I find it amazing...

[H2Andy]

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.


It was very cold last winter.
How cold was it?
I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

****

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The
old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their
money. The gang was very happy to escape.

"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers!
We had $100 when we broke in!"

 

[dlndavid]

150!!!

And over 2000 views

 

[dlndavid]

Q: What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

 

[Firebrand]

These were JOKES? OOPS!!!!

 

[Jamdiver]

I think all this diving and hours of breathing compressed air under pressure, has permanently and irreversibly damaged our brains..

That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it..

 

[Firebrand]

Sounds good to me!

 

[underwaterangel]

Who needs an excuse

 

[hnladue]

I think all this diving and hours of breathing compressed air under pressure, has permanently and irreversibly damaged our brains..

That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it..

Now if I actually HAD a brain that might make sense....

If I only had a brain...

Brains BRAINS need brains!

 

[canuckdiver]

Now if I actually HAD a brain that might make sense....

If I only had a brain...

Brains BRAINS need brains!

ummm.......


Naw, too easy!

 

[H2Andy]

engineers are realy funny to make fun of...

You might be an engineer if . . .

. . . you have no life and can prove it mathematically.

. . . you chuckle whenever anyone says “centrifugal force.”

. . . you’ve actually ever used every single function on your graphing calculator.

. . . when you look in the mirror, you see an engineering major.

. . . you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

. . . you’ve calculated that the World Series actually diverges.

. . . you hesitate to look at something because you don’t want to break down its wave function.

. . . you have a pet named after a scientist.

. . . you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

. . . you can translate English into Binary.

. . . you can’t remember what’s behind the door in the science building which says "Exit.”

. . . you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there’s a wind-chill factor in the lab.

. . . you are completely addicted to caffeine.

. . . you avoid doing anything because you don’t want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.

. . . you consider any non-science course “easy.”

. . . when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

. . . the “fun” center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

. . . you’ll assume that a “horse” is a “sphere” in order to make the math easier.

. . . you know the glass is neither half full nor half empty; it's simply twice as big as it needs to be.

. . . you understood more than five of these indicators.