The SCUBA Police and the Vintage Diver

[8dust]

What an :mooner:! I would have stuck him with my Vulcan.

I wonder what he would have done if he had seen this! My 10 year old last week.

Not to hijack...

but Infidelxx, what size tank have you found fit your Son well at this age?

Mine is 9 at the moment, and I have been collecting gear for him on the QT, as we get closer to that 10th birthday.

I had him in the neighbors pool a bunch of times this summer, wearing one of my extra 80's, because that's all I've got, but I have been thinking about picking up a used pony and rigging it up in a backpack for him. He's kinda on the small side, so I'd like to keep him as comfortable as possible.

Thanks

ps. OP, sorry about the run-in with Instructor Dusche. The cheese wiz sounds like a good trick I will need to remember for these Southeast fish!

 

[Paladin]

8dust,
The Cheez-Whiz only works at relatively shallow water because of the outside pressure. For deeper dives, I use those little jars of fish eggs that are used for fish bait. Just let a few out at a time and watch the critters go for 'em!

You might try a steel 72 for your kid. Not as big as an AL80 and they have great buoyancy characteristics.

 

[Slamfire]

I'm not sure about your local bylaws, but it is my understanding that scuba diving is, for the most part, a self-regulated activity throughout North America. You'd think that a diving professional would know that and would realize that the only thing his futile comments can accomplish is to set evidence of his insurmountable arbitrary asinineness.

On the other hand, hubris can work wonders and make people think their way is actually law -- "it is inconceivable it could be any other way. If there is, it must be illegal".

 

[SDAnderson]

How come stories like this only rarely include the name of the perp? If this report is accurate, this guy neither requires nor deserves protecting. If the story isn't accurate, well...

 

[Cave Diver]

How come stories like this only rarely include the name of the perp? If this report is accurate, this guy neither requires nor deserves protecting. If the story isn't accurate, well...

Because when it does include the name of the offending party, it's usually from someone making their first post that just found the board to bitch and try to retaliate for their perceived "wrong."

 

[thanksforallthefish]

Sorry Paladin954, are you using this forum to test out some material for your next stand up comedy gig??

No one could be such an idiot as that instructor was!!

 

[Paladin]

As has been pointed out many times on this board, we live in a society overrun by greedy lawyers just waiting for the slightest chance to file a lawsuit. I could've posted the name of the shop and, if the owner perceived a threat to his bottom line, opened myself up for a lawsuit. Posting the shop's name would have served no real purpose and might well open a can of worms I'd rather not deal with. Even if I should happen to eventually win the case, it would most likely only be after months in court and exorbitant legal fees that I cannot afford.

My purpose in posting this thread was not for retaliation but merely to relate the event. I was not harmed in any way and after 55 years on this planet and dealing with countless morons such as I met today, I've learned that vengeance is seldom the best course to take.

Now, if the police had actually become involved and I'd been hassled unfairly, it would be a different story.

As noted by a few others in response to this thread: Yes, in ignoring my dive flag, this idiot blatantly demonstrated his own hypocrisy. I could have pointed this out to him but what good would it have done? People like this are always right and no one can ever prove otherwise.

 

[Nemrod]

I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. I ran into the SCUBA Police this morning. My wife, my two sons and I went over to Grayson Lake in Kentucky. I took my 72, my Aquamaster, fins, (classic oval) mask, snorkel, capillary depth gauge and weight belt and we rented a pontoon boat for the day. We cruised around the lake for a while, then anchored in a little cove. After sticking up my dive flag, I put on my gear and dropped over the side with a can of Cheez-Whiz in my fist. The water was only about 20 feet deep and I settled to the bottom on my knees. I squirted a bit of cheez-Whiz and, in a few seconds, a crappie came along to gobble it up. In no time, I was surrounded by a cloud of fish of all species and sizes. My sons snorkeled on the surface and occasionally dropped down to say "Hi."

I heard another boat pull into the cove but I paid it no mind.

I stayed down until my J valve started honking at me. I reached back to pull the rod down and headed back to the boat. At the surface, I found another pontoon boat anchored next to mine. There was a dive flag flying from the awning and there were about a half dozen young people on board dressed in wet suits and just about every diving gadget and googaw you can imagine. One of them turned to look at me as I tread water wearing only tank, Aquamaster, weight belt, depth gauge, watch and snorkel gear. He looked as if he'd just seen the Loch Ness Monster itself. I popped my mask onto my forehead and shot him a cheerful "Hi!" I then climbed out of the water and onto my boat.

"Where is the rest of your gear?" he asked.

I shrugged and said "This is it. It's all I need."

He looked at he water and asked me where my dive buddy was. I patted the mouthpiece of my trusty Aquamaster and said "Right here." At this, he began to lecture me on my unsafe dive practices and told me I was in violation of safe diving rules. Unsafe antique regulator, no BC, no SPG, no computer, blah blah blah... I just shrugged again and waved him off. My son helped me out of my harness, then I took off the rest of my stuff.

Mister SCUBA Police then demanded that I hand over my C-card. I said "What?" He again demanded that I hand over my C-card.

"What for?" I asked.

"I'm yanking your certification. I'll send your card in to have it canceled for safety violations."

I just stared at him. "By whose authority?"

"Mine," he shot back. "I'm the instructor at #$*&^# Dive Shop."

I was starting to get a mite testy by this time. "That doesn't mean **** to me. You don't have the authority to pull anybody's card."

He leaned over the rail of his boat and glared at me. "Give me your ******* card!"

I laughed and said "I don't have one!"

He turned three shades of purple and gasped for air. "But...but... that's illegal! You can't dive like that!?

I smiled. "I just did."

"I'm gonna call the cops!"

I kept smiling at him. "Go right ahead. They could probably use a good laugh!" My son hauled in the anchor while I started the motor. We cruised slowly away, waving cheerfully at our new friends. We spent a couple of hours fishing at another cove before heading back to the dock.

I could have probably handled the situation with a bit more tact, but the kid got under my skin.

I have had similar run ins. I generally just laugh at them and offer them a soft drink or snack. Mostly it has occurred either when doing beach dives from public beaches or popular dive locations but a few times from my boat. They ask for my captains license and they are going to call the CG. OK.

I think a few times they saw my flag and figured it might be a good place to dive and where just trying to find a place to dive. I am amazed sometimes how many people don't have their own GPS and maps.

Most recently I had a life guard on a non guarded beach tell me I could not dive alone. I did anyways. I figured the cops would be there when I got out but who cares. But, when I got out the life guard dude was gone. :mooner:

N

 

[james croft]

Yeah, I have had the lifeguard hassle me in NC Outer Banks for solo diving. He told me he "should yank me."
I told him what he could yank...

 

[DennisW]

Just too funny. You can't make up stuff like this.