How do I get my fiancee interested in scuba??... help!!

[Adi]

dear all

I have been an avid Scuba enthusiast for many years. I am now engaged to be married in April to a lovely woman and love of my life. She, however, does not have any interest to try scuba diving at all. In the past years that we have known each other, I have always gone diving on my own. And even though this in itself is not a problem per say, im sure you can imagine that there is nothing more that I would love to share with her.

She has met many of my dive buddies, some which are fantastic instructors. She has indicated that the thought of scuba just does not appeal to her. She is a very athletic person that loves the outdoors... but no scuba???

I was wondering if there are any others that have been in this situation with their wife/partner that possibly have found a way to introduce scuba to her in an inviting way... or do I just need to accept this as the way its going to be?? *sigh*

any help would be greatly appreciated!

thanks
Adi

 

[BabyDuck]

just accept it. go out & do your own thing, have a standing offer to go snorkeling with her if you're on vacation, tell her once that you'd be thrilled if she ever decides to learn to scuba, and never ever push it.

 

[JahJahwarrior]

Show her high quality pictures and video of what is underwater.

My girlfriend seems so much more interested after seeing Becky Kagan's work and talking with Becky personally, it's not even funny!

 

[ScubaSam]

. or do I just need to accept this as the way its going to be?? *sigh*

any help would be greatly appreciated!

thanks
Adi

Most of my diving buddies have non-diving spouses and they are fine about not sharing the diving thing with their spouses.

You met her when she was a non-diver and love her as non-diver, so just accept that this is the way it is going to be. She may come around on her own and give diving a try so there is always hope. If you keep pushing it, she may grow to resent scuba and that is the last thing you want.

 

[Crush]

Same situation here. Sometimes non-diving "partners" try to appease the diving partner by trying to learn scuba. Many such partners become apprehensive - they don't really want to be underwater - they are there for you. Having read many accident reports I believe that an apprehensive diver is a danger to him/herself and their buddy. Don't dive with someone who does not dearly want to learn to dive for themselves.

My suggestion: if you like scuba and she does not, go to places where you can scuba while she can kayak. Shore-diving would be especially conducive to this as you can spend surface intervals together. Liveaboards would not work well.

 

[ONESPEED]

Diving isn't for everyone, if you try to pressure her into it she'll probably end up hating diving. Perhaps with time she'll grow an interest, if not, enjoy diving without her. Having different interests isn't necessarily a bad thing.

 

[vladimir]

What worked for me with my (ex-) wife: taking frequent vacations without her to exotic tropical destinations. She took a one-day resort course in Kauai on our honeymoon, and the surf-entry was a near-disaster. That squelched whatever genuine interest in diving she had for a couple of years. When she finally did express interest in diving again, I joined her in the class (at her request) and went through the check-out dives with her. She became a good diver.

What did not work with my (current) girlfriend: sending her to an instructor without personally vetting the class and instructor, and without joining her in the class. She had a panic attack when her ill-fitting BC tried to ascend without her on her first check-out dive, and I have pretty much resigned myself to having a snorkeling buddy and diving alone.

 

[BDSC]

When I got married a few years back I told my wife right up front I love to dive, was doing it before I met her, and will keep doing it after meeting her. She knew she was more than welcome to come along on my dive trips but if she didn't want to come, I was still taking my dive trips. I had no plans to change my vacation habits after we got married. So she started going with me and after a couple of trips where she was sitting around while we were all out diving she took a resort course in Roatan, loved it, and now she dives and turned out to be a great diver. Maybe something similar will/can happen for you.

But I still take at least one trip a year without her and she knows it. I enjoy her being with me but I also enjoy a trip where I only have to worry about me and no one else. Doing a trip with the guys is really hard to beat.

 

[ajduplessis]

Find a very good instructor and take her for a intro dive. If he is any good, she should get hooked. My wife hated confined space..... now a eager diver.

 

[Akimbo]

... She has indicated that the thought of scuba just does not appeal to her. She is a very athletic person that loves the outdoors... but no scuba??? Adi

Two thoughts. Are you really sure you want that? I know it sounds good but there are downsides. If yes, think baby steps. Honeymoon in the tropics and for crying out loud, don’t bring dive gear! Consider renting snorkeling gear, if you actually have the energy and she shows any interest. It is far better to carefully listen to what people say. Does no Scuba mean she does not like being in the ocean or she does not want to deal with all the gear? It is always better to learn Scuba after mastering freediving anyway.