Divemaster touching me

[waaterpal]

Last week I was diving in Mexico and was the only diver with the divemaster. I only have about 50 dives and had expressed some anxiety to the dive shop because of an incident with faulty equipment when diving months earlier. So when the divemaster took my hand under water I thought he was making sure I felt comfortablel But he never let go! He took off my gloves, laced his fingers in mine, massaged my hands and fingers, "brushed" sand off my legs and arms, stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, clinked his face mask to mine.

Why didn't I clobber him? Who wants to tic off their DM at 60 feet with noone else there and when you are aleady anxious? We did the SI and, victim that I am , I said nothing, still wanting to believe he was being comforting (stupid). When we returned to the water for the 2nd tank right before we descended he said "Under the water you are my girlfriend." I should have gotten out of the wather right then but continued with the descent because I didn't want to cause a problem and was in denial. Guys, you may think this ridiculous but I am sure that many women can relate to this conditioning.

The second dive was the same as the first. Never let go of me. I left the dive shop (all men) as soon as I could and told the female DM the next day at the resort where we were staying (they were the on-site shop). She couldn't believe what I was saying, telling me repeatedly that He was her friend, he wouldn't, nice guy, etc. I gave her my phone number and asked her to have the owner call me. No call (but it is XMAS time). I emailed the shop two days ago asking that someone contact me about an "incident." I hope to hear from them in the next few days.

Question - women - has this ever happened to you?
Just how common is unsolicited physical contact from a DM?
Any advice as to how to handle this with the dive shop? The Dm is an experienced and long-time employee (and, as far as skills as a DM, he was excellent). I don't want someone to lose their job...but I feel molested.

NEXT TIME>> I will clobber anyone who tries this! I am 53yrs old, a strong professional woman and totally shut down in this.

 

[WVDiver]

Matters not how skillful, experienced or how long he has been an employee you should drop the hammer on this guy. You will be protecting others in the future. This behavior is not acceptable under any circumstances and you should make it your mission to have his job.

 

[SteveAD]

If I ever heard that one of my staff pulled that kind of ****e with a client it would be grounds for immediate termination, filing of a QA report with PADI, and notification of the other shops in the area that this individual should not be hired. Assuming the complaint was substantiated.

 

[tiggrr]

Yes it has. I think its par for the course in Carribean/Central America whether you are diving or not.

Very sorry to hear this happened to you.

Its been my experience with 2 complaints. (1 to a dive shop and 1 to resort managment) that they tell you they fire the employee and the employee comes back to work after you leave.

I don't dive one on one with any local/DM/Guide anymore. Always in a group now.

 

[Arizona]

This seems like clear sexual harassment based on your description. He was obviously taking advantage of the situation. Good on you to be to able to discuss this in a pubic forum.

Did he sign your logbook? Note the agency/DM # he is certified in. Perhaps you can notify them. I am not sure what recourse you would have in Mexico.

 

[funkcanna]

When I first read the post I was amazed that this happened, however when I think about it this kind of thing happens in every profession / hobby / public location around the world. I skydive also and its not uncommon for the Tandem Masters to act flirtatious with the female "passengers". Most of them seem to like it and its mostly harmless fun, however I can understand how this gets out of hand. Often people who are in a position of authority get alot of attention from the females which only serves to egg them on.

I agree with the other posters above me - if you felt uncomfortable then chances are someone else in the past or future will feel the same with this DM so its only right for you to make a fuss and stop this happening. It may also serve to stop any other potential dive pervs before they do anything like this.

 

[VooDooGasMan]

The divmaster took you under his wing and from the sound of it never seperated from you at all.

There are no ground rules when you asked for help, did you pay extra for his assistance, if not and if you were an inconvience to the other divers than maybe he pushed it so you would go to another shop and waste there time.

The mexicans will take my wife out of her chair and exchange the dance partners with other mexicans, popular places like carlos & charlies, they do have a invade your personal space thing about them, they are in thought that laughing, touching and help inturpeting the language and the area, they will be tipped.


But By all means clobber them next time, (as you must like to be in mexican prison where they will do what ever they want and nobdy can help you at all).

If you feel molested, learn how to dive with no assistance and your next trip wont be so uneventfull.



Happy Diving

 

[waaterpal]

I would not wander off with a man whom I had just met in any other circumstances so I think tiggrr's advice is good - for all female divers - dive in groups. I do want to protect other female divers from this abuser so I will take your advice and report him. He did sign my log. How do I do that with PADI and do you think I should wait to notify the owners first?

Don't know how I can substantiate the event as we were alone. Thanks again for your support, validation and advice.

 

[Garrobo]

Hmmmmm. Reverse the sexes and see what kind of responses you get.

 

[austriandiveress]

Hmmm, this sounds like an unpleasant experience; very sorry that it happened to you. Did you get an idea what this guy was like when not in the water? Did he flirt with you or touch you? What about cultural differences? Is there a chance he thought that his behavior was ok with you, or that you wanted physical contact, due to your previous experience? It sounds like you must have spent the whole dive very close to him for him to even be able to do this. I dont mean that to be judgemental, but I do find it a little strange: there is no need to clobber him if you simply take your hand away from his. Or did you feel the need to hang on? If that was the case his behaviour could be seen as a threat to your safety.
His behaviour sounds intrusive and unprofessional. Nevertheless, and assuming that I have understood your post correctly: I could imagine that the owner of the dive shop might feel that the fact that you did a second dive with him can only indicate that you didnt find his behavior to be all that bad at the time. I dont mean to insult you, but you asked for opinions...