A risk worth taking ????

[scubajoh44]

Daddy hung up his fins. He canceled his appointment with the specialist. He said he would continue to go to the cardiologist but didn't need to "dive" specialist because he wasn't going diving anymore. I was shocked!!!!

I tried to get him to go with me on a dive trip on the 10th. He said no. I knew something was up then. He said his knees were the real reason. He didn't say too much else. I guess it was just time.

I'm relieved in a way but more sad. My first trip without him will be sad. I'm glad it will be with some Scubaboard members. Thanks all!

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Sorry to hear it, but your father seems to be doing what he feels is best for him at this juncture. Hopefully, he hasn't completely quit the idea of diving. In either case, I wish him the very best of vigorous health, joy, and quality of life. Good luck to you both.

-Frank

 

[Rick Inman]

I'm relieved in a way but more sad. My first trip without him will be sad. I'm glad it will be with some Scubaboard members. Thanks all!

In a way, he continues to dive through the legacy of you...

This is exactly as life should be.

 

[Split Fin]

I've read this whole thread, and I'm surprised about Dad's hasty decision to cancel the appt. with the specialist. It was a VERY good idea to go to the diving cardiologist WITH him. You were on the right track, for sure. But, I suspect CONTROL is a big issue here. He just may not want you to "hear" what the Dr. might have said.

In the last couple of years I have had to deal with aging parents-in-law. I found that they really needed "an advocate" to go into the Dr.'s appts. with them. They both failed to report significant symptoms, they "downplayed" their symptoms, they didn't understand exactly what the Dr. was saying, forgot stuff, "simplified" things by what they actually "thought" they heard, and reported to family that everything was OK. They split pills in half to save money. MIL took half a pill every other day, then TOLD the DR. that's what she's doing, and reported back that the Dr. said that was OK. Well, it wasn't "OK", but the Dr. couldn't convince her that what she was doing was not OK, so she continued to do exactly as she pleased....not what the Dr. ordered.

I find that as people age, and they are very unsophisticated with modern medicine, they just simply don't "hear" the importance or reasoning behind treatments. It may very well be that the cardiologist has recommended some tests or treatments that will be very effective in making your Dad better, but he may be "refusing" them, because he doesn't fully understand the benefits, or the risks of ignoring them. And, just for the record, and "older" husband and wife going together to the Dr. is not much better than either of them going alone.

Bottom line.....I FIRMLY believe that all people need someone to be an "active" participant in their health care, go to their appts. with them, know what meds they are on, know why they are taking them, and follow through to see that they take them in the proper dosage, on the proper schedule, etc. They can "remind" them about things the Dr. told them, but they never "heard. "Older people" very much includes people who are of full mental strength, but may be "stubborn" or very ill-informed about current medical issues. And, always, always, always have a family member present at all times a loved one is in the hospital. *stepping off my soap box, now*

 

[Puffer Fish]

I've read this whole thread, and I'm surprised about Dad's hasty decision to cancel the appt. with the specialist. It was a VERY good idea to go to the diving cardiologist WITH him. You were on the right track, for sure. But, I suspect CONTROL is a big issue here. He just may not want you to "hear" what the Dr. might have said.

In the last couple of years I have had to deal with aging parents-in-law. I found that they really needed "an advocate" to go into the Dr.'s appts. with them. They both failed to report significant symptoms, they "downplayed" their symptoms, they didn't understand exactly what the Dr. was saying, forgot stuff, "simplified" things by what they actually "thought" they heard, and reported to family that everything was OK. They split pills in half to save money. MIL took half a pill every other day, then TOLD the DR. that's what she's doing, and reported back that the Dr. said that was OK. Well, it wasn't "OK", but the Dr. couldn't convince her that what she was doing was not OK, so she continued to do exactly as she pleased....not what the Dr. ordered.

I find that as people age, and they are very unsophisticated with modern medicine, they just simply don't "hear" the importance or reasoning behind treatments. It may very well be that the cardiologist has recommended some tests or treatments that will be very effective in making your Dad better, but he may be "refusing" them, because he doesn't fully understand the benefits, or the risks of ignoring them. And, just for the record, and "older" husband and wife going together to the Dr. is not much better than either of them going alone.

Bottom line.....I FIRMLY believe that all people need someone to be an "active" participant in their health care, go to their appts. with them, know what meds they are on, know why they are taking them, and follow through to see that they take them in the proper dosage, on the proper schedule, etc. They can "remind" them about things the Dr. told them, but they never "heard. "Older people" very much includes people who are of full mental strength, but may be "stubborn" or very ill-informed about current medical issues. And, always, always, always have a family member present at all times a loved one is in the hospital. *stepping off my soap box, now*

Could not agree more

 

[scubajoh44]

I agree. I myself, have been to the doctor and didn't want to tell my family exactly what the doctor said. In daddy's case, I don't think this is the case. I think he'll take his meds ok, but quit diving just so that I wouldn't worry or put me in danger. If I'm guessing, he won't ever dive again. That's just how he is. All or nothing!

 

[Boatlawyer]

Your dad sounds like he needed some time to digest everything, and being what sounds like a spectacular father, realized the danger he would be putting YOU in as his buddy. It's one thing to not mind dying while diving yourself, but entirely another to worry about whether you'd kill your baby girl who was trying to help you.

You are truly blessed to have such a loving close family. And they sound blessed to have you.

My biggest regret in not learning to dive until I was 48 is that I was never able to dive with my dad. As I make my 50th birthday dive this weekend, I know he will be smiling down.

ETA: Having said all that, I learned to dive with my now 17 y/o daughter and look forward to many years of diving together.

 

[scubacoz22]

I don't know. This is really driving me crazy!!!!!! I did tell him that I didn't want to have to pull the mask off his face and him not be breathing. He's one of those stubborn men that just says, "nothing's going to happen, don't be stupid, I'm going diving."
I don't think I can stop him from diving, but maybe I can slow him down a little if I refuse to go. But then again, I don't want him going with someone that may not know his condition as well as me. At least I can keep an eye on him. AND... I SURE wouldn't want him to know that I halfway understand how he feels.
I just don't know!

Maybe if you go with him you can keep him in shallower water and it wont be as dangerous for him. Diving is not stressful if you are careful. To me diving is very relaxing.