dive_lover88
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wrong...i'm younger than you,but not as well trained as you.scubafire:
i got some qns for you...you'll be receiving some PM soon
Teenage diver quandary
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i got some qns for you...you'll be receiving some PM soon
Damselfish
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When talking about getting an adult to dive, most people will say don't push it and leave it up to the person to make a move. I think it should be the same way for a teen - we're talking diving here, not whether they want to go to school or not. Stop suggesting dives, arranging dives, calling him for heart to hearts about diving, or anything like that. Let him bring it up if he wants to do it. That should indicate his real level of interest in diving locally which may simply not be all that high right now. I know you're not "making" him dive, but it comes across like you're pushing this way too much even if it's mostly in a lot of subtle ways. You're thinking a lot about all the angles and strategies of getting him in the water and I'm sure that comes across. Seems like maybe he's telling you in many subtle and not so subtle ways that he doesn't want to? This is telling:
He told you what he doesn't like (which is perfectly legitimate, many people don't enjoy this even if you do), and you're concerned about the resulting return on gear investment and saying it will be a hard sell. Diving isn't cheap. If he's only going to dive occasionally you either have to decide it's too expensive for him to do, or accept that the price per dive will be higher whether you rent or buy gear that doesn't get used often. Pushing dives because you like to do this with him is an admirable but still not good enough reason. Pushing dives to reduce the cost per dive is certainly something best avoided.
He told you what he doesn't like (which is perfectly legitimate, many people don't enjoy this even if you do), and you're concerned about the resulting return on gear investment and saying it will be a hard sell. Diving isn't cheap. If he's only going to dive occasionally you either have to decide it's too expensive for him to do, or accept that the price per dive will be higher whether you rent or buy gear that doesn't get used often. Pushing dives because you like to do this with him is an admirable but still not good enough reason. Pushing dives to reduce the cost per dive is certainly something best avoided.
jmps
Guest
I am going through decisions much like this with my 15 YO daughter. I sure understand your desire to spend time diving with your son. It is the same for me.
For the short term issue of going on the coming dives. I would say that it is all about is your son safe to dive. If not then abort the paid for dive. You and he are the only one to make that call. From what you describe you could be overprotecting here. I had that a bit with my daughter and it made things more unsafe. I was checking too much. But not checking your SPG is an issue that could mean he shouldn't go. Be willing to cancel the dive on the boat if you feel it would be unsafe if you get that far.
In the longer term... It turned out that my daughter does not like to dive in the limited visibility below 25' in a lake or quarry. That is a disappointment for me but I have to accept that. I was hoping to dive more with her but it just isn't going to happen. I will take her at least twice a year to keep up her skills between trips but I will keep shallow with her or use a pool. I think you will have to accept this with your son as well at least for now. My safety issue with my daughter is that when she was in low visibility she headed to the surface as a reaction a bit too fast. Otherwise she is an excellent diver. I or an instructor have to work with her on this.
I did buy her equipment because my wife is going to do OW and she can use it as well (luckily the same size) otherwise I would NOT have bought the equipment. Renting makes more sense here (use a good op) perhaps except for a wetsuit unless money isn't an issue for you.
Well, those are my thoughts. I wish you luck in teenager survival.
John
For the short term issue of going on the coming dives. I would say that it is all about is your son safe to dive. If not then abort the paid for dive. You and he are the only one to make that call. From what you describe you could be overprotecting here. I had that a bit with my daughter and it made things more unsafe. I was checking too much. But not checking your SPG is an issue that could mean he shouldn't go. Be willing to cancel the dive on the boat if you feel it would be unsafe if you get that far.
In the longer term... It turned out that my daughter does not like to dive in the limited visibility below 25' in a lake or quarry. That is a disappointment for me but I have to accept that. I was hoping to dive more with her but it just isn't going to happen. I will take her at least twice a year to keep up her skills between trips but I will keep shallow with her or use a pool. I think you will have to accept this with your son as well at least for now. My safety issue with my daughter is that when she was in low visibility she headed to the surface as a reaction a bit too fast. Otherwise she is an excellent diver. I or an instructor have to work with her on this.
I did buy her equipment because my wife is going to do OW and she can use it as well (luckily the same size) otherwise I would NOT have bought the equipment. Renting makes more sense here (use a good op) perhaps except for a wetsuit unless money isn't an issue for you.
Well, those are my thoughts. I wish you luck in teenager survival.
John
ZzzKing
Contributor
isurus:
Please pack up all once played guitars and immediately send them to me. I'll pick up the shipping cost. Prefer Rickenbacker, Gibson, Fender, Martin, Taylor, Vox and Gretsch. Any once played tube amps will be appreciated also. Also, if you have any forrty year old guitars and tube amps that you are no longer using, those will get a good home as well.
