How do you plan a dive with a less experienced (nervous) instabuddy?

[Larrylifelines]

I wish I had some of you guys as buddies when I got abandoned by my buddy on a cruise/charter dive a few years ago. I was paired with one of the operator's staff, and I told him I needed extra time for equalizing on my first tank. But he descended with the rest of the group, and soon enough I was out of sight of everyone. I surfaced, and the boat wasn't even in sight. Eventually, it showed up. When I got back, I urged the cruise company not to use that dive operator anymore. Bottom line, there is no substitute for being comfortable with your buddy, insta- or otherwise.

 

[AdivingBel]

I wish I had some of you guys as buddies ...

Hey Larry...I'll dive with ya...I'm gonna be in Coz next June with 100+ of my closest friends...or at least they will be by the end of the week...I think there are some spots left...(shameless hijack)


http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/sc...board-invasion-2015-cozumel-package-deal.html

 

[Latitude 59]

Be kind to the instabuddy. You do not have to be a dive "professional" to be a class act on a dive boat. Having a positive attitude/demeanor, calmly reviewing each others gear and pre-dive planning, asking opened ended what if questions one can learn a lot about their comfort level or knowledge base in a hurry. Clearly communicating, and asking them to repeat back their understanding of the plan is critical to asses comprehension. (Particularly if English is not primary language). Do not use tons of dive jargon to discuss plan. Ask directly what their biggest fear is (you might discover it isn't seeing a shark but maybe leg cramps or air consumption, or separation). Knowing in advance what might trigger their anxiety into panic underwater can help you discuss appropriate interventions as well as signals that anxiety is increasing so you can take action immediately. Have them show you how to use their computer. It tells you instantly a whole lot if they haven't a clue, don't know what a ceiling, deco, ascent rate, etc. are and what to do with that information.

Kindness cannot be overemphasized! They may not be first in or last out, but everyone is there to have a great, safe dive. Take time with them for a weight check! It will help make them a better, safer diver. Someday they hopefully will pay it forward! You will BOTH have a much more enjoyable dive having done appropriate pre-planning and negated risks to the degree possible. Respect, it works both ways!

 

[Tony66]

Make them plan the dive. Go over all signals and contingencies and tell them if they deviate from it they are on their own. If there is something in their plan you don't like, say so. Every diver should be able to plan the dive they are going on including dives they are a student on. That's part of the learning process.

If they can't they should not be doing that dive and perhaps you should not be trusting them to do it with you. Let them know up front and in very clear terms that if they do not stick to the plan you agreed upon they are not to expect you to follow them.

There are too many with a sheep mentality that expect others to do everything for them and just follow along. What they do not realize is how dangerous this is for them to do. At least until the SHTF and then they see how leaving their safety to others might be the last thing they ever do.

I come here quite often, I don't post much but like to read and learn. Jim has posted quite a bit of good stuff however he's someone that I, as a newer diver wouldn't want as a buddy and here's why:

"Make them plan the dive" Rec. diving is supposed to be a fun TEAM sport. Planning needs to be take place together.
"tell them if they deviate from it they are on their own." Anyone that send the message that they are on their own, I don't want as a teammate.
"Let them know up front and in very clear terms that if they do not stick to the plan you agreed upon they are not to expect you to follow them." I would be thinking "I don't think I can trust this guy"
"There are too many with a sheep mentality that expect others to do everything for them and just follow along." Based on what you posted, it seems you want your dive buddy to be the sheep and follow you.

Jim, I know sometimes what we type does not come out the way we would say things in real life. I'm not looking for an online battle just saying that if you said what you typed, to me on a boat, a whole lot of red flags would be going off in my head. I would probably look for another buddy or threesome or not dive.

I've done my share of looking for buddies. Most times I'm the person with the least number of dives however I often find that I'm the one that plans with little more detail, I ask what my buddy expects of me and let them know what I expect from them. My number one thing it we dive together, next to each other. I ask if he/she wants the be the Quarter Back or the Line backer. I also let them know the hand signal not found in any of the books that me and my son use. It's the "what the ****" are you doing signal, stop, time to regroup. One of us is confused.

 

[FinnMom]

He may have stated this too undiplomatically for some folks, but I agree with Lapenta. I presumed that making the buddy plan the dive means have/allow/ask them to plan the dive, or in other words make (together) a plan primarily around instabudies ideas and desires. Not so terribly rude or dictatorial.

