Welcome to the board.
My wife is my primary dive buddy - but I often dive the boats out in So Cal and deal with the whole insta-buddy thing. After awhile you get the screening process dialed in - As Arnaud was saying, sometimes you get a winner, sometimes a weiner.
My thoughts on this: 90% is PRE-DIVE
#1 - let the DM on the ship / trip know you're diving single, are new and are looking for a buddy. Often he/she may know some of the regulars on the trip and can pair you up with someone who gets it.
#2 - be forthright. Let the insta-buddy (IB) know your're new. And interview the IB... dive experience, ever been to this location, any health issues you should be aware of, etc, etc. What size cylinder do they have (meaning, who has the most gas....) Stuff like that. Get a feel for this person.
#3 - Dive objective - be sure you have the same dive objectives. Is the IB a photographer? Be prepared to hang out while they shoot (not a bad thing while you get your dive groove on). Is the IB a hunter (lobster, spearing, etc...) that would suck for you, as my experience is most hunters are into the hunt and not into buddy-sitting. Get the objectives dialed in. If you're there to work on getting comfy with your gear, and want to work on drills, or maybe just want to float a bit and get your buoyancy dialed in, its all good. Just come to consensus before the gate opens and you hit the water. Just getting wet and looking around is my objective abotu 75% of the time...that's cool too. Just be sure there is consensus.
#4 - Dive plan. Now you know what you want to do on the dive (the WHATY and WHY) now you address the HOW and WHERE (we'll go to 30', head that a way to those cool rocks, drop to 50 for 5 minutes, hang out, until we reach XXX gas, then head slowly back to the chain with a very slow ascent, with stops at XX for XX minutes....) Get the plan together. You will be amazed at how many people think a plan is "go that way until 1/2 my gas is gone, then come back..." 3 and 4 are essential.
#5 - signals - get them together. OOA, Slow Down, turn around, and of course the numbers (how do you make a 6?) There are specific ways to flash numbers - but not everyone is on board. Get this together. You and Wifie will probably develop excellent communication - we have. But for IB's be sure you can "talk" underwater.
#6 - Equipment - know theirs, and be sure the IB knows yours. Every piece of equipment is a team resource - from slate to mask to octo and primary. Be sure you go through their rig, and the IB goes through yours so you know where to find stuff is things get weird.
#7 - WAIT FOR YOUR BUDDY AT THE ENTRY POINT. its mind-blowing to me how many times my IB will hit the water and then swim to the bow and wait for me on the chain. Or go into the shore, wade out 50 or 100' and wait for me there. Sticking close doesn't start on the descent. It starts on entry.
IN WATER
You're both in the water, everything is cool. Lets dive. Remember to stick close. I hate it when I find myself rubber necking for my buddy. I almost always let the other guy lead for that reason. I have a light, I make sure I stick close and keep myself visible so they can relax and enjoy the dive. But this also lets me keep a close watch on my backup gas supply.
If the IB is a racehorse, I'll yank a fin and flash the "woah nelly" sign so can keep up. I'm almost always more comfortable, all things being equal, being the wing man.
Its been said: stick close.
Remember to have fun. Stay aware - watch the IB's in-water behavior, breathing pattern, etc. to be sure everything is OK. You're gonna have a great time. Do your buddy homework above the water, and you'll have a great dive...and you'll be prepared if things go south.
K
