Corrupt-a-Wish

[Chavodel8en]

Your wish is granted, unfortunately it continues heating at the same rate doubling every 5 minutes.

I wish David was back on the forum.

Your wish is granted. You didn't specify which David, so its David Koresh, which means he's back from the dead, which means he really was the messiah, so you and everyone else on the planet (save the folks in his cult) are going to hell.



I wish Great White Sharks swam up to me on every dive and "handed" me $1,000 each and didn't bite me.

 

[WarrenZ]

Granted too bad you cant dive anymore.

I wish I could see the video from the divers perspective when that great white broke into his cage.

 

[Chavodel8en]

I wish I could see the video from the divers perspective when that great white broke into his cage.

Wonderful, I am starting a new cage diving business model, using living humans as chum. Thanks for volunteering, staffing that part is the hardest part of the business.



I wish I had an escort fish that acompanied me on every dive, shining a high-powered light at everything I wanted to look at.

 

[Storker]

I wish I had an escort fish that acompanied me on every dive, shining a high-powered light at everything I wanted to look at.

Your wish is granted. Congratulations, from now on all your calm, cool night dives are forever riddled with high-powered artificial lighting, and you'll never ever see the moon shining down through the surface or experience mareel (glittering bioluminesencent plankton). Also, all the nighttime critters are spooked by the light long before you get close enough to spot them. You give up night diving and go back to diving during daytime.

I wish I could afford - and have enough vacation days - for some serious diving vacations without using the time I usually spend with my wife and family.

 

[Chavodel8en]

I wish I could afford - and have enough vacation days - for some serious diving vacations without using the time I usually spend with my wife and family.

Abra-cadabara, your wish is granted. You are now magically advanced to 80 yrs old -- and frankly should have kept better care of yourself, as you are in a pretty decrepit state. But you have a great retirement fund, and all the time in the world to dive, since you are retired

The dive vacations cant get any more "serious", as it is difficult to safely dive given the poor state of your aged, decrepit body.


I wish I could communicate with sealife, from trivial issues ("what kind of attributes do you find really sexy in a mate" aka "damn look at the dorsal fin on that "hotty") to deep philosophical issues ("what is my purpose on this earth? is filtering plankton really my whole lot in life").

 

[Storker]

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, their conversation is fantastically boring. It has all to do with current speed, tailfin width, power-to-cross-section ratios and a fair bit about krill. Unfortunately, you'll discover, once you have learned sealife language, you quickly come to realize that the ocean is full of it all the whole time, just inane sealife chatter. There is no getting away with it.

I wish that someone "gets" my literary reference here.

 

[northernone]

Your reference is gotten and sadly goes unappreciated.

I wish a diver's log showed tendencies when meeting an insta buddy.

 

[Chavodel8en]

I wish a diver's log showed tendencies when meeting an insta buddy.

Presto-zappo!. And for every insta-buddy you meet, the dive log flashes "Tendency to end dives early" aka didnt know it was possible to suck down an 80 in ten minutes.


I wish all the fish would strike dramatic poses for me -- and I wish I had a boss underwater photo setup.

 

[Anthony Appleyard]

Granted; but meanwhile he has joined some sort of underwater diving patrol hard-squad and doesn't like sport divers.

I wish that the human version of the L-gulonolactone oxidase gene could work; then we would be able to make our own Vitamin C and we would never get scurvy on long voyages.

 

[Blasto]

Granted. Now that there's no scurvy to keep the pirates down, they rule the oceans, and few dare travel beyond their house reef - and only on the days a corvette passes by.

edit: Clicked post prematurely...

I wish the there was a system that did sidemount, doubles and singles perfectly, only weighed a couple pounds, and was so cheap and common that half the students got to learn in it.