Women at the gates of Heaven

Please register or login

Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

Benefits of registering include

  • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
  • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
  • You can make this box go away

Joining is quick and easy. Log in or Register now!

RiverPearl

Contributor
Messages
125
Reaction score
0
Location
South Carolina
# of dives
25 - 49
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.
She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began calling greetings to her 'Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you...'
When Saint Peter came by , the woman said to him, 'This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?'
'You have to spell a word,' Saint Peter told her.
'Which word?' the woman asked.
'Love'.
The woman correctly spelled 'Love' and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her
husband arrived 'I'm surprised to see you,' the woman said. 'How have you been?'
'Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died,' her husband told her 'I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.
And then I won the multi-state lottery.
I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion.
And my wife and I traveled all around the world.
We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today.
I fell and hit my head, and here I am.
What a bummer!
How do I get in?'
'You have to spell a word,' the woman told him.
'Which word?' her husband asked.
' Czechoslovakia .'

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry...
There will be Hell to pay later!
 
OK, here is a little diffrent one.

Q: What will the Army and the Navy find in Heaven?











Answer:

From the Halls of Montezuma,
To the shores of Tripoli;
We fight our country's battles
In the air, on land, and sea;
First to fight for right and freedom
And to keep our honor clean;
We are proud to claim the title
Of United States Marines.

Our flag's unfurled to every breeze
From dawn to setting sun;
We have fought in evÃÓy clime and place
Where we could take a gun;
In the snow of far-off Northern lands
And in sunny tropic scenes;
You will find us always on the job
The United States Marines.

Here's health to you and to our Corps
Which we are proud to serve;
In many a strife we've fought for life
And never lost our nerve;
If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines.
 
If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines.
Um....why? Why would an all-knowing all-powerful being need some puny humans to guard his home? And guard it from whom? The eternal and infernal forces of evil? Please.
 
The Marines are part of the Navy.:D
:popcorn:
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/swift/

Back
Top Bottom