Bullied under water

[dumpsterDiver]

using knives? Come on? Directly confronting him-- no way! This whole thing is ridiculous.

There is a very direct and appropriate response to his behavoir. Find a nice live shell, a good sized one is best. Place it inside your BC pocket when nobody is looking. Then, within the next day, carefully place this shell under the front seat of his car or within the glove box. Problem solved.. And never, ever admit to it.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

You can pick your friends, not your family. Just cause the are family does not mean they are friends. Being a friend is something that is earned. IMHO it sounds like it is just time to move on to another dive group sans other family members.

If at some point in time your sister asks why they have not seen you be perfectly clear and state again that while you have great appreciation and respect for the underwater world you have found her husband's actions objectionable and that you do not feel comfortable in social settings. I.e. acknowledge his view point but state your feelings. Then be done with it. Life is too short for family BS.

Actually in my mind he is not family. He's an in law that made himself an outlaw and so you can pick family. To her he is nothing. He's just the guy sleeping with her sister.

 

[iamjblevine]

So will someone be compiling all this into the Jackwagon Brother in Law Specialty Diver?

 

[MaxBottomtime]

I would just be nice about it and help your Brother-in-law develop his dive skills. I would begin with valve drills. Every time I dived with him I would get behind him and close his valve. I would them time him to see how long it takes him to figure out he has no air and either reach back for the valve or bolt for the surface. Make sure you swim far away after closing the valve. You will want to save buddy breathing drills for another dive.

 

[Avonthediver]

THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD DO! But at 15ft shut off the jack holes air and let him think about it for a bit.

 

[DandyDon]

So many people here want you to escalate this. Thankfully that's more boastful talking than what they would do, but regardless - bad suggestions.

You do not have to accept unacceptable behavior, but the immediate solution is to avoid the jerk totally, or at least not dive with him. If he bullies you elsewhere, avoid him as much as it takes.

I am guessing that your sis blocked you on FB because you told her about this thread, or more? If that's correct, that's just making it worse. I'd rather see you avoid problems than expand them.

 

[divin'dog]

Bullies only bully those they believe or know will not push back. The OP maybe the only one that fits that bill for him.

Thank you. I was just going to say that... This guy knows the OP and knows he can get away with it. They don't pick on everybody, they only pick on a certain few. If the OP is naturally passive or non-confrontational then she should find a navy seal buddy type who will give that guy the glare... of doom.

 

[FinnMom]

What an incredible jerk. Don't put up with it, he will only get worse and most especially terrorize someone who would never, ever have the nerve to defend themselves. I would also be extremely worried about my sister and anyone else unfortunate enough to be exposed to this guy someday (children?).

A lot of us can't help but wish the guy wouldcatch some painful payback, but we should all be adults and obligated to active the better judgement modules in our brain before acting. People like this aren't normal, they are violent and they might have wierd though processes and motivations we can't fathom. You never want to escalate with someone like that. Do what you know is right and advisable and leave the payback to karma.

If it's happens to be relavent, just a tiny aside:
Please remember that you have a right to your own opinion and decision on this matter. You don't have to justify yourself to your sister, or their diving group, or anyone else that might attempt to play down his actions and make you feel bad about avoiding the jerk from your life. No one else's poor judgement obligates you to be equally much a fool. If they want to argue please realize that you are not obligated to be a part of the conversation. Maybe some the sister will have nicer guy in her life because you dared to identify this jerk as substandard.

 

[Boingo]

Take him spearfishing... :arrow:

 

[Bratface]

Wow, I am sorry you had to be treated like that and embarrassed in front of your friends. There are lots of posts about what our imaginations would do to him, but in reality the best thing is to tell him how you feel and never dive with him again. I would have plenty to say to anybody who pulled at me underwater or yelled at me on the boat. Find some friendly folks to dive with who share your joy in discovering yellow head jaw fish poking up out of holes or seeing other creatures up close.