Wife doesn't know...

[MNScuba]

I think this is scuba related... maybe not!

Anyway, what's the best way to break it to your sweet, beautiful, loving, adorable Wife that you just spent over $1000 on scuba gear and walk away alive and happy... or better yet, she's happy about it?

I made the mistake of buying all my gear without telling her... I did it because if I told her before-hand, she wouldn't have given me the ok. SO... right now she knows I spent $300 and knows I have a mask, snorkel, fins and a dive computer, hehehe. Here's the tough part...I have a BCD and wetsuit in the closet that she doesn't know about yet!

Am I terrible or is this kind of normal for married couples?

Anyway, for the ladies in the house and the guys that have done this... what do I do!?

I do love my Wife dearly and that's probably why this bothers me so much! It's just tough explaining/justifying the cost of scuba when she's not the least bit interested in it.

 

[Uncle Pug]

Originally posted by Murdock325
Am I terrible or is this kind of normal for married couples?

Yes.

Yes.


Murdock, let me ask you a personal question since we are alone here and no one else will know....

Are you meeting all of your other financial obligations and does you wife feel secure?

 

[MNScuba]

Are you meeting all of your other financial obligations and does you wife feel secure?


Yes, I make sure everything's paid in full or at least paid on time. No credit card goes over 2 months without being paid in full... that's a rule I swear by!

Yes, we're actually getting a new house this summer and things are going great!


But... She thinks I waste money on stuff I don't need.

 

[Rick Murchison]

"It is easier to beg forgiveness than to get permission"
Start begging.
Rick

 

[MnLakeDiver]

I have tried the "you want me safe" approch and the I'm sorry he was to good of a salesman approch.

But she responded with the you sleep in the den reply. so I may not be the best source

 

[MNScuba]

"It is easier to beg forgiveness than to get permission"
Start begging.

That's what I was affraid of... but it's so true. Besides, if I added up all the money she spends on makeup, hair products, etc... I could have 3 sets of scuba gear! BUT... that would NOT be a good thing to bring up, hahaha.

 

[large_diver]

Just get ready to open the wallet again....

The best way may be to make another preemptive strike...except this time you need to buy HER something ;-)

 

[martinjc]

Ok - first off you have admitted that you have a problem - that's an important step - now you need to go about fixing it...

Time is your enemy here - the longer this situation exists, it seems the worse it gets - so act pretty quickly (and accompany your explanation with Godiva and flowers if possible..)

Here are some of the phrases you need to work into your conversation:

"I'm sorry"

"It was unfair of me to not talk to you before I made such a large purchase, but it won't happen again" (In our house we instituted what I call the $100 rule - if it's under $100 no prior discussion is necessary - over $100 and we need to discuss it. This is basically because we share bill paying duties and only have one checking account - if I paid the bills on a Wednesday night and paid off a credit card - probabaly wouldn't want my wife to buy a $750 living room chair on Thursday...if we discuss it first - money can be moved around from savings etc. so nothing goes 'bounce'. I Think the rule is a good one - adjust the dollar amount to fit your own financial situation)

"I'm sorry"

"I really want to be as safe as possible when I dive - and buying quality life support equipment and getting quality training is the best way to ensure that safety." This is a key argument!

"I'm sorry"

"Is there any hobby of yours for which you have wanted to make a big purchase and have held off due to the expense? If so - how about some quid pro quo?" (Since last summer I have spent a total of $2,603.73 on dive equipment and training - yes I keep track - my wife is into many, many crafts (sewing, rubber stamping, crochet, scrap booking) she is on a quest to match me dollar for dollar - on tap for purchase this spring - a new sewing table, a surger (don't ask) oh yeah - and I'm putting in a sewing room in the basement<S>)

"I'm sorry"

"Show me that piece of jewelry again you would like for Valentine's day" Large Diver makes a good point - already knowing what this piece of jewelry is and having it pre-purchased (before this conversation) could score you big points.

"I'm sorry"

Good luck!!!!!

 

[scuba-sass]

For not coming clean in the first place!

In the Women's only forum, you asked for advice. Remember - you're preaching to the choir here. Most women on this board would simply want you to go out and buy all the same, or better, gear for us as well!

My partner and I have a saying for situations where our decisions have no logical basis - "I need to ride the roller coaster." When one of us says that, the other needs no other explanation. It comes from a visit we made to the "Mall of America" several years ago. Both of us love roller coasters, and this mall has an amusement park, including coaster in the middle. Now granted, it's a rinky-dink highly over-priced coaster. We checked it out, and mutually decided it was foolish to go on. The cost:fun ratio was just way off. We spent the day at the mall (the place is HUGE!), and just as we were walking out the door, I turned to Lydia and said "I need to ride the roller coaster". The funny thing is, she was thinking the same thing! We turned around, paid an exorbitant sum, and had a cheesy little ride. But we wouldn't have missed it for the world.

So from now on, when you "need" something just because, tell your loved-one that story, and use our line. It always works, no matter how rediculous he/she thinks the request is!

Happy Diving!

Scuba-sass

 

[Liquid]

What she dosen't know ouwldn't hurt her...