If you want to maintain your right to get creative mid-dive and deviate from our dive plan, for instance by suddenly deciding to go deeper, go inside somewhere, or just basically act/go/do significantly unlike the dive to which we had agreed, I would be happy to see you find another buddy.

From what you have written I don't think you actually want this (i.e. to maintain a right to be Mr. Surprises), but even in my few years of diving I have noticed that there really are those who do. These guys (almost always men) definitely take advantage of the idea that buddy will feel obligated to follow no matter what they do, so they do whatever they darn well please. I like the idea of this pre-emptive approach.

 

[george_austin]

I dive almost exclusively solo because most of the other divers are already paired up. My local boat captain and crew all know me and know I have a very simple solo dive plan. They don't kick when they see me setting up my backplate, no bc, double hose rig, Duck Feet fins and steel 72. 99% of the other divers, including the instructors, do however look at me like I have two heads. It's really fun when the conversations get started on the way out to Catalina.
If I am fortunate enough to go for a swim with another, diver, a newbie, I almost always let them plan the dive - it builds confidence and dive character. Plan your dive and dive your plan. I will only add during her or his briefing my experience at this site and certain things that may come up to alter the plan, unexpected currents, heavy kelp, deep over thataway, shallow over there, "the last time I was here" . . . . etc etc.

There are places I won't recommend to new divers - night diving in heavy kelp, offshore platforms with heavy current, shore dives with building surf. Also, if conditions look as if a new diver just won't have fun, ( strong currents, low vis ) - find something else to do. It's not worth getting wet and cold over. No big deal.

When I travel, almost always solo, I really prefer to dive alone depending on the location and conditions - just too many "vacay divers only" - or, ill get to know the DM and we'll dive "kind of" buddied up - especially if she's cute and single (just kidding) well, . . . .

I enjoy having really new divers in a group though, it adds to my enjoyment - I haven't been "new" in 40 years

 

[keller34]

I am not big on an instabuddy but don't have to worry about it. My 2 sons are my dive buddies. If one can't go because of work, the other one can and will. We know everything about what the other is doing. As far as having a new buddy, well I will just ask how many dives they have done and what kind. I will also say "not to be rude or anything, please don't bull**** me. It is not a contest." Most of the time I will get an honest answer then we can go from there.

I did that on a shore dive not to long ago. I could not get in touch with one of the other guys I met from here to go diving. Both my sons had work( odd but sometimes it happens). I found a guy that said he would go. I normally solo because it is only about 300yds out and 20-45ft deep. So we get to where we are and set up. I look at the surf and it is a little rougher than normal but nothing I haven't been in before. Not knowing what he was able to do I asked if it was ok with him to go in. Didn't matter to me to call it if he wanted, I have before and just spent time at the beach people watching.

He said he has dove way worse than this...Blah, Blah, Blah Childsplay, yadda yadda. I said ok and off we went. I wish I had someone film us. He got hit with a good size wave and that was it, he was rolling around and around with every wave. I kinda laughed because I know how it felt after getting nailed a few time as a newbie myself. I went back to shore and asked him if he wanted to update me on his skills and he came clean...this was his first shore dive...and salt dive.

I laughed and told him if you would have told me to begin with I could have helped you and you would not have had to endure the wrath of the surf...lol. I showed him how to enter and exit, how to handle a wave crashing you and not getting rolled. After that he was fine and we carried out the dive.

I guess the big thing here is always ask you paired up buddy and be firm but not rude when asking about what they have done. If I get the impression that someone is lying to me then I will tell them that if it turns out messed up They get to sit out the last dive as I will not go back in the water with them. I rather waste $50-$100 on just one crappy dive than risk my life with a crappy buddy that lied to me.

I always tell my buddy what I have and have not done before and how comfortable I am in the water.

 

[Frosty]

tony66- I think you are getting the wrong end of the stick with Jim.
Theres logic in what he's saying.
First of all --Having the less experienced diver plan the dive means the plan is one THEY are comfortable with.It also means that the less experienced diver has time to think through the dive,remember the plan AND it has the side effect of reducing their tension.
The on your own bit refers to going places they don't have the experience to get out from. basicly --hey i'm not diving to put my life at risk.