Scuba Equipment Care and Maintenance is a good basic book that can help you to start being responsible for your own gear. The authors are Michael Farley and Charles Royer. Also taking an Equipment Specialty course would not be a bad idea. Find a shop that does one where they let you inspect a tank and valve, Watch a reg get rebuilt step by step, and how to do basic manintenance on your bc and other gear. Blindly trusting anyone is asking for trouble. Stuff happens. Your LDS sound like a pain but it's simple common sense to check hoses, second stages and bc mechanisms. This stuff is no harder than changing a tire or your own oil. It takes a few tools, a little time and effort, and a willingness to do things for yourself. You wouldn't trust anyone to set up your gear why would you not at least check it yourself. And if someone won't or can't set up their own stuff regardless of what the op says is SOP they might want to find another sport.