You may be a redneck if you donate $10000 to Children's harbor and forget to send the receipt to your CPA.
yOU cOULD bE a rED-nECK iF.....
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irishsquid
Contributor
Tom Smedley:
Yo bedda be kehfull, yo givin bama a bad name. Whad are yo, a forner or yankee?
You might be a redneck if you live in an ancient mobile home way back in the woods but you're proud that you have scraped enough together by working double shifts to have your own place and do not live in public housing. You also might be a redneck if you send your children to school every day so they can speak with a proper southern accent rather than a series of colloquialisms.
You dive a place called Possum Kingdom.
You have a gun rack on your BC.
Your dive flag is "The Stars and Bars".
You have to clean the kudzu off your gear before you use it.
You get in a spittin' contest with your DI.
You have to remove the chaw before putting your regulator in your mouth.
When you spit in your mask it turns brown.
You think craw-dads are fresh-water lobsters.
Your boat has more than 6 beer cans rollin' around in the bottom.
Your snorkel is a piece of radiator hose off'n your '57 Chevy
You have your dive gear serviced after you pick it up from the pawn shop.
You have a spit cup on a D-ring on your vest.
You have more than two dive buddies named Junior or Bubba.
The buckle on your weight belt is silver with your name on it. )
You have to decide whether to take that AOW course or pay off the taxidermist. )
You can't decide which baseball hat to wear on the dive boat.
Your dive bag says Hefty on the side.
They won't let you on the dive boat in your boots.
You have a Confederate Battle Flag sticker on your tanks.
You were inspired to take up diving because Burt Reynolds looked so macho in that wetsuit in "Deliverance".
You have a gun rack on your BC.
Your dive flag is "The Stars and Bars".
You have to clean the kudzu off your gear before you use it.
You get in a spittin' contest with your DI.
You have to remove the chaw before putting your regulator in your mouth.
When you spit in your mask it turns brown.
You think craw-dads are fresh-water lobsters.
Your boat has more than 6 beer cans rollin' around in the bottom.
Your snorkel is a piece of radiator hose off'n your '57 Chevy
You have your dive gear serviced after you pick it up from the pawn shop.
You have a spit cup on a D-ring on your vest.
You have more than two dive buddies named Junior or Bubba.
The buckle on your weight belt is silver with your name on it. )
You have to decide whether to take that AOW course or pay off the taxidermist. )
You can't decide which baseball hat to wear on the dive boat.
Your dive bag says Hefty on the side.
They won't let you on the dive boat in your boots.
You have a Confederate Battle Flag sticker on your tanks.
You were inspired to take up diving because Burt Reynolds looked so macho in that wetsuit in "Deliverance".
mike_s
Contributor
Ok... You might be a Redneck if you've ever burried a school bus as a tornado shelter in the pasture beside your house...
(I actually took this picture about a month ago.... it was pretty funny to see)
(I actually took this picture about a month ago.... it was pretty funny to see)
You dive a place called Possum Kingdom.
You have a gun rack on your BC.
Your dive flag is "The Stars and Bars".
You have to clean the kudzu off your gear before you use it.
You get in a spittin' contest with your DI.
You have to remove the chaw before putting your regulator in your mouth.
When you spit in your mask it turns brown.
You think craw-dads are fresh-water lobsters.
Your boat has more than 6 beer cans rollin' around in the bottom.
Your snorkel is a piece of radiator hose off'n your '57 Chevy
You have your dive gear serviced after you pick it up from the pawn shop.
You have a spit cup on a D-ring on your vest.
You have more than two dive buddies named Junior or Bubba.
The buckle on your weight belt is silver with your name on it. )
You have to decide whether to take that AOW course or pay off the taxidermist. )
You can't decide which baseball hat to wear on the dive boat.
Your dive bag says Hefty on the side.
They won't let you on the dive boat in your boots.
You have a Confederate Battle Flag sticker on your tanks.
You were inspired to take up diving because Burt Reynolds looked so macho in that wetsuit in "Deliverance".
You have a gun rack on your BC.
Your dive flag is "The Stars and Bars".
You have to clean the kudzu off your gear before you use it.
You get in a spittin' contest with your DI.
You have to remove the chaw before putting your regulator in your mouth.
When you spit in your mask it turns brown.
You think craw-dads are fresh-water lobsters.
