Key point here - and luck has nothing to do with it!!!
Think strategic!!!
BTW.... the leather furniture set arrived before the gavins!!!
Wife doesn't know...
- Thread starter MNScuba
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Key point here - and luck has nothing to do with it!!!
Think strategic!!!
BTW.... the leather furniture set arrived before the gavins!!!
Are your trying to get poor old Murdock killed? Really fast and painfully? That would do it! WHEN she found out about it, just the fact that he hid it from her is enough to cause major pain...mental and/or physical!
I think this suggestion from Martin is the best....
"It was unfair of me to not talk to you before I made such a large purchase, but it won't happen again" (In our house we instituted what I call the $100 rule - if it's under $100 no prior discussion is necessary - over $100 and we need to discuss it. This is basically because we share bill paying duties and only have one checking account - if I paid the bills on a Wednesday night and paid off a credit card - probabaly wouldn't want my wife to buy a $750 living room chair on Thursday...if we discuss it first - money can be moved around from savings etc. so nothing goes 'bounce'. I Think the rule is a good one - adjust the dollar amount to fit your own financial situation)
Old but true saying...Honesty is the best policy. You did wrong, so apologize and take your lumps, so to speak.
After almost 29 yrs. of marriage, I know of what I speak! This is probably a good time for you and the missus to sit down and have a chat about how important diving is to you and ways you two can compromise with each other to allow both of you to enjoy your hobbies. She has her things, you have yours...it doesn't have to cause major problems!
KC_Scubabunny
Guest
Maybe I am going to get flack for what I am about to say but.....
Unless you are spending a disproportionate amount of your combined income on hobby stuff then I am not sure there is anything to apologize for. Especially if you contribute at least half or more to that income.
You have already said that you are not in debt and this purchase did not put you there. Unless the two of you had already agree to spend this money on something else then I think it was fair game. Now if you spent the money she was saving to go see her sick mother then shame on you!
Where I think you went wrong was by hiding it in the first place. That implies something sneaky or dishonest. I would have just come right in with it and explained then and there that you got a better deal by purchasing all at once.
If you did not get a better deal by purchasing all at once then you need to go back to the diveshop and give them a little flack because you made a major gear purchase and they should have given you 15 - 20% for the volume discount. At least that is they way it works at all the shops around here. If you purchase a full set of gear at once.
I wouldn't make a bunch of excuses about safety or other stuff if it is not true. Being lied to is even more insulting than the original crime to me.
KC_Scubabunny
Unless you are spending a disproportionate amount of your combined income on hobby stuff then I am not sure there is anything to apologize for. Especially if you contribute at least half or more to that income.
You have already said that you are not in debt and this purchase did not put you there. Unless the two of you had already agree to spend this money on something else then I think it was fair game. Now if you spent the money she was saving to go see her sick mother then shame on you!
Where I think you went wrong was by hiding it in the first place. That implies something sneaky or dishonest. I would have just come right in with it and explained then and there that you got a better deal by purchasing all at once.
If you did not get a better deal by purchasing all at once then you need to go back to the diveshop and give them a little flack because you made a major gear purchase and they should have given you 15 - 20% for the volume discount. At least that is they way it works at all the shops around here. If you purchase a full set of gear at once.
I wouldn't make a bunch of excuses about safety or other stuff if it is not true. Being lied to is even more insulting than the original crime to me.
KC_Scubabunny
OP
MNScuba
Guest
I'm getting lots of good advice, thank you. We're not doing without anything because I bought the gear, and we both have 'our own' money. She has her checking account and I have mine, it works for us. Like I said, it's just hard to explain spending that kind of money on scuba gear to someone who has no interest in the sport. Its like her telling me a pair of shears (she cuts hair) costs her $250, I just don't understand it. Anyway, I'll just bite the bullet and tell her I have all my gear... I don't necessarily have to tell her how much it was, do I? 
PS:
I got 15% off plus a free class for buying the package. The class alone was $189 and the discount came to about the same.
PS:
I got 15% off plus a free class for buying the package. The class alone was $189 and the discount came to about the same.
chepar
Contributor
What she dosen't know ouwldn't hurt her...
This is ok for the short term. What you need to realize is that at some point, SHE WILL FIND OUT. Wives seem to have that kind of power, especially when it comes down to the checkbook, you know.
Better to 'fess up on your own, rather than have her find out without you telling her first. That's always a good way to get some fireworks going. :boom: Like KC said, if you hide it, it implies that you did something dishonest and sneaky.
In your discussion, just make sure you try to let her know how important diving is to you (for future activities and purchases) - but without using it to justify your recent purchase without her knowledge. Let her know you will involve her in all future big ticket purchases.
This is ok for the short term. What you need to realize is that at some point, SHE WILL FIND OUT. Wives seem to have that kind of power, especially when it comes down to the checkbook, you know.
Better to 'fess up on your own, rather than have her find out without you telling her first. That's always a good way to get some fireworks going. :boom: Like KC said, if you hide it, it implies that you did something dishonest and sneaky.
In your discussion, just make sure you try to let her know how important diving is to you (for future activities and purchases) - but without using it to justify your recent purchase without her knowledge. Let her know you will involve her in all future big ticket purchases.
"HEY! A little help here!!!"
Murdock... just sit back and take a deep breath....
Try to relax... it's going to be ok....
"Somebody!!!"
Murdock... there is a whole new world of diving out there for you...
and... well.... you really don't have exactly "all" your gear yet.... you have the gear that you have now... but soon you will need more...
You must never let those deadly words slip from your lips again... especially within earshot of you know who... or you will have far greater problems in the future than you have now...
MnLakeDiver
Contributor
Take U P's advice.
then again I figure your wife will kill you if you hide it from her then I can pick up some good "almost new dive equipment" at a price I wont have to explaine to my wife.
then again I figure your wife will kill you if you hide it from her then I can pick up some good "almost new dive equipment" at a price I wont have to explaine to my wife.
OP
MNScuba
Guest
LOL...
Uncle Pug, good point! I'll do my best to refrain from those words, and right after I wrote that I received my BCD knife from my eBay purchase, hahaha. (That was one of TWO knives.)
I guess I'll just pull this scheme, here's how it will go:
Wife: Christopher! What's this!? (Full names always come out in anger!)
Me: Oh, that old thing... I've had that for a while now. That reminds me, I should get a new one... thanks for reminding me!
Wife: I think this one is good enough, you don't need a new one.
Me: Good point honey!
Man... if this would only work in real life! Sounds so good on 'paper'.
Uncle Pug, good point! I'll do my best to refrain from those words, and right after I wrote that I received my BCD knife from my eBay purchase, hahaha. (That was one of TWO knives.)
I guess I'll just pull this scheme, here's how it will go:
Wife: Christopher! What's this!? (Full names always come out in anger!)
Me: Oh, that old thing... I've had that for a while now. That reminds me, I should get a new one... thanks for reminding me!
Wife: I think this one is good enough, you don't need a new one.
Me: Good point honey!
Man... if this would only work in real life! Sounds so good on 'paper'.
Call my secretary to arrainge a marraige counseling appointment...
The "Honey I should have talked to you first" aproach may work But, make sure you have all the things you even might want for the next year or so (it's hard to pull it off more than once a year).
Also agree with getting something nice for her. My wife dives, so letting her pick out equipment she wants works for me. Dive vacations work too!
Also agree with getting something nice for her. My wife dives, so letting her pick out equipment she wants works for me. Dive vacations work too!
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