Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[blue steal]

This actually happened on a Disney Cruise cattle boat Stuart Cove dive

Semi panicked woman in the water screaming: - "There's no air coming out!"
Divemaster - very calmly: "Ma'am - it's a demand regulator - you have to inhale to make air come out."
Less paniced woman - "Oh - ok - thank you."

We stayed on the opposite side of the reef for the rest of the dive ...

:coolingoff:

 

[diverdoug1]

We were diving a site where we had seen a 12 foot tiger shark the previous week. As I mentioned this during the dive briefing, a relative newbie asked how she would be able to get away from such a shark if we saw it on the upcoming dive, to which I replied, "You don't have to swim fast, just faster than your buddy."

Was this at the elbow drift dive site? We saw a 12' Tiger there with Malcom and Nick.

 

[lord.harshil]

Friends don't let friends buy jacket style BCs

Funniest thing I've heard today mate!

 

[CrackedConch]

A fisherman decided he wanted to learn to dive. Knowing that fishing lures come in a variety of colors he asked: "Are any colors of fins or wetsuits more likely to cause a shark attack?"

To which the DM replied: "Well, I'd stay away from Yum-Yum Yellow"

 

[BelchFire]

Russian roulette with an un-loaded revolver kind of misses the point of the game, doesn't it?

I took that to mean a fully loaded revolver as opposed to a revolver loaded "in the Russian roulette fashion". But maybe I'm wrong.

This is one of the best threads ever.

...the water goes all the way to the bottom.

 

[ScottBuck]

Not SCUBA but just as funny. My wife just had a baby not home for more than a month. We met up with some family mid-way from both of us at a Hard Rock cafe to show off our new addition to the family. The nice lady who should us to our seats looks at our son and says "oh, what an adorable baby. Has it opened its eyes yet?" To which I reply "Its not a puppy....HIS eyes were opened at birth!"

 

[CrackedConch]

Instead of BCD, Weights, Releases, Air, Final Ok for pre-dive safety check, another acronym for BWRAF is: Blond Women Really Are Fun (or Brunette)

 

[maxguru]

Overheard while gearing up next to an open water class this past weekend...

"We're going deeper than we did in the pool, so you'll need to use more weight."

Max
DSAT 198186

 

[cappyjon431]

Instead of BCD, Weights, Releases, Air, Final Ok for pre-dive safety check, another acronym for BWRAF is: Blond Women Really Are Fun (or Brunette)

I've worked in the Bahamas, Belize, and Bocas del toro, so I have always used:
Bahamian women really are fun
Belizean women really are fun
Bocas women really are fun

 

[CrackedConch]

"This site is only 50 feet deep, so to do our deep class today we're going to have to dive it twice"