"Good Buddy" or "Dive Natzi" ??????

[MXGratefulDiver]

First off, DiveMom ... it's not at all uncommon that husband and wife teams don't work out well. If your hubby doesn't want to dive in a way that you're comfortable with, then you need to find another dive buddy and tell your husband to go dive with like-minded friends.

Diving with a buddy you're not comfortable with is a great way to get hurt ... because you'll be so focused on your discomfort that you're likely to not notice little things that can lead to an accident.

So fix that problem right away. If he doesn't want to hear you, go dive with someone who does. And while you're at it, Christmas is coming up ... your hubby might benefit from a solo class and a pony bottle.

As to the DiveCon ... I agree with those who say he's an idiot. Don't let him anywhere close to your son ... kids are too impressionable, and you DON'T want your kid to develop that sort of attitude.

Finally, talk to your son's instructor. Ask him the same questions about buddy diving. If you get anywhere even close to the same kind of responses, get your kid out of that class and put him in one where they promote diving with a buddy.

Keep this in mind ... if you can't see your buddy ... or if you aren't comfortable diving with your buddy ... you don't HAVE a buddy. You are effectively solo diving.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Doubler]

This is just me but I noted you stated he was certified during a 2 day Resort course. I personally consider a Resort Course as an introduction to Scuba which should be followed by a full OW course if you find you enjoy the sport. I would find a "GOOD" instructor and have your husband buddy with your son for the OW course. Call the instructor and tell him about your concerns. A good instructor will know how to handle it.
I don't know if you read Undercurrent but there was an article in the last issue about a law suit. Long story short 2 different buddy teams did not follow protocol and 1 diver from each team has never been found. Your buddy doesn't need to be with in arms length but he should be within one breath. Question? Why aren't you following him if he is such a problem?

 

[DiveMom1]

I have not really put the kids in the middle here. The kids aren't really comfortable to comfront dad.. but aren't comfortable to dive with him either. Since these kids are all minors [and brought up to be respectful] they don't want to hurt or upset dad by not going diving with him. We ALL make a point of going over plans for our next dive [even a week or more in advance] and letting him hear what the planning is and should be. He just still thinks it's silly.

Our oldest would not hesitate for a heartbeat to jump into a dive with dad under the auspices of having fun. The younger ones were certified the same weekend my hubby tried to take the AOW class and shot up from 110' and laid on the beach on 02 for an hour. FRankly I didn't need to say anything to the kids, they came to me and asked if they could dive with me instead of dad. Of course they are more afraid something will happen to dad and they won't be able to handle it... I have both fears.

 

[adurso]

*SNIP*. He just still thinks it's silly.

*SNIP*

If he thinks it is all silly he should not be diving with kids, period. Depending on the age of your children all divs with kids are solo dives for the adult, the adult should be focused soley upon the kid(s), monitoring them. If the adult cannot accept this responsibility then the adult need not dive with kids.

Until the children are old enough and experienced enough to self rescue the adult must be there to assist if necessary. The enjoyment the adult experiences should derive from observing the child's wonder and delight in the environment, not haring off on their own....

 

[Froid]

Your buddy doesn't need to be with in arms length but he should be within one breath.

This says it all.

 

[DiveMom1]

This is just me but I noted you stated he was certified during a 2 day Resort course. I personally consider a Resort Course as an introduction to Scuba which should be followed by a full OW course if you find you enjoy the sport. I would find a "GOOD" instructor and have your husband buddy with your son for the OW course. Call the instructor and tell him about your concerns. A good instructor will know how to handle it.
I don't know if you read Undercurrent but there was an article in the last issue about a law suit. Long story short 2 different buddy teams did not follow protocol and 1 diver from each team has never been found. Your buddy doesn't need to be with in arms length but he should be within one breath. Question? Why aren't you following him if he is such a problem?

First off.. I have advised him to take a "full OW" course.. but since he is certified he believes it is a waste of time and money.

As far as following him.. I AM.. and it sucks. When it comes to endangering myself so he can be "Macho"... not going to happen. I have not been trained in wreck penetration or cave diving and will not follow him in. The last time he entered a cave, I babysat the enterance until I was too low on air to stay down... I surfaced to find him back on the boat after he discovered a backdoor. Sorry, I'm not following him in and won't let the kids either. If that makes me the bad buddy.. so be it!

 

[RooX]

hubby sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

 

[Jax]

The last time he entered a cave, I babysat the enterance until I was too low on air to stay down... I surfaced to find him back on the boat after he discovered a backdoor.

Woman, stop apologizing -- your husband is an idiot, and why the **** are you diving with him? I agree with the others - you are essentially diving solo. This is a good time to set the example for the kids and refuse to dive with an unsafe "buddy" who isn't a buddy!

His choices are no reason to put you and your children at risk.

 

[adurso]

First off.. I have advised him to take a "full OW" course.. but since he is certified he believes it is a waste of time and money.

As far as following him.. I AM.. and it sucks. When it comes to endangering myself so he can be "Macho"... not going to happen. I have not been trained in wreck penetration or cave diving and will not follow him in. The last time he entered a cave, I babysat the enterance until I was too low on air to stay down... I surfaced to find him back on the boat after he discovered a backdoor. Sorry, I'm not following him in and won't let the kids either. If that makes me the bad buddy.. so be it!

So he left you, alone, underwater and returned to the surface, without you, and he saw no problem with this?

You may wish to read the threads about the fellows who were recently convicted in Australia and BVI....

 

[BioLogic]

My usual dive buddy and I do all the things you expect of a buddy. However, I have buddied with people just out of OW, and not a very good OW class at that. I remember how it felt to see them having a buoyancy problem, rising too fast, and I'm struggling to get there in time to grab and slow them down ... I was within ten feet of them. It's *very* hard to get there as fast as a problem can happen.

So your husband is sure he's not going to be that guy. Ok. Is he equally sure he'll never have an inflator stick? That the boat crew will never close his tank as he steps off the boat? (They often check to see you're open; a bit of dyslexia and they turn it the wrong way) That a weight belt or pocket will never come off on him? That you or the kid he's diving with will never have such a problem?

I'm not against solo diving per se. I'm way against it for beginning divers not equipped and thoroughly trained to do it. I'm with my OW instructor -- don't be any farther away than you want to swim without air.