Bashing Each other, It is not necessary. I seem to have done it then I apologize.

[mempilot]

I've come to understand that some people just don't like me. They follow me into threads and wait for my post and then jump on me. I don't like this much, and it hurts my feelings. )

Actually, I know I'm a type 'A' and I rub people the wrong way sometimes. Oh, and I dive with some OMS gear. Some just like to debate, no matter what topic.

I ignore the a-holes. Well not really, I have fun debating with them. As for the ones that really matter, I listen to what they say and take to heart their wisdom. Sometimes it hurts, but so did the abuse I received from my AF instructors.

 

[MSilvia]

I haven't read the other threads you're referring to, but if you've only been diving actively since Sept (as it says in your profile), and you're still not confidant in your bouyancy skills, I can see where your decision to persue DM certification might worry some folks.

If you aren't in control of your own diving, how can you expect to help other divers?

 

[cobaltbabe]

I too have been slammed on another board but it was by people that I know and respect. I reacted and made a comment back. Upon thinking about it I realized that their experience and concern about my diving was first and formost in their minds. Now with that said, I have not read anything in regards to your diving experience. For someone to make evaluations of your diving skills without diving with you is just plain not right.

 

[cat]

It's also worth noting that what may seem rude to one person seems like the pinnacle of restraint to another. There are plenty of folks whose unfiltered but well intentioned opinions have gotten them banned from posting here.

Hear, hear. It's worth noting that this is a sport where stupidity can KILL you AND your buddies - I'd rather be thought rude than have to live with wondering whether or not my restraint had contributed to someone's death. If I'm doing something Darwinish, I certainly want to hear about it, even if it has to be pounded through my thick skull with the clue-by-four. I might sulk a little at first though

If your comment(s) were repeated to your child, mother, or family by a stranger, how would you like it?

If a well-meaning stranger noticed that a friend or relative was headed in a direction that could easily get them hurt or killed? And was rude to them so that it got their attention and they didn't then get hurt or killed? Hmm. Would sending flowers be appropriate or do most prefer chocolate?

My ego and "feelings" will recover MUCH more rapidly than my body will. If you are putting ego ahead of sense, well, there's words to describe that kind of behaviour.

 

[TCDiver1]

In my post about the weighting, I was told how horrible my grammar, spelling was, how inexperienced, how I have no reason to become a DM, how I was basically a foll and would look like an idiiot in front of anyone I dive with, how basically I shouldn't be diving and learning to get better by becoming a DM and Instructor someday because I am having a problem with bouyance that is new, and just things that had nothing to do with bouyance or weighting or using new equipment.

Well i read that thread and as i recall, there were more positive, helpful posts than rude ones.

Basically what you got with most of the others, is a small percentage of technical/computer types who generally aren't known for their ace communication skills. From my dealings with these types, i'm amazed there isn't more rudeness.

When dealing with these situations, think about what you tell your 6th graders to do when they are fighting and you probably have your answer here.

 

[headhunter]

I feel this poll is biased.

My choice doesn't exist here.

"Yes, and I appreciated the lesson"

Well... actually, "Yes, and I appreciated the lesson" seems to mean that "Yes, you thought someone was rude" but you ignored the rudeness because regardless of how the message was delivered, they were still right and you "appreciated the lesson."

My intent is not to put words in your mouth. It's just my paraphrase of what I THOUGHT you meant.

So, "Yes I have but I ingnored the rudeness" seems to fit.

By the way, I do agree with you. Some people just aren't diplomatic. It doesn't make what they have to say any less valuable. It just makes it more difficult for some people to hear what they are saying. I still appreciate the lesson.

I've always been a little "thick skinned". I also admit that in person, occasionally, "someone gets my goat". I try not to let it come out in writing though. Of course, it is easier to "count to ten" while you are writing something really mean and nasty to someone. As long as you never send the post, no one else knows what you were really thinking. It's a little harder to edit live conversation.

None of us are perfect and I'm sure everyone has been rude at sometime or another. It may have been intentional or unintentional. It may not have even been rude, but simply perceived as rude. I've noticed that most people will apologize once they realize that they were rude or perceived as such.

That's just my 2 psi. I've gone on too long already.

To slightly mis-quote a reporter from days gone by, "That's one poster's opinion. I welcome yours."

Christian

 

[Foo]

The only real rudeness that I have seen/experienced has been from those who have seem to have forgotten what it's like to be new. Most of the people here have been wonderful and informative, most are really very friendly. And the only one I've actually met in person is great, lots of fun to dive with- Texass. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience, the advice about growing a little thick skin will help you deal with those-less-than diplomatic folks. Good luck!
Foo

 

[saf_25]

[

It's also worth noting that what may seem rude to one person seems like the pinnacle of restraint to another. There are plenty of folks whose unfiltered but well intentioned opinions have gotten them banned from posting here.

