Wife is sometimes a bad buddy

[Jim Lapenta]

I can relate to that! With my second wife the rope would have been around her neck!

 

[Splash-X]

I have been trying to get her to lake dive to practice for an ocean trip, but it sucks. She will not swim next to me, she will only follow me-I cannot see her behind me. Then she gets lost and surfaces. I wear a 7 mm wetsuit in freshwater lakes and mines because it is cold below the 'cline. Constantly surfacing to find her gets me really overheated and sucks.

So, I have figured out I am NOT gonna fix her low vis diving problem. She is uncomfortable and she bugs the crap out of me surfacing because she is uncomfortable. She says she feels claustraphobic in the low vis.

Here is the question: I want to still dive the lakes and mines. I think it is fun. Is it safe for her to only ocean dive every year or two and take a pool refresher before trips, or should she stop diving if she is gonna refuse to dive the lakes?

Don,

Lets go back to your OW class. What is rule #1 about a buddy team? Any diver may call off a dive at any time for any reason. Whats the second major rulle? No one should ever put pressure on or force a buddy to go beyond their comfort level.

When a buddy is already stressed about doing a low viz dive because they either didn't want to or didn't feel up to it, a buddy that is always swimming away or getting lost will easily send her over the top.


Take a step back and see how these factors may be increasing her stress and causing the troubles you are seeing.


To answer your real question, can she take a refresher course before each ocean dive every 2 years? Most dive operators who are "tourist" oriented allow anyone who has logged a dive in the past two years to go out.

It would be idea if you wife would complete a refresher course prior to leaving for a trip. Usualy this only requires some pool work, review of skills, etc so she wouldn't have to dive in a lake if she didn't want to. Waiting until you get to your destination and then trying to find a refresher course may add dealys to being able to dive.


To refresh or not to refresh, that is the question! If your skills are rusty then WD40 them with a refresher course, it can't hurt!

 

[shoredivr]

Splash-X:

hon, go back and read the whole thread. the issue is 4 years old now, he was just giving a relationship update.

I admire the OP for giving us his update.

And for providing a thread that reminds me to read the date - and the whole thread - before replying.

 

[gbray]

Of course everyone above is correct in their replies.......but...... oh how I feel your pain. I too live as far from an ocean as is possible and also enjoy diving lakes and quarries.When my wife dives with me she refuses to wear a hood or go below the thermocline. Where I live that limits the depth to about 15-20 feet. she also is very uncomfortable in low vis. She does ,at least, go with me and tries. She only has about 18 dives. My hope is that with time she will become more comfortable and begin to enjoy it more. When she recently returned from Hawaii I dove alone (with other buddies that is) for several dives. I try to plan dives with other buddies to do the stuff I enjoy and occasionally when she wants to it is only she and I. I try to be patient on those days.

We don,t yet know another couple who share our diving interest and skill level to buddy up with but I am hopeful to meet one soon. I am sure you and I are not the only two with this situation. we also try to combine other activities with the diving such as driving to remote dive locations and camping. This gets her mind off the dive and when she see's me going out for her she tries a little harder to dive with me. dive locations with interesting items to explore may also help. We recently went to Mermet springs, Illinois and dove a 727 jet in the quarry. Much to my surprise she really enjoyed it. She actually went to 40 ft and didn't realize it right away.It was great.

Well, if nothing else, know you are not alone in this. Be patient and good luck.

 

[NorthWoodsDiver]

We are getting divorced. I would shoot myself before putting a 6 foot rope between us.

When I first pulled this thread up I wasn't gonna read all the posts and instead suggest you just dive solo if you can't find someone else to dive with but I guess you figured that out on your own

Look on the bright side, now you can buy a rebreather an no one can question it...

 

[gbray]

Oops. read the first page and didn't notice the date. Still trying to figure all this computer and Scuba board stuff out. Live and learn.