Knowing when to call a dive

[Lead_carrier]

Give her a big hug for being smart enough to call a dive when she wasn't comfortable. I'm know that I should have called a couple of dives when I didn't. Fortunately, nothing more than some major embarrassment happened, but without someone looking out for me it could have been bad. Tell her that it would be great diving with her knowing she was so level headed.:cool3:

 

[msg]

You descended and left your daughter at the surface. You waited for three minutes.
Are you kidding.

Have a diving professional asess both your equipment and skills.

Diving is not about feelings or family bonding.

It was your reponsibility to call the dive.

I was ten feet below her and was watching her the entire time. She made no attempt to descend. The water was plenty clear, so it was not as if I just left her to herself. She has made this dive a few times before, with out having any problems.

 

[msg]

TSandM,
She got certified over the fall. She has been in this particular quarry several times, after her cert. She hadn't shown any signs of diving anxiety before. Perhaps we should descend at the same time, I was just trying to give her some room to "do it on her time."
Thank you for your response, I appreciate your advice.

 

[Brian Sharpe]

If you call a dive there's always another day. If the dive starts out on the wrong foot, metaphorically, there might not be. Kudos to her for showing the maturity to not dive when it didn't feel right.

I've read way too many "lessons for life" that may never have needed to be written if a diver had listened to that little voice inside his or her head rather than succumbing to peer pressure.

 

[TSandM]

Okay -- if you were at only ten feet and could see her the whole time, I apologize for my criticism. I was envisioning dark water and not being able to see her.

 

[randini]

msg, I second what TSandM said: kudos to the both of you. Kudos to her for knowing when not to dive and having the courage to risk upsetting you (I remember that it can be tough when you're 12), and kudos to you for your understanding, encouragement and pride in her for doing so. For your sake, I hope the lesson sticks throughout her teens and that they're easy years on you.

Anyone can call the dive at anytime for any reason is one thing we're trying to push through here with the divers at the marine lab I work at.

 

[Leejnd]

But, as harshly as knowone put it, I do think the decision to descend and wait for your daughter is one you should revisit. Descents are one of the times when people DO have problems -- they discover equipment that's malfunctioning, they have equalization problems and get vertigo, or any number of issues. Having a dive buddy nearby can be very comforting and useful, especially if the viz is low. In my opinion, descents and ascents are the times that buddies should stay the closest together, because the situation is much more dynamic than during the touring portion of the dive.

I completely agree with everything you said in this paragraph, EXCEPT for the first line. Not only was knowone's post harsh, it was insulting, hostile and made completely erroneous assumptions. I think if anyone owes the OP an apology, it's knowone. How rude. And I mean knowone, not you, TSM - you at least were considerate in your response, and then quickly apologized when you learned the truth.

You descended and left your daughter at the surface. You waited for three minutes.
Are you kidding.

Have a diving professional asess both your equipment and skills.

Diving is not about feelings or family bonding.

It was your reponsibility to call the dive.

Jump to conclusions much? Attack people without knowing all facts much? This was one of the rudest posts I've seen on here in a while.

When I read the OP's post, I immediately assumed it was exactly as he later described - a short descent where he had his eye on her the whole time. It sounded to me like they agreed to descend, so he began his, dropped down a few feet, waited a few minutes for her to begin hers, and when she didn't, he came right back up to find out why. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I do most of my diving with my husband, and he takes a long time to descend due to narrow eustacian tubes, so it takes a while for him to clear his ears. When we give the signal to descent, I usually drop down the first ten feet pretty quickly, looking up at him the whole time. He sometimes will take a few moments to clear his ears on the surface before he drops, then does a looong slow descent. I am usually below him - I kind of scout out beneath us for the best place to land, the direction of the reef etc. I look up at him frequently to watch for signs that he's having trouble with his ears...if he hasn't begun his descent within a few minutes, I'll pop back up to see what's going on.

So, are you gonna attack me for descending before my buddy? You gonna tell me to "have a diving professional assess my skills"?

You might want to do a re-read on the special rules for this forum:

Please note: This forum has special rules. This forum is intended to be a very friendly, "flame free zone" where divers of any skill level may ask questions about basic scuba topics without fear of being accosted. Please show respect and courtesy at all times. Remember that the inquirer is looking for answers that they can understand. This is a learning zone and consequently, any off-topic or overly harsh responses will be removed.

That would be AFTER you apologize to the OP for suggesting that he did anything wrong.

 

[Leejnd]

This past weekend my daughter and I went diving. The first day went fairly well, just a few minor issues that were worked out easily. Day two, wasn't as good.

On the second day, we got geared up, entered the water, ready to swim to the float.
The hooded vest seemed to be too tight on her neck and she felt as if she was being choked. She removed her BCD, exited the water, took off the hooded vest, and used a cold water hood, instead. Everything seemed fine, so we went to the float. Once at the float, she began to get over exerted, her words. We tried to relax at the float, but she couldn't seem to get steady in the water, she felt that the BCD wasn't fitting her properly, and became really frustrated. I asked several times if she was ok, to which she replied "yes". I told her to take her time, relax, and we would dive when she was ok. She said that she was ready, so I descend to the platform, moved out of the way so that she had room, and waited. After about 3min, she still had not made her descent. I went up to check on her and she wasn't feeling comfortable. I asked if she was ok, but still she responded "yes". I asked if she would like to dive or call the dive. She was nearly in tears, and said that she would like to dive later.

As we were swimming back to shore, she became more upset or disappointed that we weren't diving. She thought that I was upset that I wasn't going to dive. She was trying to make me happy, by diving, even though she wasn't feeling up to the dive.

I could not have been more proud of her calling the dive, knowing she wasn't feeling up to the dive. I told her just how proud of her I was, by not pushing the envelope and diving just to suit her dive partner. At twelve years old, I thought she showed great judgment. Really at any age, it is better to call a dive if things don't seem right, than to risk a dive, and have major problems.
Great job to her.

Great job to YOU! You've obviously raised a responsible daughter, and, even more important, you recognize when she's done something maturely and responsibly. Great job Dad! And, thank you for posting this. You've reinforced some important lessons, especially for newer divers, as so many readers in the Basic Scuba Discussions forum are. The lessons your story reinforced include:

1. Any diver can call any dive at any time for any reason.
2. The buddy of a diver who calls a dive should never make that diver feel bad about calling a dive. Doing so will make divers LESS likely to call a dive, out of fear of disappointing or pissing off their buddy. This could result in divers not calling a dive when they should...resulting in more dive injuries/fatalities.
3. You gave TSM an opportunity to reinforce the important lesson that descents and ascents are the most critical parts of dives, when most things go wrong.

 

[knowone]

There are times when independence in children must be promoted. Other times not.
They like to sit on the floor or in chairs and when a parent feels there may be a problem they say, "Hey hows it going, whats up, do you want to talk?" then sit on the floor or a chair and talk, side on, face to face or whichever seems most comfortable.

During diving, certainly when there are issues as there were a culmination here, buddies remain together face to face to attempt to alleviate any anxiety and what is causing it.
This is not character building independence parent time.
It is diving time.
I am positive that msg and his daughter will handle similar events completely differently in the future.
There is far more at stake here than offence taken at the structure of information delivery.
I prefer Chinese food with msg.

 

[DTm]

Msg,

Great job! The one thing I would say is your daughter should get back in the water sooner rather than later. Don't force it but yo do want to get a good experence to offset this one.


Knowone, you're just wrong, the thing I want to say to you would just further break the no flame rules.