I have a two year old baby girl in her first swimming lessons right now and can't wait for the time when I we discuss our next dive together.
isurus
Contributor
ZzzKing:
LMAO I am still intending to learn how to play. I jsut haven't got started yet. Maybe I should just head down to the nearest crossroads and learn the easy Robert Johnson way
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I agree and I don't want that either.
OK, he has no problem telling me NO, or what he likes or doesn't like to do; I didn't force him to take OW and I've never forced him to go on a dive. He's never said he doesn't want to dive, if I ask him if he wants to go, I usually get the "Ya, OK, Sure, Cool" or some other 1 word response; that's about all I get these days. There is no doubt in my mind, that if he didn't want to go, he'd simply say NO. After I've asked him once, time permitting, I usually let it resinate for a few days a week or whatever and just check again to make sure he hasn't changed his mind. I don't think he feels required to dive with me cuz he knows I dive all the time and would with or without him; in short he has plenty of "outs". I think he likes being a scuba diver; it's not something any or many of his friends/peers have done, gives him a "cool" factor and he loves the water.
An idea; I don't know how feasable since we live in AZ. I had planned on us taking AOW & Rescue at the end of the summer in AZ [same gear config as CA]; didn't have a chance at the beginning which would have been optimal and aleviated these concerns I'm sure.
I've been thinking about it; perhaps I'm just judging too heavily on 1 bad day; we all have em'. We did tons of shore diving in Maui with little to no moaning and groaning. It [memorial day weekend dive] was an early day; he was tired and the shore dives while conditions where optimal, still different, heavier wetsuit, more weight, longer walk, stairs, traffic, heat, etc. I think a nice boat dive in Catalina preceded by a super super solid pre dive briefing and dive planning [with suddle reminders slyly throw in], we could have a very fun day together; which is the point. Then formulate some kindof plan to keep his scuba independance and interest intact; perhaps a specialty of his choosing or AOW without me.
Garrett
fairybasslet
Contributor
I wanted to take my 16 yo to buy a reg for him last night but he'd rather hang out with his friends.
Well, my son is not a daredevil at all. I suppose for that I should be grateful. I know him well enough to know that he really only likes warm water at this point. I took him to Roatan in April 2005 and next month we're going to Bonaire. Simple, easy diving.
We did go to Key Largo together in 2004 and both of us got our AOW then. But I never took him with me to the FG or to NC because it is deep diving and I knew he wouldn't be comfortable. I also didn't take him with me to Thailand because he would b$$% and moan about the flight time. Geeze, he complained about to flight to Roatan. The good thing about Roatan was, I met a group of friends there and he hung out with them because they were cool and his mom is not. In Bonaire, we'll be with other friends of mine, one of whom has a 16 yo son, so my son will have someone to hang with besides his uncool mom.
So I think what I'm saying is, it's great to share the sport, but you have to create circumstances where he will be comfortable and also be able to get away from you.
As for gear, well, he has rented up until now, except for my late husband's bc and reg. But I think I'll buy him a skin (pretty cheap) and let him rent a wetsuit in Bonaire.
Well, my son is not a daredevil at all. I suppose for that I should be grateful. I know him well enough to know that he really only likes warm water at this point. I took him to Roatan in April 2005 and next month we're going to Bonaire. Simple, easy diving.
We did go to Key Largo together in 2004 and both of us got our AOW then. But I never took him with me to the FG or to NC because it is deep diving and I knew he wouldn't be comfortable. I also didn't take him with me to Thailand because he would b$$% and moan about the flight time. Geeze, he complained about to flight to Roatan. The good thing about Roatan was, I met a group of friends there and he hung out with them because they were cool and his mom is not. In Bonaire, we'll be with other friends of mine, one of whom has a 16 yo son, so my son will have someone to hang with besides his uncool mom.
So I think what I'm saying is, it's great to share the sport, but you have to create circumstances where he will be comfortable and also be able to get away from you.
As for gear, well, he has rented up until now, except for my late husband's bc and reg. But I think I'll buy him a skin (pretty cheap) and let him rent a wetsuit in Bonaire.
scubafire
Guest
fairybasslet:I wanted to take my 16 yo to buy a reg for him last night but he'd rather hang out with his friends.
.
I will pretend to be your son and you can buy me a new reg
dive_lover88
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i'm 18,can i pretend to be your son??
fairybasslet
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Yes to you both, but only if you promise to take care of me in my old age.
And as long as your college, braces and car insurance is paid for and I don't have to feed you.
And as long as your college, braces and car insurance is paid for and I don't have to feed you.
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