Your boat has more than 6 beer cans rollin' around in the bottom.
Your snorkel is a piece of radiator hose off'n your '57 Chevy
You have your dive gear serviced after you pick it up from the pawn shop.
You have a spit cup on a D-ring on your vest.
You have more than two dive buddies named Junior or Bubba.
The buckle on your weight belt is silver with your name on it. )
You have to decide whether to take that AOW course or pay off the taxidermist. )
You can't decide which baseball hat to wear on the dive boat.
Your dive bag says Hefty on the side.
They won't let you on the dive boat in your boots.
You have a Confederate Battle Flag sticker on your tanks.
You were inspired to take up diving because Burt Reynolds looked so macho in that wetsuit in "Deliverance".
Your dive skin has a tobacco can ring worn in the rear.
It takes you and all your dive buddies to show off a full set of teeth.
The zipper on your wetsuit doesn't have all it's teeth either.
You clean your boat with a leaf blower.
Your DM has to spit more than twice during a dive briefing.
You think a lobster is a big craw-dad and you try to suck the head.
You're wearing a camo jacket in the picture on your C-card.
You take soap when you go divin' figuring "hell, it's been a while". )
You have only one dive buddy and she's your mother, wife and sister
Your dive cylinder is a recycled (aluminum) beer keg
You refer to your two-cylinder set-up as a "double-wide"
You have to unhook your LP hose from your carburetor so you can put it back on your regulator.
Your dive computer has the "Deer Hunter" game loaded into it.
Talk about "integrated" weight systems makes you uncomfortable
If you have ever blown off engine parts with a SCUBA cylinder
You think that being neutral requires castration.
You've ever shot a possum with your speargun.
You think Roe v. Wade is something you might have to do if'n the dive boat quits
You think Dacor is them furnishin's in yer new doublewide
You call NASDS and ask about scuba racin'
You have a strap on your regulator because your only tooth won't hold it in place
You count your dive as your weekly shower.
If you always surface with at least 300 psi in your tank because you know that right rear tire is going to be flat again.
It takes you and all your dive buddies to show off a full set of teeth.
The zipper on your wetsuit doesn't have all it's teeth either.
You clean your boat with a leaf blower.
Your DM has to spit more than twice during a dive briefing.
You think a lobster is a big craw-dad and you try to suck the head.
You're wearing a camo jacket in the picture on your C-card.
You take soap when you go divin' figuring "hell, it's been a while". )
You have only one dive buddy and she's your mother, wife and sister
Your dive cylinder is a recycled (aluminum) beer keg
You refer to your two-cylinder set-up as a "double-wide"
You have to unhook your LP hose from your carburetor so you can put it back on your regulator.
Your dive computer has the "Deer Hunter" game loaded into it.
Talk about "integrated" weight systems makes you uncomfortable
If you have ever blown off engine parts with a SCUBA cylinder
You think that being neutral requires castration.
You've ever shot a possum with your speargun.
You think Roe v. Wade is something you might have to do if'n the dive boat quits
You think Dacor is them furnishin's in yer new doublewide
You call NASDS and ask about scuba racin'
You have a strap on your regulator because your only tooth won't hold it in place
You count your dive as your weekly shower.
If you always surface with at least 300 psi in your tank because you know that right rear tire is going to be flat again.
You wear black socks with your Birkenstocks.
You drive 55 MPH in the left lane in Florida.
You think Tabasco Sauce is hot.
You're scared when someone says hello on the street.
You hate the south but you want to move there for the weather.
You sweat when the weather reaches 75 degrees.
You drive 55 MPH in the left lane in Florida.
You think Tabasco Sauce is hot.
You're scared when someone says hello on the street.
You hate the south but you want to move there for the weather.
You sweat when the weather reaches 75 degrees.
redneck IF ,,, your parents were very ignorant, you grew up in a trailer the size of a Chevy Suburban, you got the impression there might be something more out there So you joined the ARMY, didnt know it at the time but you got to be the defender of the way of life for the NON Rednecks, but they did give me money for college so I could be instructed in Tree hugging and candle burning, of course a good shot ( yes with a REAL GUN ) ,got most of our food that way and could spot a fruit bearing tree a long ways off, more to come. Just havn't figured out how to make a million from the humerous aspect of yet like a couple of guys have.
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