yOU cOULD bE a rED-nECK iF.....
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bigmak
Contributor
you might be a redneck if.....
...you park your boat on the porch
...Your boat and dining room have matching chairs
...you park your boat on the porch
...Your boat and dining room have matching chairs
mike_s
Contributor
bigmak:
Ok.. Ok..... I admit it. I've done that before.
I used to keep my kayak in my living room before I had a garage to keep it in.
offroaddiver
Guest
You could be a redneck---
if you've ever started pointing fingers when reading redneck jokes.
If you have ever put a new toilet in and had to ask neighbor if you could dig a hole with their shovel.
if you ever removed duck tape and your house fell in on itself.
if your dive gear is used to take care of the stray dogs.
if you've ever started pointing fingers when reading redneck jokes.
If you have ever put a new toilet in and had to ask neighbor if you could dig a hole with their shovel.
if you ever removed duck tape and your house fell in on itself.
if your dive gear is used to take care of the stray dogs.
nitrox32
Guest
you go to family reunions to pick up chicks
My two cousins Jerry and Phil are the two worst rednecks ever. Jerry is a civil engineer and Phil works for him. They spent a long time working for the state and then realized that they could be the ones that the state contracts all the work out to.
Well the other day Jerry wanted to go diving and Phil said "Look at you, you dang ole redneck, hauling your tanks in your Beemer. Why would you ever haul your tanks in your Beemer when you have your Escalade?
Of course Phil is kind of an adult toehead and burns when he goes in the sun so he is a true redneck but he calls his brother one because he hauls tanks in his Beemer instead of his Escalade.
Go figure.
Well the other day Jerry wanted to go diving and Phil said "Look at you, you dang ole redneck, hauling your tanks in your Beemer. Why would you ever haul your tanks in your Beemer when you have your Escalade?
Of course Phil is kind of an adult toehead and burns when he goes in the sun so he is a true redneck but he calls his brother one because he hauls tanks in his Beemer instead of his Escalade.
Go figure.
fisherdvm
Contributor
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Your pajamas are camouflaged, and they doubled as your hunting clothes.
You shoot dinner from the kitchen window.
Life is not good, unless you can scrath 'em balls, drinking a cold beer, and watching WWF wrestling on the black and white TV.
Your wife looked like your first cousin, because she is!
Hunting season ends only when you are caught.
You go to church with a hunting tag on your best jacket.
Your favorite colours are camo and orange.
You heard that urine attracted bucks, so you've got 5 gallons saved in the garage.
You've got two guns in every corners of the house, why would you need a gun case?
Your son's first birthday present is a nerf sniper rifle and cross bow set.
Christmas is celebrated with a melody of duck and goose call to the sound of christmas carols.
Your living room has more carcasses than the Detroit city morgue.
You mounted the squirrel that annoyed you while deer hunting.
Best type of fishing is bottom fishing (I actually enjoy this).
Sucker season is the only time you wade in the water with a spear.
Nightcrawlers are found crawling in the crisper of your refrigerator (this actually happened).
Stinkbait is a pot of rotten fish for coon trapping, you throw in a frog just for the flavour.
You got 4 types of urine for your cologne (doe in heat, fox in heat, rut special, and your own concoction).
Your annual vacation is to Cabela and Bass Pro Shop.
You have life membership with the NRA.
The shooter's bible is your favorite potty read.
Your bumper sticker said "You ain't taking away my gun, until you pried my dead cold fingers from the trigger."
Your subscription to Guns & Ammo, Field and Stream, and Fur Fish and Game never runs out, as you are on the lifetime membership.
Two of your 5 coon hounds were killed by your own trap!
You voted for Bush, as them durn democrats are going to take away your guns.
Your two childs are named Hunter and Fisher.
Unfortunately, my brother, admits to at least half of these, and his sons are actually named Hunter and Fisher!
You shoot dinner from the kitchen window.
Life is not good, unless you can scrath 'em balls, drinking a cold beer, and watching WWF wrestling on the black and white TV.
Your wife looked like your first cousin, because she is!
Hunting season ends only when you are caught.
You go to church with a hunting tag on your best jacket.
Your favorite colours are camo and orange.
You heard that urine attracted bucks, so you've got 5 gallons saved in the garage.
You've got two guns in every corners of the house, why would you need a gun case?
Your son's first birthday present is a nerf sniper rifle and cross bow set.
Christmas is celebrated with a melody of duck and goose call to the sound of christmas carols.
Your living room has more carcasses than the Detroit city morgue.
You mounted the squirrel that annoyed you while deer hunting.
Best type of fishing is bottom fishing (I actually enjoy this).
Sucker season is the only time you wade in the water with a spear.
Nightcrawlers are found crawling in the crisper of your refrigerator (this actually happened).
Stinkbait is a pot of rotten fish for coon trapping, you throw in a frog just for the flavour.
You got 4 types of urine for your cologne (doe in heat, fox in heat, rut special, and your own concoction).
Your annual vacation is to Cabela and Bass Pro Shop.
You have life membership with the NRA.
The shooter's bible is your favorite potty read.
Your bumper sticker said "You ain't taking away my gun, until you pried my dead cold fingers from the trigger."
Your subscription to Guns & Ammo, Field and Stream, and Fur Fish and Game never runs out, as you are on the lifetime membership.
Two of your 5 coon hounds were killed by your own trap!
You voted for Bush, as them durn democrats are going to take away your guns.
Your two childs are named Hunter and Fisher.
Unfortunately, my brother, admits to at least half of these, and his sons are actually named Hunter and Fisher!
vablackwater
Contributor
yOU cOULD bE a rED-nECK iF.....
your preference between an EXO 26 versus an AGA is based on which is easier to work a dip
your preference between an EXO 26 versus an AGA is based on which is easier to work a dip
While in Gulfport, you're eating a Little Ray's softshell crab poboy with an Abita Blonde on draft and you drip sauce on your Gucci suit.
Or even worse, on your trip to Vienna you are enjoying a Sachertorte and Kaffe, after the Opera of course, and you forget to compliment the Confectionier.
Or even worse, on your trip to Vienna you are enjoying a Sachertorte and Kaffe, after the Opera of course, and you forget to compliment the Confectionier.
You aint from around here are ya boy?Tom Smedley:
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