Dear Dork Divers Advice Column – Ask us your questions

[almitywife]

Dear DD,

I come to you with a problem, but also, with a preposition. I have been dating the same woman for 3 years now and I'm finally done. I'm in college now and I think its time for a change. My problem is, its going to be hard to break up with her. My preposition is, I need something to say to her and thats where you all come in. Suggest something for me to say as my last words to my dealy beloved and I might just say them. What do you say ?


COPYPASTAAAA!!!

i suggest you DONT say ... "its not you... its me.... i will always love you"

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Dear Dork Divers

i currently own 9 tanks and just had a sweet deal pop up for another 2 tanks... should i take it?

can one own too many tanks??

Dear Almity Wife:

In my estimation, tanks should be regarded the way that Imelda Marcos regards shoes: You can never have too many! By all means, snag those two tanks!

 

[Chazzjoh]

Dear DD,

I come to you with a problem, but also, with a preposition. I have been dating the same woman for 3 years now and I'm finally done. I'm in college now and I think its time for a change. My problem is, its going to be hard to break up with her. My preposition is, I need something to say to her and thats where you all come in. Suggest something for me to say as my last words to my dealy beloved and I might just say them. What do you say ?


COPYPASTAAAA!!!

I might suggest you tell her:

"I'm just not that into you."

She will probably get the reference. If she doesn't then tell her you simply

"can't date anyone that doesn't get that reference!"

 

[fisherdvm]

Dear Dork Divers

i currently own 9 tanks and just had a sweet deal pop up for another 2 tanks... should i take it?

can one own too many tanks??

As long as you have a tank in every color of the rainbow, it never hurts to have two more of a different shade.

 

[grassyknoll]

Dear DD,

I come to you with a problem, but also, with a preposition. I have been dating the same woman for 3 years now and I'm finally done. I'm in college now and I think its time for a change. My problem is, its going to be hard to break up with her. My preposition is, I need something to say to her and thats where you all come in. Suggest something for me to say as my last words to my dealy beloved and I might just say them. What do you say ?

Well, this kinda fits in with the whole Bart-San Franscisco thing. Tell her your going to become a relationship DIR convert, from then on all you partners must have the same "ahem" equipment as you......

 

[Guba]

Okay, I just gotta ask...
Do any dork divers actually know the original meaning of the word, "dork"?

Here's a hint: It originated with whalers. Another hint: it refers to a body part on a sperm whale. Well, the male ones anyway.

This is in no way an attempt to be desparaging to dork divers. After looking at the manifesto, I find I may well indeed be one!
Long live the DD's!

 

[WetFatCat]

Dear Dork Divers,

My large-dry-hundredvalves snorkel is blue but my scumball is yellow. Will I die? Will I die because of this?

 

[dtykris]

Is it nessesary to have your tank filled at the LDS
My local ACE hardware is having a sale
Is propane safe? that is to breath underwater

 

[1_T_Submariner]

First try adding an Air II or an Octo Plus, Don't forget your Spare air. Then be sure to dive using your Console computer/gauges. You will never survive all of these risk factors combined.
PS. Do you have your ADD card yet???

Dear Dork Divers,

I dive with a Zeagle Ranger, and while close, it is no BPW. I have made several dives and am starting to get frustrated, when am I going to die! I am a busy man and don't have time to waste doing countless dives enjoying myself waiting for the inevitable to happen. Should I go back to my old wraparound BC to hasten my demise? How long does it usually take, what gives?

Sincerely,

3D (Dork Diver Disciple)

 

[Racket]

Dear DD,

I need something to say to her and thats where you all come in. Suggest something for me to say as my last words to my dealy beloved and I might just say them. What do you say ?


COPYPASTAAAA!!!

This is an easy one. I am assuming you are 1000's of miles away from her. You say nothing. If she doesnt talk to you for a few months she will get the hint. Better yet, have one of your friends take her out, this way she gets rid of you, then the friend can slowly fade away from her. This way you minimize the damage that would be blamed on you.

By saying to a woman "I want to still be friends" really means " I would like to nail you on occasion, but have no intent of having a relationship with you because quite frankly you are annoying".