Is it my dive buddies or just me overreacting?

[highlandfarmwv]

I truly think you should get a tank banger, like someone else mentioned. You should not have to "go after" your buddies into deeper water. And they should not put you in the position to have to choose between "saving them" and "saving you". I know exactly how you feel, and that is why I am getting a pony tank for my permanent "buddy", even when I have a human one.

 

[shellig]

Thanks for all of the comments. It actually never occurred to me to stick to 90 feet even if my buddy didn't. Call it the caretaker in me but if they got into trouble I would never have forgiven myself..

This has been valuable for me as I have had this happen before. Several things have been said here that are really important. YOU are responsible for only your safety in this situation = be your own caretaker first! In my situation, I have kept the "buddy" in sight but stayed above and to the side (if possible) of them. If they have a problem, they could find you if necessary. If you are both that deep, it is more likely for one of you to have a problem especially if you are on nitrox.
The other thing someone said is the hard or soft depth. Most of the time when I have had a dive plan, we are flexible on the depth. If you have had this problem you can say I am not following you below XXX depth...and you can give your reasons. This makes it crystal clear.
Thanks kjunheart for bringing this up!

 

[kjunheart]

Sandy, you need to start diving with me again.

Without a doubt, Walter! Without a doubt! What does your schedule look like for this coming weekend?

 

[victor]

My backup timer has a max depth alarm.
With nitrox I set this as my depth with a PO2 of 1.6.
On an Air dive I set this as our agreed max depth + 10%.
When the alarm goes off I don't go any deeper.
If my buddy heads below that depth then they are on their own, I am not following them down.
I will explain this clearly in the pre-dive briefing.

 

[jeraldjcook]

I agree that its best to dive the same gas as your buddy so you both have the same MOD. One point that nobody has mentioned yet. On vacations, I'm a solo diver as well and usually get stuck with whoever on the boat. When I'm on vacation, I'm there to have a good time and enjoy diving. I don't get a chance to dive in the ocean all that often and when I do I don't want to be limited by my buddy. IF I was paired with someone who chose to dive EAN , and I chose to dive air, and their MOD (or just concern about diving deeper than X) prevented me from diving the profile I wanted, I wouldn't be too happy about it. If I wanted to dive to 120', and you want to stay above 90', I need to find a new buddy or dive by myself (properly equipped of course, although I wouldn't do 120' by myself). The key to enjoying vacation dives is to find a buddy with the same profile/mindset as you. Though with regular buddies at the quarry its a different story.

 

[Walter]

Without a doubt, Walter! Without a doubt! What does your schedule look like for this coming weekend?

Diving off Clearwater. The following weekend - Venice and a spring on vintage.

 

[kjunheart]

Diving off Clearwater. The following weekend - Venice and a spring on vintage.

Bummer! I have a "Go Play" pass for either Saturday or Sunday morning so Clearwater would be too far. Would have loved to dive with you again. I'll keep trying! :10:

 

[Melicertes]

The key to enjoying vacation dives is to find a buddy with the same profile/mindset as you.

As with all things in life, finding those people that think about anything specific the same way you do is the trick. I agree with jeraldjcook, and would like to say that I have yet to meet a DM who would not reassign you to another budy, if not him-/herself, if nobody else can fit your diving restrictions/needs. That of course does not mean those DM's do not exist, I just have not seen all that many around, ever, yet . I find most divers are too tightlipped for their own good and rather choose to keep ye ol' yap shut even though they may have legitimate concerns that should be voiced before launching on the dive.

Finding that buddy "with the same profile/mindset as you" means that as a responsible diver I have to blow the whistle hard and loud if something in the dive plan "dished out" before the dive does not suit my particular concerns. The lesson then perhaps is to not only open your yap underwater with that tank banger or underwater duck siren when your buddy unwittingly/accidentally/obliviously/ignorantly/idiotically (pick one for your scenario) deviates from the agreed dive plan, but also when the plan is being made, and certainly afterwards if he/she screwed up the plan - take an active role in planning the dive and don't just hop along for the ride.

I think kjunheart's problem is a difficult dilemma, one that many of us face often in many different variations, I just also think that the best solution is clear, direct, unsweetened communication pre, mid, and post dive.

To yap, or not to yap? That is the question.
My Answer: When in doubt, yap your fins of 'till you feel comfortable with all the logistics for every dive. Plan hard, dive easy

 

[Walter]

I'll keep trying! :10:

Super! I love diving with ya.

 

[trigfunctions]

One thing that might help is to signal your buddy to "level off" just prior to your planned depth. If your plan is to dive to 90', give them a level off signal around 85'. This may cause them to look at their depth gauge BEFORE you've exceeded your plan.

Great suggestion.