Need a boost a faith for the wife and diving

[jebsurf]

To start off I'm a experienced diver. As my wife has seen me in the sport over the years it has sparked her interest in it. So we signed her up for PADI basic open water. She did the book work and completed the class and her pool time so all that is left is her open water dives which is coming up this weekend. So to get her ready for the class I wanted to put her in a open water NO current environment in 5-10ft(we own our own boat).Now this thread is NOT to debate on if you think that is/was the right call or not and how I'm not an instructor but I take diving VARY serious and I will not debate if I'm knowledgable enough or not.But anyhoot she didn't do well at all. All of her training went right out the window as acted like everything was going to eat her and went into a semi panic which caused us to abort the dive.Before we went down We pre-planned our dive on the boat (even tho we were only doing 10ft :/) as she learned in her class and as if it was a 100ft dive and just talked about how we were just going to 10ft and chill and watch sealife. Anyway I'm feeling like some things just ain't for some people. I suck at basketball so I don't play it. I know how the dangerous of a panic diver and it really scares me she is going to do a open water dive with out 1 on 1 attention. If she starts to panic at 30ft I won't be there with her. And when I did my ow there was times the instructor wasn't even in sight.So which leaves me with what I should do next?
A: call her dive off until she gets more pool time(which it was said she did great in the class)
B: have a talk with the instructor and let them know what happened
C: tell her maybe diving isn't for her
D:hire the instructor for 1 on 1 time

The last thing I want is to explain to our 9 year old on how mommy had a panic attack and isn't with us anymore and how I should have been there watching her closely knowing what I know

---------- Post added May 20th, 2013 at 09:04 AM ----------

Ps. She has no prior history of panic attacks.

 

[dbulmer]

I'm not an instructor but 1:1 with an instructor sounds a good idea.
The instructor can be far more objective than you can and might find it easier to talk about diving to an instructor rather than you.
I don't mean to offend you in any way it's just with the people we love we non-instructors can sometimes be impatient and tougher on our loved ones than we need to be.

 

[jebsurf]

No, no it's good advice. Thank you for the input

 

[Linedog]

Perhaps starting at the shore and slowly working to depth?

 

[BVickery]

I 2nd dblumer's advice. See if you can hire the instructor for some 1:1 time with her. I actually did this to learn some new skills given new gear for OW cert dives and I feel it was the best money I ever spent for dive training.

 

[flots am]

A: call her dive off until she gets more pool time(which it was said she did great in the class)
B: have a talk with the instructor and let them know what happened
C: tell her maybe diving isn't for her
D:hire the instructor for 1 on 1 time

The last thing I want is to explain to our 9 year old on how mommy had a panic attack and isn't with us anymore and how I should have been there watching her closely knowing what I know

The <really> short answer is that panic comes from having unresolved stress. Unresolved stress is caused by not recognizing and dealing with it as it happens. In students this is generally because they don't recognize the stress or don't understand what to do about it.

There are any number of threads on SCUBABoard about this, but what your wife needs is a class that lasts as long as it takes for her to become proficient in all her skills and comfortable in the water, and able to perform all of the emergency skills calmly, whenever needed.

It's extremely likely that no matter how "nice" her instructor was, completion of the class was determined by simply observing that the student has performed various skills, and that the end of the class was determined by a date on a calendar, not how proficient she was.

Your wife needs solid skills and good training and lots of pool time, not just faith.

For comparison, a number of us teach classes that run 6 to 8 pool sessions (or more) and consider that a "good start" while there are tons of classes that take just a few days.

Your wife will be ready when the thought of doing her open water dives fills her with excitement, not dread, and when her instructor would happily let her go diving with his mom or child. Anything less than that is just pushing her out the door for the convenience of the shop/instructor.

The last thing I want is to explain to our 9 year old on how mommy had a panic attack and isn't with us anymore and how I should have been there watching her closely knowing what I know

Your wife needs to be competent enough in the water, that she can easily handle herself even if you're not there.

The actually takes some time and can't be rushed.

flots.

edit

it really scares me she is going to do a open water dive with out 1 on 1 attention

This is a giant red flag. The Open Water dives are a demonstration that the student is competent in open water. They are not additional training. She should be extremely comfortable and very competent before ever doing her OW dives. Sending her to OW without being ready is dangerous, and at the very least could turn her off to diving forever.

 

[TSandM]

How big was the transition? By that, I mean how much colder was the water, and how much worse was the viz, and how much more exposure protection and weight did she have to wear? Our students in Puget Sound go through an ENORMOUS transition, moving from warm, relatively clear water in the pool, to cold, murky, silty conditions in OW. It is often very stressful for them, but at least our students get to go in from shore, so they make a gradual transition. We have them lie down in water they can stand up in and just lie on the bottom and breathe for a while, until they can relax.

I can see how getting off a boat into limited visibility in unfamiliar conditions could be extremely stressful.

I would speak with her instructor and tell him what happened. He's going to scold you, as he ought, but it will give him a very good heads-up about what her issues are going to be.

 

[kelemvor]

I don't like giving bad news, but not everyone can do it. I've got a good lady friend who had a similar story. Did the classes, and lots of pool work and was very comfortable. Kind of freaked when it came time for the open water cert dives. That was two years ago and she hasn't been willing to try again.

Still, if additional pool time is available I would try and get her in the pool a lot more.

Do you have any lakes or quarries within a reasonable distance? If so, that may be a good intermediate step before doing the Atlantic again.

 

[oly5050user]

We all know that what you did by taking her off your boat was a bad idea in that it probably has undone whatever confidence she had in herself with the instructor. Going in the water, with a inexperienced diver as yourself that has less than 24 dives himself is a sure thing for failure. Even AFTER she is certified it can be a problem. That said IF she wishes to continue to learn to dive, at a minimum, hire a instructor for a bit of private pool time and the 4 ow dives.. Telling you now it may be expensive. Sometimes a spouse tries to take up diving for their other half, not for themselves..Its a great experience for your wife to dive with you,mine does, but many times it is a problem if she truly does not want to do it and the husband/boyfriend insists. Seen this issue many many times and it rarely ends nicely.

 

[herbdb]

I had a similar experience. My wife saw how much my son and I were having diving and wanted to give it a try. I hired a private instructor and she did fine on her pool dives. The night before her scheduled OW dives she literally did not sleep. She was a wreck without getting near a boat.

We talked it over and decided that diving is not for everyone and that forcing yourself to do something that terrifies you was a recipe for disaster. Like the OP says panic kills divers.

I hope your wife's fears can be overcome, but it is supposed to be fun not frightening.

Good Luck, I hope she works it out.