How good do you need to be?

[ScubaSteve]

For me, having the "Hero Image" as a carrot, helps me keep working on improving my skills, knowledge etc. As long as I realize it is a carrot and not something I will ever achieve in the real world - nor does it have to be , it (mostly) won't kill the fun I have with diving.

This way may work for you. I think it is also acceptable if you set that carrot as a level to which you CAN achieve so that you can feel a sense of accomplishment when you get there. Once achieved, you set the bar higher and work towards achieving the new goal. I think most people would eventually want to achieve their goals....maybe that is just me.

 

[DaleC]

Why does the "buddy" system suck? As far as I see it, some buddies suck, not the system as a whole.

Thanks Sas, you always make me laugh. I must be reading a different SB because every second thread seems to be some description of how the buddy system failed. Of course you can depend on your regular buddies because you try to please each other.
My point was, with the attitude that we only need to please ourselves, it's no wonder so many people experience problems with insta buddies. Because the prevalent mindset is focussed on oneself, not someone else.

Interesting reply. I'm a big fan of Ernest Shackleton as he was one tough SOB and an excellent leader. Amazing what he was able to accomplish with relatively crude gear compared to what is available today. If you strive to emulate him then your dive buddy should be in good company.

The "boss" was an interesting person. He utterly failed in his plan, is basically known for conducting a retreat and yet is regarded as perhaps the best and most admired expeditionary leader of our time. It was his character that made him heroic (if that's the word we want to use). Courage, fairness, a willingness to share the burden and an unwavering concern for his men. Perhaps one problem today is that some people choose their "heroes" based on the wrong criteria.

If one focusses on appreciating and trying to emulate others based on their character instead of their acheivements there isn't any real reason for not being able to live up to that expectation.

 

[Sas]

Thanks Sas, you always make me laugh. I must be reading a different SB because every second thread seems to be some description of how the buddy system failed. Of course you can depend on your regular buddies because you try to please each other.
My point was, with the attitude that we only need to please ourselves, it's no wonder so many people experience problems with insta buddies. Because the prevalent mindset is focussed on oneself, not someone else.

Glad to be of service I think we are reading different SBs as I went through a few forums and actually, every second thread was not, in fact, about how the buddy system has failed Though I'm just being silly - I understand your point. However, this to me does not equal a failure of the buddy system itself but perhaps how it is taught, if so many people are ignoring the system.

With pleasing people - well I dive with buddies who are generally pleased by the same things as me so I am not really diving to please them. So I don't see a problem with the attitute behind diving to please ones' self as a priority. I do dive with my buddy when he wants to get crayfish, even though I find it boring as hell sitting there watching his gauge when he is wedged under a rock for ages, but that is not what I saw as the point of the question. Obviously the dive is about his goals in those circumstances but I don't see that as me diving to "please" him as that implies that I care what his judgement of me is in those cirumstances. I guess I took the question more as "who do you dive to get approval from?" But perhaps that was just my interpretation and I have it wrong.

 

[DaleC]

No Sas, I think you got it right. That probably is the sentiment of the thread.

I am just a little wary of the current "cult of the individual". Yes it has some good points but it can easily lead to self centeredness IMO.

Of course, I'm married and have three kids so the idea of pleasing myself went out the window a long time ago

 

[HenrikBP]

This way may work for you. I think it is also acceptable if you set that carrot as a level to which you CAN achieve so that you can feel a sense of accomplishment when you get there. Once achieved, you set the bar higher and work towards achieving the new goal. I think most people would eventually want to achieve their goals....maybe that is just me.

I agree and think we're on the same page with this. But I'm a perfectionist control freak, which tends to make my end goals unrealistic, which in turn tends to take the fun out of many things if I'm not careful.

Your approach is much more sensible, and I think setting achievable, intermediary goals, lessens the "pressure" and allows the progress to be about the "journey" and not just the goal. Or to put it differently; makes diving *fun* rather than "work".

Henrik

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

This is perhaps the big question in this sport.... the question of standards.

Let's answer it by asking these questions:

1) who are you trying to please, and why?
2) what will it take to please them?

A few tips here. Who you are NOT trying to please, if you think this through, are:

- Other divers (except possibly your regular buddy)
- "Experts"
- Your instructor
- Your instructor's agency
- Any kind of Hero stereotype

So, who are YOU trying to please?

R..

Depends on the circumstance ...

When I'm teaching I need to please my agency ... by meeting their standards and "demonstration quality" requirements, and my students ... by setting a good example for them to emulate.

When I'm tech diving I need to please the other members of my team.

When I'm diving with my primary buddy I need to please her ... but first I have to figure out what it'll take to please her on that particular dive.

All other times, I have only to please myself ... and that's usually the most difficult requirement of all.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[down4fun]

This is perhaps the big question in this sport.... the question of standards.

Let's answer it by asking these questions:

1) who are you trying to please, and why?
2) what will it take to please them?

A few tips here. Who you are NOT trying to please, if you think this through, are:

- Other divers (except possibly your regular buddy)
- "Experts"
- Your instructor
- Your instructor's agency
- Any kind of Hero stereotype

So, who are YOU trying to please?

R..

When I am in a class I am trying to please my instructor because if they are pleased then I know I am learning and achieving the skills I need. I am a very competitive person by nature. And this drives me to be very self critical. I watch the divers around me who I think are skilled divers. I watch their grace and ease of movement under water, their trim and ability to hover motionless. And I strive to perform what I see. Are they truly as relaxed and perfect as I perceive? No, not all of them, but that is still the picture that I compare myself to.

I have goals in diving which include more training and a higher level of skills. It includes environments where little mistakes can become big mistakes quickly. Where putting the occasional finger down to stabilize yourself is unacceptable, where the accidental fin kick of a wreck could silt you out. Because of these goals I do aim for perfection. When I am inside a wreck and I feel a fin touch something I feel as if I were just playing the childhood game Operation and my fin touching the wall has set off the buzzer and red light that indicate I have just lost the game.

Is this kind of perfectionism healthy? Not always. Has it seeped into every area of my life? Yes. My boss frequently tells me to back off of myself, to not be so critical. She knows that if I do make a mistake she need not reprimand me as I have already done it to myself worse than she would have. Does it make me better at what I do? I like to think so. My harsh judgment of myself pushes me to be the best I can. To not sit back and accept mediocre achievement in sports or life.

So who am I trying to please in diving: myself, my instructors, the divers I respect and admire.