Divemaster touching me

[bowlofpetunias]

I have two daughters and I lecture to them all the time about this sort of thing. This will sound harsh, but understand I am not judging you, I am educating you. This was your fault. Think of him as a salesman. He sees a qualified buyer (single, unescorted) and he starts building rapport. You did give him buying signals (allowed him to hold your hand, etc. after you realized he was being sexually aggressive). When a salesman gets objections, he changes his approach. Now that I told you what you did wrong, let me tell you what I would tell my daughters. YOU determine how you are treated by everyone you deal with. When you are confronted by behavior that is unwanted, put a stop to it respectfully but immediately. Don't go along with it out of fear. After all, if he is going to physically harm you, the last thing you want to do is give him encouragement. It is better to let him understand that the reality isn't going to be anywhere near the fantasy. I would venture to say that this guy was not threatening in his mind, but thought you liked him and welcomed his advances. So next time, stand your ground, be strong, and NEVER let anyone put their hands on you that you don't choose to do that. One more thing I would tell my daughters. Always have a friend with you when you travel! Regarless of your DM's intentions, there is real scum out there.

I find myself in agreement with a lot of your post. I like the salesman analogy. I strongly disagree with the statement I have bolded in red. I hope your daughters never come in contact with a serial rapist or any of the scum that prey on others. Unfortunately telling females they determine how they are treated by everyone contributes to the torment of those who survive encounters with the real scum out there!

There is no back and white! We had a religious leader in Australia say that "Women who didn't cover themselves properly or stay in their rooms were like chunks of meat left outside for the cat... you can't blame the cat for eating the meat." He felt women were determining how they should be treated by going outside without proper male escorts and covering from head to toe! Is this extremism? yep!


Please soften the message just a little. I am not judging you, I am educating you. Sometimes bad things happen to good people who do not deserve it. I pray that it doesn't happen I pray that I never again have to render aide to another assult victim. I pray that the victims find support and not blame themselves for what is not their fault.

 

[Gen San Chris]

Sorry for your bad experience but some pepole think that they are Gods Gift and he probably thought that he could get to know you better! He was dumb and should be fired in my opinion!