What would U do? I packed up...

[Cacia]

Oh, there are so many good men, but you have to free yourself up and go get one.

Be happy about the good stuff you had, ignore the bad stuff,

EXCELLENT point! Positive people know how to "manage" their memories. Don't feed the Beast!..take the positive and move along.---that does not happen in therapy, or the lawyer's office.

 

[raya]

I always follow my heart...however, in this case, although you love him and have done for a very long time, I can't see much love coming back in your direction.
When you live with someone, the days of going out and not coming back for 3 days are over! That's common sense.
Your his lover, not his mother. Don't waste anymore time on this guy, get out, stay out and enjoy life. Be happy, I would also book a different dive holiday to somewhere new, and exotic, let him go to where you've already been, you start on your new adventures...Good Luck.

 

[MeiLing]

from 1988 to 2007.... 19 years and you are left with no home, only enough clothes for a month, no family dog and you are nearly if not already 40yrs old (havent looked at your profile) looking back on all of this.... if it was me i would be PEEVED and wondering if i have wasted good years of my life!!!!!!!!

why did you decide that you were the one that had to leave? why not pack his bags and say "theres the door and it will still be there for you to walk thru if you want to share with me what the heck is going on so we can work on it together"

i wish you the best but you need to reclaim your own power as it seems to me that you put him first and woman to woman... you need to be your own best friend right now.

good luck... there is no easy answers but i hope you sort out the best outcome for yourself as possible

AMEN, honey!

Sorry, but if my significant other spent the night elsewhere and I didn't have a good explanation, there'd be hell to pay and I'd be happy to pack his bags for him!

You do deserve better!

 

[empressdiver]

It is heartbreaking to realize such a long-term relationship has disintegrated. However, the relationship is obviously not working for you. Instead of serenity and contentment, you are getting extreme anxiety and emotional turmoil.

Since he won't tell you what he is doing, you can't evaluate whether the problem justifies your emotional sacrifices..

He knows you are suffering from this distress, yet his secrecy is more important to him. The secrecy alone indicates that you would not accept his activity.

If you continue with the relationship by going on the trip, you prolong your own torture. If your emotional equilibrium is important to you, and you want to stop the torture, you have to make changes to protect yourself. You will have to start you own life, and the first step is not going on the trip.

I think there is an appropriate chinese saying that is applicable here: a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I think the counselling and some group therapy can help you start your journey. I wish you the best.

 

[Parysa]

The only thing I'd have done differently if it were my boyfriend is packed HIS bags (unless he owns the house). You should not have to leave your home because he cares too little about you to even give you a modicum of respect. If I spent three days worrying about my b/f without him answering the phone or even sending a text, and he wasn't in a coma, you can bet I'd be pissed. You deserve more respect than that.

 

[Turtle Gal]

Jersey,As far as the trip goes, Let him have both tickets, Im sure he can change your name on everything, YOU plan your own vacation to a sunny spot, take someone whom you can trust!! As far as living arrangments go, if it is your place, pack his bags set them outside, and change the locks on all the doors,change your phone number,If it is his place, pack your bags, take the dog, leave the keys to the house on the table,change your phone number, put note on door saying,"Ive taken my stuff,the dog,your keys are on table, Don't ever talk to me,don't try to see me, Leave me be." Get your own place and move on with life!! YOU deserve better.!! BE HAPPY, Turtle Gal

 

[mrjimboalaska]

A Man in the Womens Forum.....
Ladies, if you move into a mans house without at least a commitment to marriage, then it is just a "let's have fun for a while" arangement. I know, I've done it, and am not proud of it, and will warn my little girl about it someday. SO, so politically correct. It should be Husband, Wife, or Fiancee at the very least if you are living together, otherwise, anything goes.
You did the right thing by leaving, stay gone and enjoy your life. I waited till the right time, and almost too late, but my wife and kids I credit to saving my life, and they will be my life comitment.
Drop the shrink and live by this rule..."Don't accept things as they are, expect things to be the way they should".

 

[The Chairman]

---

---

A ScubaBoard Staff Message...

There is NO NEED to bash someone because of gender. Offending posts have either been deleted or edited

---

 

[Jim Ernst]

AMEN, honey!

Sorry, but if my significant other spent the night elsewhere and I didn't have a good explanation, there'd be hell to pay and I'd be happy to pack his bags for him!

You do deserve better!

Guys point of view........ I agree with Meiling!!

 

[Jim Ernst]

A Man in the Womens Forum.....
Ladies, if you move into a mans house without at least a commitment to marriage, then it is just a "let's have fun for a while" arangement. I know, I've done it, and am not proud of it, and will warn my little girl about it someday. SO, so politically correct. It should be Husband, Wife, or Fiancee at the very least if you are living together, otherwise, anything goes.

Sorry Jim........

I disagree with you on this part, not all of us MEN are that type or that way!!