What gear malfunctions have you ever had?

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Only gear malfunction I can remember was last year when my shoulder dump valve leaked and my BCD didn't hold air. Since the site was benign with a hard bottom at 15-20m, I decided to continue the dive using my DS for buoyancy control. No sweat, since I'm weighted to have an empty BCD and just some comfort air in my suit at the end of the dive. Disassembled the valve topside, removed a loose plastic foil thingy & the valve has been A-OK ever since.

Last weekend my son had the same problem with his BCD, at 20m on a wall dive with no hard bottom at reasonable depths. When jiggling the valve underwater didn't help, I thumbed the dive. He told me he could use the DS for buoyancy control, and I gave him the thumb once more.

Losing redundant buoyancy over a hard bottom at OWD depths is one thing. Losing redundant buoyancy along a wall over an unknown depth is something quite different, IMHO.

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Typos are a feature, not a bug
 
I agree. Know your conditions. It seemed like a good reason to thumb the dive
 
It seemed like a good reason to thumb the dive
Topside, I told him: "If you're going to do a wall dive without a hard bottom at reasonable depths, without a functioning BCD, you'll have to do it without me" :D
 
Fins with a buckle have twice broken mid-dive during my first couple years of diving (which was only some 40 dives). Never owned any since, just spring straps.

I've seen computers go blank mid-dive maybe 3-4x. Once it meant that the computer had flooded and was ruined, the other times It meant "please change my battery".
 
Couple of flooded dive lights
Stuck LP inflator on a shop hired BCD that stuck in both senses of the word- stuck on and stuck open. Rather rapid ascent from 30m and even back on the boat, the bloody thing was refusing to come off.
Computer deciding to reboot itself mid dive, at 27m on the good one, the rebooted one was telling me 11m
Broken fin strap
Lost a dive rite primary reel- thought I had unhooked the hip d-ring for my stage.........wrong
Blown O ring on my ABLJ bottle
 
I had my dry suit zipper separate from the suit, because I replaced it with one of the tizips which has a bit different characteristics

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- Flooded dive computer after changing the battery but -obviously- screwing up the o-ring.
- Slowly self-inflating BCD: Disconnect LPI and use oral inflation to get neutral
- Broke line of DSMB, luckily the sausage drifted against the rocks and not out in the open
- Exploded HP hose (on the boat): switch to spare reg
- Compass stuck: buy new one
- First stage screw of yoke reg became stuck (due to salt crystals?) on the tank: soak in hot water and use some brute force to undo it :D
 
Regarding FinnMom's post,

First, I had a fin buckle failure in mid water once. I retrieved a couple of zip ties from my BC pocket, re-attached the strap, in mid water, then finished my dive.

I bought spring straps. This turned out not to be a permanent solution. The attachment pins have retaining caps crimped over their ends. One of these caps or the pin seems to have corroded away and on my last trip to the Red Sea it let go, at night, on a dive. We were only at 40 ft./13 m so I deflated my BC, stood on the sand bottom, got some zip ties from my pocket, then repaired my fin strap. Finished the week with a zip tied spring fin strap.

I have repaired (on the surface) a mask strap for a dive buddy and re-attached one of the equalizer hoses on my Pro-Ear mask with zip ties.

I also carry a roll of silicone rescue tape with me in my surface kit. It can repair a torn regulator mouthpiece among other things.
 

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