As others have said, this is not only inappropriate, it is sexual assault and battery. His actions were NOT okay.
For those questioning why OP didn’t stop him: I’m a professor of social psychology. OP’s response is entirely normal for folks experiencing sexual harassment. That (s)he went back repeatedly is not surprising. Sexual predators target potential victims who they are in a positiob to manipulate and abuse. They deliberately take advantage of the fact that potential victims 1) see them as an authority figure, 2) are novices who legitimately don’t yet know the norms for the field, and 3) have time and money invested in the certification that they don’t want to lose.
Harassment is often ambiguous at first (even to the victim). What instructor did would be an instant “nope” from me - because there’s no ambiguity, because I know the PADI standards and how an OW course is taught. That’s not obvious to a new student.
For instance, consider: a cave DPV class is going to involve a lot of touching. And that is okay! But how do we know that? Because we are familiar with what is and isn’t normal (and necessary) for teaching certain skills. A new diver isn’t going to know that.
Second, none of us WANTS to believe we are being abused. We have paid time and money, we trusted this person, and so the first, second, third ambiguous instances are often written off or “explained away,” despite growing discomfort. As I tell my students, cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug.
Third, research shows that when you ask people to imagine being sexually harassed, most of them report they would be angry and would leave/confront the harasser etc. However, in a (super unethical!!!) study where they brought women into a job interview and sexually harassed them, that’s not what happened. Instead of being angry, the women afterwards reported being afraid. Almost none even pushed back against the harasser, and not a single one left the interview early. When asked why, they said they were afraid and just wanted to appease him and get out safely.
We think we will be angry and confront sexual harassers, but the data suggest that most (not all, but most of us) are far more likely to freeze and go along, out of fear.
Predators like this instructor know this. It’s WHY abuse of power is such a big deal, because it takes all the above and makes it even harder for the victim to recognize and confront the abuse. The instructor has both perceived and real power over the student, especially underwater, and especially when the instructor has deliberately used their knowledge to manipulate the student into being extra vulnerable (relying on their octo, no exposure protection, etc).
OP, I am so sorry this happened to you. Please report this instructor to PADI, and I hope you will consider leaving a review and/or sharing the name and location. This guy is still out there, doing this to other women, and will continue to get away with it as long as he is protected by his status as an instructor.
For those questioning why OP didn’t stop him: I’m a professor of social psychology. OP’s response is entirely normal for folks experiencing sexual harassment. That (s)he went back repeatedly is not surprising. Sexual predators target potential victims who they are in a positiob to manipulate and abuse. They deliberately take advantage of the fact that potential victims 1) see them as an authority figure, 2) are novices who legitimately don’t yet know the norms for the field, and 3) have time and money invested in the certification that they don’t want to lose.
Harassment is often ambiguous at first (even to the victim). What instructor did would be an instant “nope” from me - because there’s no ambiguity, because I know the PADI standards and how an OW course is taught. That’s not obvious to a new student.
For instance, consider: a cave DPV class is going to involve a lot of touching. And that is okay! But how do we know that? Because we are familiar with what is and isn’t normal (and necessary) for teaching certain skills. A new diver isn’t going to know that.
Second, none of us WANTS to believe we are being abused. We have paid time and money, we trusted this person, and so the first, second, third ambiguous instances are often written off or “explained away,” despite growing discomfort. As I tell my students, cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug.
Third, research shows that when you ask people to imagine being sexually harassed, most of them report they would be angry and would leave/confront the harasser etc. However, in a (super unethical!!!) study where they brought women into a job interview and sexually harassed them, that’s not what happened. Instead of being angry, the women afterwards reported being afraid. Almost none even pushed back against the harasser, and not a single one left the interview early. When asked why, they said they were afraid and just wanted to appease him and get out safely.
We think we will be angry and confront sexual harassers, but the data suggest that most (not all, but most of us) are far more likely to freeze and go along, out of fear.
Predators like this instructor know this. It’s WHY abuse of power is such a big deal, because it takes all the above and makes it even harder for the victim to recognize and confront the abuse. The instructor has both perceived and real power over the student, especially underwater, and especially when the instructor has deliberately used their knowledge to manipulate the student into being extra vulnerable (relying on their octo, no exposure protection, etc).
OP, I am so sorry this happened to you. Please report this instructor to PADI, and I hope you will consider leaving a review and/or sharing the name and location. This guy is still out there, doing this to other women, and will continue to get away with it as long as he is protected by his status as an instructor.
