Married but single Diver what to do?

[munkispank]

lol- a womans perogative. But it is true. you are right not to try to persuade her if she has no interest in diving, but a hobby and the enthusiasm which comes from it's participants can be contagious.
In a similar situation, my husband wanted learn/go snowboarding- I had no interest, and the same "what will I do whilst he is boarding" but I went along, under no pressure- and it seemed like fun- so I did it, and lo and behold, I am a semi-convert. I would still much rather be diving, but at least if I play around in the snow for a week I can trade off with a dive holiday somewhere warm.

good luck- I am sure you will be able to work it all out.

 

[hvulin]

Whatever you do, don't forget about your priorities!
Your wife and your diving.... (notice the wife came before diving)

 

[lsudive]

I begged and pleaded with my husband since we began dating 9 years ago to get certified. It wasn't always a topic of conversation, but a few times a year we had a long discussion about it. He said, "okay. someday." but, he really wasn't interested and just hoped I'd leave him alone. Then we booked a cruise for September. I told him, in all seriousness, I was moving out if he didn't get certified before we left. He did, and he loved it. He is pursuing his Advanced, and wants to continue his education through dive master. He never had any interest at all, either, but he loved it once he tried it.

My point is: Don't give up that she might want to dive someday. I don't claim that the "get certified or I'm moving out" approach will work with everyone (it's a long story why it worked for me), but if y'all go on a few vacations together and you tell her how much you would have loved for her to be on the dive when you saw the ___________, or just talk about how peaceful it was, or whatever, she might become a little more flexible over time. If you stay at resorts where they offer resort dive courses, she might break down and do it once, just to see . In the meantime, anyway, I agree about taking vacations where there will be things for her to do. Also, join a dive club and go to some "dive islands" without her. Ask at your local dive shop about trips they have planned and what is available for non-divers.

 

[StSomewhere]

For years on vacation I played 18 holes of golf at first light about 3 days out of every week, after that is family time. Now that I'm diving I'm just substituting a morning boat dive for the morning golf. Simple.

FWIW, my wife doesn't mind if I play golf or go diving as long as she doesn't have to. I have the same agreement with her about craft fairs. If she's really not interested it probably isn't worth pressuring her. YMMV (but probably not).

 

[montyb]

I have been diving since the 60's, married 33 yrs. My wife got certified in 1989 and dove with me when we went to Hawaii for about 4 yrs. But for her it was always a chore. Hard to clear ears, sea sick and although she enjoyed it after she got to depth and was able to see the wide variety of life under water finally decided that it was just too much work. So for the past 10 years when we go to Hawaii I do two tank morning dives usually everyother day. She drops me off and then picks me up and then she is free to go sightseeing, shopping or she even enjoys going snorkeling. On the off diving days I usually accompany her snorkeling or traveling to the other side of the island. She's happy, I'm happy and thats what matters. Depending on the season we spend a lot of afternoon & evenings at the disappearing sands beach south of Kona, body surfing or just laying around watching the fabulous Kona sunsets.

montyb

 

[rpayne]

You all are a wealth of idea's and information and all your ideas we very helpful. Except for the one about getting a girlfriend that dive's. lol Wife didn't care for that one very much. We've been talking and I think we've set our sites on Belize. She's always wanted to see Mayan ruins. And the diving looks good. Ofcourse this is all future planning. I still have to get certified and save up money for the trip.
As some of you suggested yea she might come around there is one small bit of information I left out on the background. My wife's family has a large history of heart problems. She herself has a heart murrmer. So I don't know if she should go diving. If she ever wants to she's going to have to go get some test done that's for sure.. Safty First.


Thanks all
Robert

 

[Sue-ba]

From a wife's point of view, I wonder why a wife would feel the need to spend every minute with her husband. I know there are wives out there that seem to resent every fun thing her husband wants to do without her even though it is her fault it IS without her. I feel sorry for guys with this problem. Diving is something we do together but there are other activities hubby engages in that I have no desire to join in on or even if I do, I understand that he needs time to go it alone. Just as I have activities that I like to do without him.
I cant see that it would be a drawback to sleep in while hubby was off diving, except that I want to be out diving too, but if I didn't, I could control the TV remote, I could go shopping, I could take as long as I wanted to get ready etc.
I would even like to try taking a diving trip without him sometime. (I could log more dives than him. Ha ha As mentioned in a previous thread)

 

[Willar]

The Wife and I go to Jamaica together and she enjoys the quiet time while I'm out diving. We usually meet some nice people on vacation and she just hangs with them while I'm diving in the morning, or just suns on the beach. I do make sure we get some good activities she likes for the afternoon and I always take one day off in the middle of the week. Plus the "no-dive" morning when we fly out, we get 2-3 mornings together.

Find her a good beach and you should be fine. Otherwise, give her the credit card and tell her to go shopping. (Ouch!)

 

[webjr]

Try to find a spot with good diving close to shore . There's lots of great places on the Mayan Coast . You could dive in the morning , your wife could sleep in a little and you'ld be back at the hotel by the time she gets up . My wife and all our kids are divers , but we still plan allot of non-diving activities . If you do go to Mexico , take a day to see the ruins at ChiChen ItZa . If you're a nature nut like me , another great day trip is Isla Contoy ! As much as I love diving , I still always recommend taking time to see everything else these exotic destinations have to offer .

A word about local weekend fun diving .
As I said earlier , all my family dives , but none of them like freshwater (low vis) diving . I love to get wet every chance I get . My local dive shop has a standing offer to all our customers .
"We're at the lake every other weekend , so come join us for a fundive !"
See if any of your local shops have a policy like this .
I also worked very hard on moving up to divemaster as quick as I could . Once I made DM I started spending lots of weekends at the lake assisting instructors . There's nothing more fun than helping someone experience scuba for the first time !

 

[steve2281]

Take her on a group trip to Cozumel. Most the operators that run the big boats and cater to groups will let non-divers ride the boat for free. My wife was just like yours: no interest in diving. After one trip as a non-diver, seeing that other ladies diving, and snorkeling with me off the back of the boat, she said, "I think I can do this." She got certified the next spring and we went back to Coz and dove together.