You Might Be A Redneck Diver If....

[Fish_Whisperer]

gooooood ones. I know men who won't bathe..."but I DOVE today" sad, but true.

you might be a redneck diver, if your toenails look like parrot beaks.

:lol:

 

[ch0ppersrule]

These are too funny. I can't think of anymore right now, but keep 'em coming. I need a good laugh. Yuck- toenails like parrot beaks. LOL

 

[Cacia]

Really, frank, I hate that. MEN: get a pedicure once a year...please.

You might be a redneckdiver if you have all your PADI patches sewed on your wetsuit.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

You might be a redneck diver if your "Super High Speed Tech Diving Gear" was brought home in a Walmart sack.

 

[Cacia]

You might be a redneckdiver if you brought a bucket of KFC on the boat and throw the bones overboard.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

You might be a redneck diver if you bring your hounddog, "Ol' Blue" on the dive boat.

 

[ealbert]

You might be a diving redneck if:
Your speargun is a smith and wesson
Everything you find on a dive is in your front yard with flowers in it or around it
Your dive knife is a switchblade
Your dive boat is a Bassmaster or a Ranger
You dive mostly just to signal to your buddy on the surface "where the big'uns are"
You are earnestly searching for a way to attach a cigarette to your regulator without the flame going out
You fear tiger sharks much less that your wife (or her family)
-- (OK, OK, guess you dont have to be a redneck for that one lol

Your bumper sticker says- I'd rather be diving in a ford
Your spare air is actually a tiny keg filled with Pabts Blue Ribbon
You keep wonderin' "can you make pickles from sea cucumbers?"
Every time someone says "octopus", you giggle
Your dive boat has a rope swing and a tire and everyone is required to use it to get into the water
You hum "Sweet Home Alabama" throughout your entire dive
You store your gear under your trailer, next to the moonshine
You think SCUBA stands for Sea Creatures Under Bare *ss
- Self Contained Urinary Bladder Attachment
- Super Can Uf Big Air
- Special Care Under Beer & Alcohol
Your wetsuit has a giant number 3 painted on the chest
Farting in your wetsuit is SO MUCH FUN, you look forward to it
Your wetsuit is a "Bubba Glove" --- haaaaaa

This is fun

Eddie A

 

[H2Andy]

you might be a redneck diver if

... your dive gear has more equity than your trailer

... you use your speargun as an alternative means of propulsion

... you, your wife, and four kids show up at the dive with camo wetsuits

... you figured out a way to teach your dog Roy to scuba with you

... you can't wait until lobster season to "sick Roy on them bugs!"

 

[WarmWaterDiver]

You might be a redneck diver if you insist the music on the dive boat be "Freebird" played in an endless loop.

I do know of one hardhat diver from where I grew up in South Texas who used Copenhagen during working dives (going back to the brown spit stuff). Tough hombre!

 

[H2Andy]

dang.... what did he use as a spit cup?