When your spouse isn't a diver

[Lost Yooper]

Originally posted by Scuba1
Well I have the A quatic I nduced D ivource S yndrome
and to tell the truth I don´t even suffer.
Guess it is one way to deal with it too. and it stops any...

That's funny!!



Mike

 

[ebbtide]

yup that is truley a laugh ,

my wife dosent dive ! in fact she is very H2O phobic , she is very scaird of the water and even the thaught of water getting in her face freeks her out . i thaught ide take her on a boat dive once and i never told her the boat was small well a 12 ft chase boat and when i had to climb back aboard and the small boat started to tip as i got in she panicked needless to say she wasent impressed but thank god that she trusts me enuf to let me take her on the boat agin she said she can work on her TAN ! but we have no problem where she dosent dive she has her thing and i have my diving
i want to buy a vedio camera some day and build a water proof housing so i can show her what it is that i like doing ! and y i like it so mutch

 

[hphobbie@aol.com]

My wife has been certified for 19 years, and has about that many dives in that time ... no quarries, only Ginnie Springs and Bahamas and Keys ... if she will go on a trip w/me it is with NO students etc, not even local, and dive only a couple times a week; no beers after class with the group; no post trip parties at our house; to walk in this house you would have no idea that 4 certified divers live there (kids are certified as well)

we are coming up on 20 years and to be honest I am tired of us having 2 separate lives. I cannot and will not give up diving, and for whatever reason (some is money) she will not join in the activities, most of which is dry anyway. Very frustrating. It has gotten worse since September, and since our kid is a senior in HS, and my business just lost it's biggest and virtually only account, money is a huge topic now. She would not go to my partners wife's 40th b-day shin dig last night because it would cost too much.

Tongue in cheek I put together a slide show in 1983 called "SCUBA Widow to SCUBA Buddy". Seems we have gone the reverse recently as well.

So, be careful about the non-diving spouse. Make sure that all is OK with it. It could be a great way to drift apart. Trust me on this one, I am there.

 

[tacmed]

was married for 4 years and tried to get my wife to dive. Not only did she have no interest but did not like me going either. I spent 3 years out of diving just to keep her happy. Am diving again thanks to the encouragment and understanding of the new love of my life. BUT she did say if I spend 1 more dollar on dive gear this month shes gonna leave me. GOD I am gonna miss her.

 

[ScubaStan]

Originally posted by Arduous
My wife is a non diver, heck she can’t even swim. But when I dive she comes with me. She is my surface support team. Weather seated by the shore or on the deck of a boat, when I come up she’s there, ready with a towel an ice cold water bottle and kiss on the cheek.

I too am in this same scenario. My wife doesn't swim nor can she lift any of my gear due to lifting problems, but she doesn't hold me back from diving and sometimes she will snorkel using a flotation device. I feel somewhat reserved about my diving since she has no hobbies of her own, unless you call shopping a hobby, and I feel kinda guilty for spending $50 a weekend twice a week for my habit. My excuse for diving to her is it puts me under a different kind of pressure than work does, but it is a good kind of pressure. But, she loves going out on the boat with me, so it works well.

 

[O-ring]

...and it has worked out pretty well. She actually got me into diving (she lived in Cozumel for 1.5 years) and has quite a few more dives under her belt than I do.

However, like some have already mentioned, she is a warm water diver and has absolutely no interest in wrecks, mixed gases, and deco diving. She has been pretty supportive of me pursuing technical training and getting gear, but I will not be able to get her to dive in cold, deep, low-viz situations...(she wears a 5mm full in the Bahamas).

She mentioned something the other day (as I was scoping out a new wing and regs) about wanting some new clothes more than she wanted some more dive gear...I guess we will go with a dive gear <--> women's clothing barter system for my tech diving career and dive together when we go to the Caribbean or points further south.

Hope it works out..

 

[dkerr]

I am another lucky one. My wife and I actually met the night before certification class started. She does not like the cold low vis of New England though, so up hear I need to rely on other dive buddies.

 

[landlocked]

The spouse does dive. But golf...my prefered surface interval....is a differnet story. On the other hand she does karate and I am way to mature to enjoy learning how to dismantel someone. I guess we too have our together things and our individual things. Anyway, it all works out for us if we keep the things in perspective. IMHO the order is:

1. Spouse
2. Religion
3. Children
4. Other contractual obligations like employment
5. Hobbies (currently diving and golf)
6. Other stuff.

When we keep it in order and keep it all balanced, it works out great. A wise man once told me that there is nothing in your life more important than your spouse. After much thought I have come to believe him. Truth is, that in the long run, the marriage relationionship, children and grandchildren are going to yield more joy than diving or golf or whatever. That doesn't mean that you can leave any of those items listed above out. It all needs to be there (in the right quantities.) However, the wise man (see above) said that when the spouse becames your anchor in life then everything else works out.

Now, if a person is still looking for a spouse, in what order would I arrange these things? Hmmm...... and who was it that said something like; " You should date with both eyes wide open, but after your married you should keep them half shut?"

(If this reads a little preachy, I'm sorry. Didn't mean it that way for anyone but myself. Thanks UP for the reminder.)

 

[jasondbaker]

Last year my wife and I were in Cancun and I decided to do a couple morning dives. My wife decided (ahem, demanded) that she go along on the boat. She didn't want to be alone the whole morning. I wasn't too happy about paying $25 for her to take a boat ride. But, I really wanted to dive.

Well, it was a little windy out and there were 2-4ft waves on the open water. The boat really started rocking when it stopped to unload the divers. I knew this was going to be a problem.

We were down for about 45 minutes. Of course the waves are not a problem when you are drifting along at 40ft. On the surface my wife had to endure an hour of rocking back-and-forth (actually a total of two hours with 2 dives).

I never knew a person could turn that shade of green.

Needless to say, my wife will NEVER step foot on a dive boat again. She is cool with my diving. She doesn't want to even hear about it anymore because it reminds her of that fateful day.

We have reached a perfect understanding.

 

[Wah]

I try to go places where they have a dive center onsite as well as a spa or a nice pool area. My wife doesn't dive, but she likes to snorkel so I try to get a morning two tank dive in while she is getting a massage or tanning at the pool... and then snorkel in the afternoon with her. She's pretty cool about me getting my dives in.... maybe its b/c of the big life insurance policy I have. Anyway, on my dive trips, i've either been buddied up with someone, or gone on group dives. I'd rather have a buddy that I'm comfortable with, but I've met a lot of nice people going the insta-buddy route. What was surprising is the number of female divers that I meet who go diving alone. I think most of my insta-buddies (in the few trips that I have been on) have been women.