Need a boost a faith for the wife and diving

[Herb-alaska]

have you considered that your presence might have contributed to her stress. I teach Drivers Ed and have had several adults come to take my class after they had a negative experience with a family member working with them. It has been wives after husbands have tried. It has nothing to do with the husbands ability to teach or the knowledge of the subject sometimes us husbands are not the best teachers when it comes to our family members. Sometimes it is the male issue sometimes it is the female. Many times it just helps to have a 3rd person do the teaching

Just a thought

 

[Superlyte27]

I know tons of instructors who have failed at teaching their spouse or their children to dive. I know my wife won't listen to a word I say when we're diving. I've got over 6000 hours underwater, she has about 12 hours underwater.

I fear the biggest mistake here was you taking her diving. Put her back in class, even if you start from scratch, and get the hell out of the way. Have no input, don't try to help, I wouldn't even show up to class with her. When class is done, and the checkout dives are done, ask how she felt and if she wants to do it again. If she does, GREAT!!!. If she doesn't, get her some golf clubs.

 

[Oldbear]

...paternalistic husband-diver...

A Paternalistic Husband-Diver...that is a new term for me, but unfortunately not a new occurrence in the dive community…and other communities too.

As an example I was an active participant in I coached my daughter in fast pitch softball until she was just over 16. In hind-sight I should have quit sooner, but oh so glad I did when I did. As her #1 fan in the bleachers, my daughter grew more those last few years before college than she could have with me as her coach. It is not that I am a bad coach, as I have coached many a young athlete on to the collegiate level. It was because of our daughter/father bond and how that affected my coaching and her playing.
Now that she has finished her collegiate softball career we both play on a softball team together and it could not be more fun…playing a game we both love.

BTW...she is also my favorite dive buddy

 

[jebsurf]

Thanks for everyone's help. But to answer the question it went like this " hey so how was your last day of classes?" Her: "I crushed my written test with a 98 and my instructor said I was one of if not the best one in the pool". So I thought it was in the bag. But I guess not. End of the day... Everything was all good and now we know. Gonna fix it with some more pool time before off to open water.

---------- Post added May 20th, 2013 at 05:26 PM ----------

And like I say..... Thanks for the ones that are really trying to help. I would quote ea. one but its been a long day at work and I'm sending from the phone.

 

[Oldbear]

Thanks for everyone's help. But to answer the question it went like this " hey so how was your last day of classes?" Her: "I crushed my written test with a 98 and my instructor said I was one of if not the best one in the pool". So I thought it was in the bag. But I guess not. End of the day... Everything was all good and now we know. Gonna fix it with some more pool time before off to open water.

---------- Post added May 20th, 2013 at 05:26 PM ----------

And like I say..... Thanks for the ones that are really trying to help. I would quote ea. one but its been a long day at work and I'm sending from the phone.

Jebsurf,

I am happy to hear that it is not her last dive experience...I just hope you let an instructor work with her in the pool and you watch from the side supportively

 

[Rich Keller]

To start off I'm a experienced diver. As my wife has seen me in the sport over the years it has sparked her interest in it. So we signed her up for PADI basic open water. She did the book work and completed the class and her pool time so all that is left is her open water dives which is coming up this weekend. So to get her ready for the class I wanted to put her in a open water NO current environment in 5-10ft(we own our own boat).Now this thread is NOT to debate on if you think that is/was the right call or not and how I'm not an instructor but I take diving VARY serious and I will not debate if I'm knowledgable enough or not.But anyhoot she didn't do well at all. All of her training went right out the window as acted like everything was going to eat her and went into a semi panic which caused us to abort the dive.Before we went down We pre-planned our dive on the boat (even tho we were only doing 10ft :/) as she learned in her class and as if it was a 100ft dive and just talked about how we were just going to 10ft and chill and watch sealife. Anyway I'm feeling like some things just ain't for some people. I suck at basketball so I don't play it. I know how the dangerous of a panic diver and it really scares me she is going to do a open water dive with out 1 on 1 attention. If she starts to panic at 30ft I won't be there with her. And when I did my ow there was times the instructor wasn't even in sight.So which leaves me with what I should do next?
A: call her dive off until she gets more pool time(which it was said she did great in the class)
B: have a talk with the instructor and let them know what happened
C: tell her maybe diving isn't for her
D:hire the instructor for 1 on 1 time

The last thing I want is to explain to our 9 year old on how mommy had a panic attack and isn't with us anymore and how I should have been there watching her closely knowing what I know

---------- Post added May 20th, 2013 at 09:04 AM ----------

Ps. She has no prior history of panic attacks.

You being an experienced diver dose not help her at all. There are so many things that you do now by reflex that you do not even have to think about them any more but they are still a big deal for her. You did not mention how much vis you had but that could be making a bigger impact then you think. I would talk to the instructor about her reaction and also see if you can go along as her buddy on her check out dive.

 

[jebsurf]

You being an experienced diver dose not help her at all. There are so many things that you do now by reflex that you do not even have to think about them any more but they are still a big deal for her. You did not mention how much vis you had but that could be making a bigger impact then you think. I would talk to the instructor about her reaction and also see if you can go along as her buddy on her check out dive.

You are 100% correct. And for vis.... 5-8ft tops. That's normal for this area. I know that could have played a huge roll.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

I try to never tell anyone they are the best in the class. Good yes. But best? No unless it's a private class. I have seen too many instructors go overboard with telling OW divers not out of the pool that they'd make a good DM!

I would take your wife to her OW dives if she could buddy breathe without a mask, do all basic skills neutral and horiozontal, drop her gear in the deep end, surface, then dive back down to retrieve it. She would also need to be capable of bringing me to the surface from the bottom of the pool, support me at the surface for two minutes, and rescue a panicking diver. And if diving locally we'd need to do a few blacked out mask drills, If she could do that she'd be ready for OW. Until then. No.

 

[kelemvor]

I know how that conversation would end if I was the instructor. You'd be out the cost of a dive class, and your wife would have nothing to show for having done any of the course to that point, since we do specifically talk in the classroom about what a diving license allows one to do. She might just start 'training' divers herself right after she gets her license too. She does have a boat after all.

I thought it was a certification rather than a license; which except in the case of GUE is irrevocable?

 

[flots am]

Was she clearly not ready to take her first dive with a person who was NOT an instructor, or was she not ready to follow the course?

It doesn't matter. Open Water Dives are verification of skills already learned, not additional training. If she wasn't ready for a 10' dive with her husband, doing no skills, she wasn't ready for a 15' dive with an instructor. An instructor is not a safety blanket. S/he is someone who teaches SCUBA diving and then verifies that the student's skills are sufficient.

In fact, the OW dive with an instructor is much more stressful because he's going to tell you to do scary things like take a perfectly good regulator out of your mouth and put water in your nice dry mask.

We have absolutely no indicators that the original instructor has been at fault here.

Sure we do. The instructor scheduled open water dives for someone who clearly wasn't yet ready. That's the instructor's fault.

flots.