing I did...I being a buddy and I haha

It was about 20ft, in a very slow moving river in TX. They had a tube chute with high flowing water that dumps into the river. Use to have blast riding down it in just our wetsuits. Well, diving the river, we thought we could just fin across this current really hard and fast. Well, we hit the current and got tossed around for about 10 seconds. I had to block myself from hitting rocks quite a few times, and my buddy's reg flew out of his mouth while he struggled to get right side up.