"My wife won't let me ..."

[NAM001]

Recently married here. I've got an agreement with my wife that we'll discuss any purchase (by either of us) before making it. We've been single for years and are used to running our own show. Joint bank account is taking some getting used to and we don't want to wind up with a nastygram for mismanaging the account. Neither of us have ever said no about any purchase, but the act of talking about it tends to curb careless spending somewhat.

Also, it's a great "out" for dealing with high pressure salesmen (e.g. buttholes) which there are a lot of in dive shops these days. "Looks great, but I've got to discuss it with my wife first."


@MaxBottomtime know where I can buy one of those?

Great points ans that process is seen every day.

MYy wife and I have separate banking some what. we bot have joint accounts at the bank. She functions with one account and I the other. No bounced checks ever happen because of the other. We do have sole and separate savings accounts. BUT wehave each others passwords to move cash. her savings has insurance and trax money in it and mine is for other things like car insurance and the like. Our banking arrangement is such that the accounts are tools and not testiments of trust or mistrust.

 

[Remy B.]

There is a difference between man that accepts drama and man who give a shi.... about it.

When a woman tells you to not do something ( activity related of course ), there is when you explain that is her problem not yours, that she is free to join that actually you will like that they do, but because they have a higher sense of perceiving and imagining danger and man very low or non existent in some cases, there is where it becomes their problem.

it is as well a quick answer that conceals financial constrains or lack of interest, putting the blame on somebody else to stop a discussion with a little manhood as sacrifice.

 

[NAM001]

There seems to be some odd equation being made here that a "masculine" male means doing whatever the hell your "masculine" heart desires, whenever it so desires.

That's not masculine; it's just inconsiderate.

I cant say I have ever seen the attitude you cite with out other issues at play like addictions. Even in the 60's I did not see it. As I see it men has always taken the lead because they have been the most qualified to make a decision. If anything areas have become more territorial than before. The wife says she wants to redo the kitchen. I tell her she can have 15 grand to do it. Not because of I can control it but because 15 grand is what is not already dedicated to another project like a new roof ect. She leaves the finances to me and I leave the decorating to her and she likes that arrangement. That is not to say that men should control the purse. It is to say control what you can control best and leave the things you cant do best to those that can. It works for us. I do the cars and those things she insures we eat healthy. Im no cook and she is by far no banker. We are also 60 years old and have both realized long ago the hype of womens movement or any other movement,,,, has been more destructive than not when it comes to designing your home life by others standards. Its too bad youth cant have the benefit of what us old folk can offer. Lives would be so much simpler and no one would know who the K girls are.

 

[NAM001]

Being considerate is one thing.

Being whipped is another.

Think about it.

Im glad you posted that comment.. Youth and movements like to make both the same and function as... if you are not a wimp you don't respect me. Ive kicked too many to the curb for that. So Im not sure if I am not considerate or Im not a wimp. But then I don't care. go figure. I guess we wont know till I open a door , and she has to figure out whether it was done out of fear or not.

 

[NAM001]

How long ago was he confirmed? This is the first time I've heard anyone bring up race with regards to Thomas.

When Mr Thomas was confirmed there was IMO a very small component of race involved. No where near what it is today. Appointees have become political statements and not functionally responsible decisions.

 

[jerrwhy01]

Way too many people are put are putting it on a pedestal.

 

[ljpm]

Feminism is defined as the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. The important part being equality. If a man has had to 'surrender his jewels', this is not feminism.

Personally, I am lucky. When I started thinking about getting another motorcycle (after many many years of not riding) my wife talked me into it and then went and bought one for herself (new rider). When I stopped into a dive shop 4 years ago to see how much it would cost, my wife sign up with me on the spot. Cost, however is an issue sometimes but it is more my hang up than hers. Guess I'm just lucky.

 

[rivers]

My wife and I do not ask each other's permission to go off and enjoy our separate hobbies or to go and hang out with friends, or just enjoy our own separate lives every once and while. We will check with each other to make sure there isn't anything in the diary we may have forgotten about, but that's it. My wife knows that 3-4 weekends a year I will go off diving for the entire weekend to the coast, and 2-3 weekend days/month throughout the year, I will be diving (and if I'm not diving, I will go off for a 30-50 mile cycle ride before she even gets out of bed). I'm going to Scapa Flow with my club in September for a week. When the email came through about it, my wife's response was "So you're going right? You've been talking about going to Scapa for years, so go and enjoy it. Maybe I'll go do an aerial intensive that week".
Relationships shouldn't be about controlling your partner, but complimenting and working with each other. The key is to make time for each other.

 

[Hou s4m]

I go diving almost once a month now. And i have planned trips until august. That would mean one weekend away from her and the kids. She's not very kosher about it, but she knows how much i love water and the aquatic creature i've become. To make up to it, for island trips, i plan to bring them along and put them in a nicer resort with facilities and spend the last day - no fly - quality time with them. Lets see how well that works out.
She's into zumba now. Thats makes me a baby sitter for 2 nights and Saturday mornings every week. The other day she wants me to enlist! Telling me i needed to get myself a beach body to go along nicely with those gears Ive bought
Diving is an expensive sport, like my past interests, cars, bikes, video games, for me its ok to have my spending checked. I do sometimes get a little careless. i'm also very busy with work. i do hope this new arrangement we're having would improve our quality time together. Then there would not be any "my wife wont let me..." anymore. Thee he he.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Interesting topic, Trace ... did Sonya give you permission to post it?

... Bob (Grateful Diver)