I agree with all of what MSilvia said - I personally have not experienced any rude responses directed at me here, and where I have seen people give rude responses have often been in places where they started out trying to be polite and have been argued with or goaded out of their "control".

But, I quoted what I did above because I wanted to emphasize the restraint issue that was pointed out. I happened to have read the other post you referred to. After being a daily reader of this board for over a year now (and you can see I have a limited post count for that time, so I do a lot more observing than participating) I was actually struck by how much restraint the other thread contained. After seeing some heated discussions on this board, I can honestly say that I feel you were merely getting feedback, not rudeness - I've seen these same people give rude responses, and believe me, it wasn't in that thread.
What I find interesting is that this is the 3rd separate thread that I've read today where you posted about this rudeness that you felt you received. That tells me that you're obviously bothered by the responses you've gotten. I've also seen in all of those threads a number of people telling you that they felt that the responses were honest, not rude. My suggestion (and I know that I'm just one stranger to you, so take it as you want to) is that you might want to not read these threads tonight. Get away from this situation that's obviously bothering you, take some time to think about what the gist of the advice you received was, examine why you are getting so bothered by it (really, is the way a stranger on the internet treats you worth getting upset about?) and why others are not seeing the same thing you are, and then let it go a bit. If you write off the original thread, it will be an isolated incident. If you don't and keep bringing it up every time someone asks a question about bouyancy, it will eat you alive.

I hope that you take this in the constructive manner it's intended, but if you don't, it won't bother me either - that's your choice. It's not a judgement or anything against you, just my advice....

 

[miketsp]

In the light of your post, I reviewed the threads in which you participated and the posts you made.

Basically all the stress started 2 days ago when you raised your buoyancy problem and at the same time stated that you were halfway to DM.

H2Andy made a light suggestion that you might be rushing things in the middle of a post in which he gave constructive advice.
Mechdiver expressed the same concern, maybe a little colder but nothing aggressive.
You then received a series of posts H2Andy, Melfox26, jhelmuth etc which encouraged you and gave you advice but you went more and more on the defensive.
The first post that could be considered anywhere near personal was #50 in the thread about your grammar & spelling with the relevant remark that anybody that teaches needs to fill in evaluations, reports etc & this is fact. It was not expressed as an attack even though later you replied as if it was.

Now one thing worried me up to here. A good part of your self-evaluation is based on the opinion of your instructor whom you describe as "awesome". Lets just take 2 items here.

You went through all your pool dives in an hour and half but after 30 dives (or is it 45 according to another post) you still have buoyancy problems?
Sorry but it sounds like he skimped on your training. When my wife started she also shot through her formal training (35 years snorkelling experience helped) but then she spent a long time in the pool (with the instructor) working on buoyancy & finning style which is not a class requirement.

And then you said your AOW class dives were done in hard(sic) current and then he left newly certified divers in your care? Legally he was sticking his neck way out.

Sorry but what you posted does not inspire confidence.

On the whole the rest of the thread was extremely constructive but it did come over that you have a strong personality but not much tact and this for a leader/DM/instructor is something that needs dealing with.

On the thread "making out under water", you then expressed a very strong opinion "divers do it deeper came out for a reason because someone had their mind in gutter" on what for most divers is really a joke topic - and this sort of straight-laced attitude will not endear you to the majority of your future students.

On the thread about ear clearing you made a couple of posts. The one about AFRIN decongestant I personally consider should have had a warning about the risk of the decongestant effect wearing off at depth and causing a reverse trauma. Just because your doc recommended it for you does not mean it is appropriate for everybody. If you had a little more experience you would not have made the post in the way you did.

You then complained on the Choice, Challenges and Egos thread that you had been attacked on the buoyancy thread. But this thread was about exactly the opposite of what you are doing - rushing through the certification levels! Nobody commented or answered your post because it was out of context.

Then again you complained on the "Can't do proper Safety Stop & Weighting questions" talking about "nasty" comments. Sorry, I can't agree with you; some may have been heavy handed but almost all were constructive - just not what you wanted to hear, certainly not "nasty". Just about everybody that gave you advice also gave you support to carry on.

There are many experienced people on this board who really get worried about low training standards and inexperienced DMs/Instructors. Don't take their worries personally but filter though to the advice.

Also keep reading the threads. I got flamed on more than one occasion because I expressed myself in terminology different from that normally used or touched on a sensitive subject. Keep reading to see what are the other sensitive issues. One you already know.

From what you have posted, you have the determination, you'll make it, but work on the interpersonal relational aspects a little. OK?

 

[Natasha]

Although we try had to read every post it just can't be done.
Please direct any rudeness to us A.S.A.P.

And welcome to ScubaBoard. It's really great place with tons of wonderful people.