I thought I was the only one. Sent this e-mail to a friend last week.
They are very fond of me at the dive shop, apparently I am good for comic relief. They especially enjoyed selling me a 7mil wet suit. Several customers stayed for the show too.
It is black and 7mil is very thick and "toasty warm". It is 2 pieces, a pair of overalls and then a bermuda short length onesie with long sleeves. They sent me into the bathroom to put it on cause they said I would want to sit down after a while. After a while? They also only gave me the overall part cause they said I would want help with the rest. Two pieces, a jumper and a zip up the front one piece, clothes not brain surgery.
I got one leg in and a foot and had to sit down. Then I got it up over my shoulders with one knee pad on my knee and the other one below it and the Velcro of the shoulder strap stuck to my head. I was done, it was about 192 degrees in the thing and I walked with a limp. So I ventured out for help.
They said I was really quick, they didn't expect me so soon. And I had more on than they thought I would. Two customers came in, took one look at me and sat down to watch. Get a life huh and open the dammed door, its hot in here.
Now the onesie. There is a trick to them. I don't know it. I can tell you DONT MAKE A FIST WHEN YOU PUT YOUR ARM IN! they told me your dive buddy always helps you put your suit on and you always help them. I need 3 days notice, 2 dive buddies and the jaws of life.
After I got both pieces on I flapped my arms to make all the air in the suit come out the neck so they could see if it fit or if I needed a smaller size. ******** comedians these guys. They were thinking there was too big an airpocket in the back. The fact that my left boob was squished under my chin and my right boob was squished under my left armpit was OK but not too much airspace in the back or I would get cold. It was 248 degrees in this thing and I was starting to see pretty colors. I told them not to worry, it fit just fine. I was going to take it off.
I waddled over to the bathroom, my knees didn't bend and my legs did not come to within a foot and a half of each other. There was a step up to the bathroom. One snicker from the peanut gallery and I was going to knock them unconscious with my BC.
Once in the bathroom I got one arm out and figured I was going to have to buy the stupid thing just because I couldn't get it off. It is black and it is mine.
After I wear the suit 10 times they are going to put a certificate of achievement on the wall.
